Forever.
Miles, she whispers against my mouth, teasing my lips with hers. Ive never made love in an airplane before.
A smile immediately forms on my lips. Its as if she somehow infiltrated my thoughts.
Ive never made love to my fiancée before, I say in response.
Her hands slowly slide down my neck and shirt until her fingers meet the button on my jeans.
Well, I think we need to rectify that, she says, ending her sentence with a kiss.
When her mouth meets mine again, its as if every last piece of my armor disintegrates and every last piece of ice surrounding the glacier that was my heart melts and evaporates.
Whoever coined the phrase, I love you to death obviously never experienced the kind of love Tate and I share.
If that were the case, the phrase would be I love you to life.
Because thats exactly what Tate did.
She loved me back to life.
The end.
EPILOGUE
I think back to the day I married her.
It was one of the best days of my life.
I remember standing next to Ian and Corbin at the end of the aisle. We were waiting for her to walk through the doors when Corbin leaned over and whispered something to me.
He said, Youre the only one who could have ever met my standards for her, Miles. Im happy its you.
I was happy it was me, too.
That was more than two years ago, and every day since then, Ive somehow fallen in love with her a little bit more.
Or flew, rather.
I didnt cry the day I married her, though.
Her tears were falling falling falling that day, but mine werent.
I was convinced they never would.
Not in the way I wished they could.
It was eight months ago when we found out we were having a baby.
We werent trying to have a baby, but we also werent not trying.
If it happens it happens, Tate said.
It happened.
When we found out, we were both excited.
She cried.
Her tears were falling falling but mine werent.
As excited as I was, I was also scared.
I was scared of the fear that comes along with loving someone that much.
Scared of everything bad that could happen.
I was scared that my memories would take away from the day I became a father again.
Well, it just happened.
And Im still scared.
Terrified.
Its a girl, the doctor says.
A girl.
We just had a baby girl.
I just became a father again.
Tate just became a mother.
Feel something, Miles.
Tate looks up at me.
I know she can see the fear in my eyes. I also know how much pain shes in right now, but she still somehow manages a smile.
Sam, she whispers, saying her name out loud for the first time. Tate insisted we name her Sam in honor of Caps real name, Samuel.
I wouldnt have had it any other way.
The nurse walks over to Tate and lays Sam in her arms.
Tate begins to cry.
My eyes are still dry.
Im still too scared to look away from Tate and down at our daughter.
Im not afraid of what Ill feel when I look at her.
Im afraid of what I wont feel.
Im terrified my past experiences have ruined any ability I have to feel what every father should feel in this moment.
Come here, Tate says, wanting me closer.
I sit down next to them on the bed.
She hands Sam to me, and my hands are shaking, but I take her anyway.
I close my eyes and release a slow breath before finding the courage to open them again.
I feel Tates hand fall gently to my arm.
Shes beautiful, Miles, she whispers. Look at her.
I open my eyes and inhale sharply when I see her.
She looks just like he did, except that she has Tates brown hair.
Her eyes are blue.
She has my eyes.
I feel it.
Its all there.
Everything I felt the first time I held him in my arms is every single thing Im feeling now as I look down at her.
Believing that I lacked the ability to love someone in this capacity again was the only fear I had left to conquer.
One look at Sam, and she just helped me conquer that fear.
Shes already my hero, and shes only two minutes old.
Shes so beautiful, Tate, I whisper. So beautiful.
My voice cracks.
My face is covered in tears.
Falling
Falling
Falling.
For the first time since the moment I held Clayton in my arms, Im crying tears of joy.
Rachel was right. The pain will always be there.
So will the fear.
But the pain and fear are no longer my life. Theyre only moments.
Moments that are constantly overshadowed with every minute I spend with Tate.
And now with every minute I spend with Sam.
Me and Tate and Sam.
My family.
I kiss her on the forehead, and then I lean over and kiss Tate for giving me something this beautiful again.
Tate lays her head on my arm, and we both watch her.
Our daughter.
I love you so much, Sam.
Im looking down at the perfection we created when it hits me.
Its all worth it.
Its the beautiful moments like these that make up for the ugly love.