“All right then.” With a smile nothing short of disgustingly wide when I drop back down, surprised there is even ground under my feet, he extends his thick arm out to Nora, and I’m reeling with self-loathing as I hold my spine straight and head for Nora, resisting the urge to go into the kitchens and scrub my mouth raw. It feels dirty and cheap. No, not it. I. I feel dirty and cheap, and the thought of kissing my beautiful Remy with this same mouth makes my eyes tear up and my throat constrict.
I already feel drained by the time I reach my sister’s table. Around us, there are empty tables with upside down chairs littered throughout, except for our small table, which is set with one electric tea light at the center and chopsticks for four.
“Nora.” My voice is deceptively soft, but inside I’m a mass of conflictive emotions, even resentment toward my sister for sitting here, watching me have to kiss her filthy boyfriend’s tattoo. But seeing the lifeless expression on her face, I just know the girl across the table from me, willowy and frail, pale and not really happy, isn’t really my sister.
Reaching for her hand on the table, I’m saddened when she doesn’t let me hold it and instead shoves it under the table with a little sniffle. We stare at each other for a moment in silence, and it strikes me that the sight of that black scorpion almost crawling into my sister’s eye is the most disturbing thing I’ve ever seen in my life.
“You shouldn’t be here, Brooke,” she says, her eyes on the men and Riley and Melanie, who wait in stunned silence by the door. When our eyes meet again, I’m shocked by the animosity in her gaze, openly lashing at me.
A sudden anger seizes me too, and I narrow my eyes. “Mom wants to know if you liked the Australian crocodiles, Nora. She loved the postcard you sent and can’t wait to see where else you’re heading to. So? How were the crocodiles, sister?”
There’s a world of bitterness in her voice when she answers. “Obviously I wouldn’t know.” She wipes the back of her hand across her nose and looks away, scowling at the mention of Mom.
“Nora…” Lowering my voice, I signal at the empty Japanese restaurant containing the Scorpion and the three goons, who watch us from the sushi bar. “Is this honestly what you want for yourself? You have your whole life ahead of you.”
“And I want to live it my own way, Brooke.”
There’s a bunch of defensiveness in her tone, so I try to keep from sounding aggressive. “But why here, Nora? Why? Mom and Dad would be heartbroken if they knew the things you’ve gotten yourself involved in.”
“At least I keep them from knowing the truth!” she snaps out, and this is the first spark of life I actually see in her gold eyes.
“But why would you do this to them? Why would you drop out of college for this?”
“Because I’m sick and tired of them comparing me to you.” She glares, then starts making a mocking voice that resembles our mother when she whines. “‘Why don’t you do this like Brooke?’ ‘Why don’t you find something meaningful to do with your life like Brooke?’ They just want me to be like you! And I don’t want to. What’s the point? You missed all the fun growing up so you could be this hotshot gold medalist and now you’re not only not an Olympic medalist, you can’t even sprint anymore.”
“I may not sprint anymore but I can still kick your ass right now,” I angrily lash, hurt beyond words at what she’s telling me.
“So what?” she continues. “You were the best track athlete in college. Everyone couldn’t stop talking about how talented you were and how you were going to make it. That’s all you did and talked about, and now look at you! You can’t even do what you loved and will probably end up like mom and dad, living in the past, with your stupid old gold medals still hanging in your bedroom!”
“For your information, I am happier right now than I have ever been, Nora! If you’d only paid a little attention, you’d realize that my life went on, and to places I didn’t even imagine I’d ever be. You want to be independent? We get it. Go for it! Just be independent on your own, not on some man who makes me lick his gross tattoo so I can see my sister!”
“I like it that he’s protective of me,” she shoots back. “He fights for me.”
“Fight for yourself, Nora. I promise it will give you tons more satisfaction.”
Nora sniffles angrily and wipes her hand across her nose, glaring down at the tea light as a silence falls between us. I drop my voice once more.
“Are you doing coke, Nora?”
My sister seems to take to the fifth amendment and doesn’t respond, which only serves to double my concern and frustration.
“Come home, Nora. Please,” I plead, my voice a whisper so only she can hear.
She touches her nose with the back of one finger, and then brings her glare up to me as she continues brushing that finger across her nostrils. Sniffling. “What do I want to go home for? So I can be a has-been at twenty-two like you?”
“I’d rather be a has-been than nothing at all. What are you accomplishing now? Don’t you want to finish college?”
“No, that’s what you wanted to do, Brooke. I want to have fun.”
“Really? And you’re having loads of it? Because I don’t even see your smile has any place on your face anymore. You might not like the fact that I failed to reach my dream as much as I do, but I am over that. I happen to like where I am now, Nora. It’s not where I planned to be, true, but I have so many other things. Better things. I have a great job, am working with amazing people, and I’m in the first relationship I’ve ever had in my life.”