Him.
Not me.
And it’s been seven days since I last saw him.
After Kas convinced me to let him take the blame, I guess I was in some form of shock.
I mean, I had just killed a man. I guess it would have been weird if I hadn’t gone into shock.
Kas sat me on the sofa with Cece. Then, he went about setting his scene.
I sat there with Cece on the sofa, holding her in my arms, while she sobbed quietly. And I watched, almost abstractly, as Kas wiped down the gun, removing my prints from it. Then, he put it in Damien’s hands, putting his prints back on it. Then, Kas held the gun in his own hand, putting his fingerprint on the trigger, incriminating himself.
He came over and knelt in front of Cece, and he recounted the story to her, the one we were to tell the police.
After he was sure we both had it straight, he called the police.
And we sat there, Cece and me on the sofa, while Kas stood, leaning against the wall across from us, his eyes never swaying from me. And Damien’s body was on the floor between us.
Then, there was a hammering at the front door. A voice yelling that it was the police.
Kas pushed off the wall and calmly walked to the front door.
And that was when all hell broke loose.
The instant the policeman saw the gun on the floor where Kas had placed it, he started yelling at us to get on the floor.
Kas was pushed to the floor by one of the officers, hands behind his head.
Cece and I slid off the sofa and got to our stomachs on the floor.
Then, we were handcuffed and separated.
As if we hadn’t been through enough already.
But I got that the police didn’t know the facts of what had happened. All they knew was that a dead man was in our living room.
They had to be cautious.
Kas was taken from the apartment. I saw him being led away. Our eyes connected for the briefest moment, and I said a hundred things to him in my mind.
Then, he was gone.
I was taken into the kitchen and put in the chair where I sat every morning to have my breakfast. Cece was kept in the living room.
The officer took one look at me, with my beaten-up face, wearing only Kas’s shirt, and he removed the handcuffs. He sat opposite me and started asking questions.
I answered every one.
For the most part, it was the truth. About how I’d come home and Damien was here, and he had Cece tied up with a gun pointed to her. I told the police everything.
The only difference was the ending.
I told them it was Kas holding that gun.
I felt sick about lying. My body shook. The policeman thought I was just in shock.
I was. But I was also a liar.
I am a liar.
Clearly believing me and feeling sympathy for me, he then made me a cup of tea.
“For the shock,” he said.
I didn’t bother to tell him that I didn’t drink tea. When he put it in front of me, I just held the cup in my hands and lifted it to my face, letting the steam warm me.
A paramedic was brought into the kitchen to check me over. She cleaned up my eye, which was swelling up big time.
She asked me if I’d been raped. I glanced down at Kas’s shirt that I was still wearing.
I shook my head. Then, I remembered how close it had come to happening.
If Kas hadn’t come when he did, I’d have been raped…or dead by now.
Cece, too.
He saved us.
I might have pulled the trigger that killed Damien, but Kas was the one who charged a guy with a gun in his hand.
He saved me. Twice now.
After the paramedic finished with me, Cece was brought into the kitchen, a female officer with her.
Cece looked ashen and shook up.
Our eyes met, and a silent conversation passed between us.
She’d lied, too.
I’d made her an accomplice.
I hated myself in that moment.
The female police officer told us that our apartment was now an official crime scene.
We couldn’t stay there. Not that I would have wanted to anyway.
She told us to pack clothes to last us a few days. That we wouldn’t be allowed back until the forensics were done.
Cece and I walked out of our kitchen and into the hall. Our apartment was swarming with police.
I felt her reach for my hand, and she squeezed it.
“It’s going to be okay,” she whispered.
She didn’t sound like she believed her own words. But I bit my lip and nodded my head.
Then, we silently walked to our bedrooms.
I didn’t want to take Kas’s shirt off. So, I buttoned it up properly and pulled on a pair of jeans. I quickly packed my bag and met Cece back out in the hallway.
Then, the nice policeman who had made me a cup of tea drove us to a hotel. He checked us in and then told us that they’d be in touch in the morning, as we would have to go into the station to give our official statements.
Up in our shared room, I lay in the bed with Cece lying beside me—both of us not even pretending to sleep, but neither of us wanting to speak.
I was still wearing Kas’s shirt. I couldn’t bring myself to take it off. Just having his scent around me was a comfort.
And I thought about Kas. He was all I thought about.
I couldn’t think about what I’d done…killing Damien. I knew I’d break if I did.
So, I pushed that away, and I thought about what Kas had done for me. He’d saved me. Put me before himself. He’d protected me.
No one had ever done anything like that for me before.
And he’d told me that he loved me.
He loves me.
I couldn’t stop the tears after that.
Cece rolled over in bed and wrapped her arms around me. I cried harder. Then, she started to cry, too.
We stayed there, crying together, holding each other, until we fell asleep.