Just thinking about how much I enjoyed tonight is enough to make me accept and even embrace his casualness afterward. Maybe with a little more practice, I can even learn how to enforce it myself.
I walk to my apartment door but pause when I hear someone speaking. I press my ear to the door and listen. Corbin is having a one-sided conversation in the living room, presumably with someone on the other end of his cell phone.
I cant walk in now. He thinks Im in bed.
I look back at Miless apartment door, but Im not about to knock on it. Not only would that be awkward, but it would also mean hed get even less sleep than hes already about to get.
I walk to the elevator and decide to sit out the next half hour in the lobby, hoping Corbin will go back to his bedroom soon.
Its ridiculous that I even feel I have to hide this from Corbin, but the last thing I want is for him to be upset with Miles. And thats exactly what would happen.
I make it to the lobby and step off the elevator, not quite sure what Im even doing. I guess I could go wait it out in my car.
You lost?
I glance over to Cap, and hes seated in his usual spot, despite the fact that its almost midnight. He pats the empty chair next to him. Have a seat.
I walk past him to the empty chair. I didnt bring any food this time, I say. Sorry.
He shakes his head. I dont like you for your food, Tate. Youre not that good of a cook.
I laugh, and it feels good to laugh. Things have just felt so intense for the past two days.
How was Thanksgiving? he asks. Did the boy have a good time?
I look at him and tilt my head in confusion. The boy?
He nods. Mr. Archer. Didnt he spend the holiday with you and your brother?
I nod, understanding his question now. Yes, I say. I want to add that Im pretty sure Mr. Archer just had the best Thanksgiving hes had in more than six years, but I dont. Mr. Archer had a great time, I think.
And whats the smile for?
I immediately wipe away the grin I didnt realize was plastered on my face. I scrunch up my nose. What smile?
Cap laughs. Oh, hell, he says. You and the boy? Are you fallin in love, Tate?
I shake my head. No, I say immediately. Its not like that.
How so, then?
I quickly look away as soon as I feel the blush creep up my neck. Cap laughs when he sees my cheeks turn as red as the chairs were seated on.
I may be old, but that dont mean I cant read body language, he says. Does this mean you and the boy are … whats the term they use now? Hookin up? Bumpin uglies?
I lean forward and bury my face in my hands. I cant believe Im having this conversation with an eighty-year-old man.
I quickly shake my head. Im not answering that.
I see, Cap says with a nod. Were both quiet for a moment while we process what I more or less just told him. Well, good, he says. Maybe that boy will actually smile every now and then.
I nod in complete agreement. I could definitely use more of his smile. Can we change the subject now?
Cap slowly turns his head toward me and arches his bushy gray eyebrow. I ever tell you about the time I found a dead body on the third floor?
I shake my head, relieved that he changed the subject but confused that the subject of a dead body has somehow helped me find relief.
Im just as morbid as Cap.
Chapter fourteen
MILES
Six years earlier
Do you think the fact that we shouldnt be doing this is why
we like doing it so much? Rachel asks.
Shes referring to kissing me.
We kiss a lot.
Every chance we get and even chances we dont get.
When you say shouldnt, do you mean because our parents are
together?
She says yes. Her voice is breathless, because Im currently
kissing my way up her neck.
I like that I take her breath away.
Remember the first time I saw you, Rachel?
She moans a sound that means yes.
And do you remember me walking you to Mr. Claytons
class?
She gives me another wordless yes.
I wanted to kiss you that day. I work my way back up
to her mouth and look her in the eyes. Did you want to
kiss me?
She says yes, and I can see in her eyes that shes thinking
back to that day.
To the day she
Became
My
Everything.
We didnt know about our parents that day, I explain. Yet we
still wanted to be doing this. So no, I dont think thats why we
like it now.
She smiles.
See? I whisper, brushing my lips softly across hers to show
her how good it feels.
She lifts off her pillow and holds herself up on her elbow.
What if we just like kissing in general? she asks. What if it
has nothing to do with me or you in particular?
She always does this. I tell her she should be a lawyer, because
she likes playing devils advocate so much. But I love it when
she does it, so I always go along with it.
Good point, I tell her. I do like kissing. I dont know of
anyone who doesnt like it. But theres a difference between this
and simply liking to kiss.
She looks at me curiously. Whats the difference?
I lower my mouth to hers once more. You, I whisper. I like
kissing you.
That answers her question, because she shuts up and brings
her mouth back to mine.
I like that Rachel questions everything.
It makes me look at things in a different way.
I have always enjoyed kissing the girls Ive kissed in the past
but only because I was attracted to them. It didnt really have
anything to do with them in particular.