“I helped Uncle Kellan.” She turned to give the camera a cheesy grin. “He loves me bestest. He said I’m gonna win.”
With a laugh, I kissed her hair. “I think he’s right.”
Gibson’s adorable face turned to a frown as she turned her attention back to me. “But I want you to win.” She stared at me like she was giving me superpowers, then she smiled. “There. I gave my win to you.”
She was so sweet, I had to swallow the lump in my throat. The theme music started playing, and knowing I needed to leave soon, I gave her another hug. She didn’t want to let go from this one. “Gibby, I need to go, honey. You stay with Sam, okay?”
She was frowning again when I pulled her off me. “When will you come home?” she asked me.
I felt like she’d just impaled me with a foot-long icicle. “Oh…sweetheart…soon, okay? I promise.”
She nodded, then, as only a child could, her mood flipped around and she gave me a gargantuan grin. “For my birthday?”
With a laugh, I nodded. “Yes, definitely for your birthday.”
She clapped, then squeezed me in a hug. When she pulled away, she pointed at me with such a serious expression, it was hard not to laugh. “Mine though…not Onnika’s.” Onnika was turning two in a few weeks, while Gibson’s fourth was a couple months away. “Just mine,” Gibson reiterated, her face firm.
With a sigh, I grabbed my daughter’s shoulders and made her look at me. “Honey, you need to stop being jealous of your sister. Just because I love her doesn’t mean I love you any less. I love the both of you…so much. You’re both wonderful, beautiful, talented, special little people…” My voice trailed off as I considered my own reoccurring jealousies. Had Gibson picked up on my attitude and felt inadequate next to Onnika because she watched me struggling to let things go? God, I hoped not. I didn’t want her to live that way. I cupped her cheeks. “You are the most amazing you I know, and you don’t need to compare yourself to anybody. There will never be another little girl like you. Ever.”
She stared at me a second, then grinned. “Okay.”
I kissed her nose, then stood up. It was time for me to be the most amazing me I could be. I gave Gibson to Sam, thanked him for keeping an eye on her, then headed toward the stage to take charge of my fate. Time to own this shit.
And I did. When my name was called for introductions, I stepped out onto the stage like I was receiving thunderous, earsplitting applause, and in my mind, I was. As I stepped right up to the spot where I’d made love to my wife, the thrilling image of driving into her filled me. I would visualize that moment every time I came out here. It would help me get through this.
With a knowing smile on my lips, I kissed my fingers, then found my wife in the crowd and held them out to her. You’re my everything. Anna was screaming for me as she held Onnika in her arms. Onnika was clapping, and even though I couldn’t hear her over the cheering, I could tell she was saying, Daddy! Damn. I had the best family ever. How did I almost give them up? Matt was right. I was a fucking idiot.
Liam was announced after me, and I tackled him in a friendly hug around the neck when his moment in the spotlight was over with. He was all smiles as he wrapped his arm around me. It sort of blew me away how close I felt to my family now. I’d always had a bond with them, but now, after everything I’d gone through recently, it was more than that. I’d fight tooth and nail for any one of them.
Spotting my family in the crowd, I waved at them while the rest of the contestants were announced. Mom was hollering for her two sons, Dad was grinning ear to ear, and Chelsey had tears in her eyes. It moved me, made me want to win this for them so they’d be proud of me, although I was pretty sure they already were. Mom had said as much when she’d called me this morning.
After introductions, we were separated into groups to perform as “bands.” I was picked to be the lead singer of my group, which made me a bit uneasy, considering the bad reviews from my lackluster attempt at an album. I put the doubt aside though, and redid a D-Bags song with my own personal flair. Instead of just singing the lyrics, I rapped a part of them. It was a slow, steady rhythm that perfectly matched the classic song we were doing. The crowd went nuts after we were done and, shocking the hell out of me, our group got a standing ovation from the audience…including the judges. Even Matt was beaming as he applauded us.
By the end of the show, I felt exhilarated and energized, and I felt great about my chances of surviving this.
The results show was the next night. My stomach was twisted into knots as I waited to hear if I’d be moving on or not, but I’d kicked ass last night, and I held on to that fact as tightly as I could. They’d liked me. A guest performer was brought in to entertain the crowd, and I was both surprised and not surprised to see who it was…Avoiding Redemption. Justin’s band.
I looked around for him backstage, but it was Gibson who found him. “Daddy! Uncle Justin’s here!”
Remembering my last words to him, I felt a little stupid when I was face to face with him. “Oh…hey…good to see you, man. How’s it been?”
Justin crooked me a smile as he looked me over. Gibson was holding on to his hand so tight, her little knuckles were white; she already had a thing for rock stars. I was not going to make it through her teen years.
“Things are good,” Justin answered me.
Running a hand through my hair, which was finally down to my eyes again, I let out a sigh. “Hey, I’m sorry about the stuff I said, about the album. I was being a dick. It wasn’t your fault your label didn’t want it. And honestly, it was crap.”