But I think I’m ready to bear the judgment. I’ve been through so much of it already that I can’t see a future where ridicule tears me apart anymore.
The only snag in Connor’s statement is the beginning: It’s something that affects the four of you. If this is about my pregnancy, then why does it affect Ryke and Daisy too?
“I don’t understand,” Lo says first, his voice full of annoyance. Like the world is clawing at him before he has a chance to raise his guards.
“I spoke with a contact that I have from GBA News,” Connor says. He collects many people, so it’s not surprising that he’d know someone on the inside. “They have the exclusive rights to break the story about Lily’s pregnancy. I called him to ask what kind of backlash there would be. I wanted to prepare you two.” His eyes flit from Lo to me.
So maybe we do have time to put on armor.
“What he told me,” Connor continues, “was something I didn’t expect.”
I wait for someone to crack a joke about Connor not knowing everything, but Ryke and Lo stay eerily quiet, their silence only intensifying the moment.
“He said that people will debate whether the child is really Loren’s. Or if it’s Ryke’s.”
His announcement drops an indescribable weight in the room. No one mentions a paternity test. How if I took one, the argument would be put to rest. That’s not the point.
The point is that this is wrong. That I’ve finally trampled over the three-way rumors. I’ve finally moved on.
It’s something that affects the four of you.
Ryke is whispering in Daisy’s ear, his eyes hardened to stone. She stares faraway at the rug and shakes her head. “We’re together,” she says under her breath.
The muscles in his jaw tighten, and he rises to his feet. “Can we have like ten f**king minutes to talk about this alone?” Ryke asks us. “It’s a big deal.”
I’m frightened to make eye contact with Lo or to even move. My little sister is dating Ryke, and now people will believe that I’m having his baby. How many times will my addiction hurt her?
Rose stands. “That’s probably a good idea.”
In a quick second, Ryke holds Daisy’s hand and they retreat up to their room. Both Connor and Rose exit into the kitchen, giving us privacy too.
I want to believe that these rumors aren’t different. But they’re ones that may actually sting both Ryke and Lo more than any others. They could affect all of us in new ways, challenge us again.
“Lil…” His voice isn’t as edged as I predicted. In a deep breath, he says, “Look at me.”
I turn my head to stare up at him. I read his features, the creases of his forehead, the flicker of hurt, but it’s not as dark as it could be.
“Is this the right thing, being here?” I ask him. I don’t want to cause Daisy anymore suffering, and if we distanced ourselves from them, then maybe—
“If I’ve learned anything in the past two years,” Lo says, “it’s that we need to be surrounded by people we love. And honestly, I don’t think they’d even let us have it any other way.”
I try to smile, but it’s a weak one. I agree though. No pushing family and friends aside. We’ve grown closer to them through every struggle, and we shouldn’t abandon that over a theory or a what if. We’re all united together by these events, a team that I don’t want to disband. Not now.
He cups my face, his thumb stroking my cheek. “One day at a time,” he says, his amber eyes boring powerfully into mine, “that’s how we’re going to take this.”
One day at a time. “Isn’t that too slow for you?” I ask. The Loren Hale that I’m used to wants no delay on life, no drawing out the agony. He hates the wait.
I watch his gaze fall to my belly. And then they flicker to my features. He searches them like he’s engraining each freckle, each piece of me. “Life moves too quickly,” he says. “I don’t want to speed through a single moment. Not anymore.”
I cry into a laugh because I never thought I’d hear him talk this way. He brushes my tears for me, our lips only a breath apart.
And I whisper, “One day at a time then.”