2. They will try to tell you that it feels better without a condom. You just tell me where they live.
3. And relationships are supposed to make your life better. You don’t drag each other down. You hold each other up.
When we’re little, we think true love is Romeo and Juliet, together in life or together in death. They couldn’t stand not to have each other, and when you’re young it’s romantic to think of suicide as the answer. Better not to live at all, etc.
When you grow up, you realize that that’s bullshit. I mean, who really wins there, right?
Jax was happy to see me happy. I didn’t need him to survive, but I liked him. He made my life better. Happier. He also challenged me to grow.
Coming to the second floor and turning for his bedroom, I glanced behind me, noticing the padlock on the office door.
I walked into his bedroom, still uneasy about everything he’d done in my life without my knowledge. And everything he was doing. He was mistaken if he thought he was going to continue to keep an eye on me.
And the people who’d hurt him and what he’d done to them? I knew I should be nervous or even scared that he was capable of violence, but I knew he didn’t rush to react. The only thing I was worried about was how far Jax had to be pushed to do it. And would he do it again if he were pushed hard enough?
I didn’t fear being on the receiving end, but I didn’t want to worry about him in trouble, either.
I stopped in the middle of the bedroom, taking a minute to look at my surroundings. The only other time I’d been in here was the night he’d gotten in the fight on the front lawn. It had been dark and I hadn’t wasted time exploring. Now, as I looked around, my eyes fluttered at the warmth pooling in my stomach and farther down.
His bedroom.
Everything was dark. I loved how the cherrywood furniture made the black bedding and curtains seem warm. And with the drapes drawn and a small lamp lighting the desk in the corner, the whole room glowed like an old chapel, lush and elegant with its carved furniture but cozy and secluded as if it were some room lost in the middle of a thousand other rooms buried deep in a mansion, never to be discovered.
I felt as though if we closed the door, I’d never want to leave. I’d never want to be found.
Jax had a king-size bed, and I instantly sucked in a breath at the thoughts of him. There. With me. For hours.
Running my hand down his dresser, I savored the cool, smooth wood beneath my fingertips, reminding me of him. His skin, so fluid but so hard under my fingers, and I closed my eyes as the desire swamped me.
My chest rose and fell hard, and I reached up, running a hand over one of my breasts. My core started pulsating, and I touched the hard flesh of my nipple.
Jax.
Warmth hit my back, and I opened my mouth to speak but was cut off.
“Don’t open your eyes.”
I could hear the smile in his voice.
He was behind me, his breath warm on my neck. His musk scent made me want to bury my nose in his skin and crush my chest to his. I kept my hand on my breast, but my head started floating away from me.
“I’d rather be touching you.” I smiled, keeping my eyes closed.
“You still like me?” he asked.
“Yes.”
“Good,” he replied calmly. “I like you, too.”
“I know.”
I felt his laugh on my shoulder and leaned my head back against him as I reached behind me and took his hands, placing them on my breasts.
He instantly cupped them and started moving them in circles.
“You’re so incredible,” he said, nipping at my earlobe. “I look at you, and I can’t think about anything else beyond having you.”
And he took a hand off my breast and grabbed hold between my legs.
“Oh, my God,” I groaned, excited at the possessive feel of his hand there. Touching me. Taking it. “Jax,” I gasped.
“Fucking mine,” he whispered in my ear.
“Yes.” I licked my dry lips, panting.
His hand got more demanding, urging my whole body backward flush with his as he rubbed me hard and kneaded my breast.
“I have lots of fantasies about you, Juliet.”
I heard the edge to his voice. The one that told me he was trying not to lose control.
“Lots of different ways I want to see your body move,” he said. “And I want to do lots of it tonight.”
It sounded like a warning. A warning I was definitely going to ignore.
I opened my eyes, seeing his head bowed down next to mine, staring at me with that fucking intensity as if I were his favorite toy.
His hands moved behind me, and the next thing I knew he’d unfastened his belt and yanked it free of the loops of his pants, startling me as it whipped through the air.
I laughed nervously.
“You okay?” he taunted, still holding the belt at his side.
I nodded, speaking softly. “That, um … it makes me …”
“What?”
I shifted my eyes, searching for the word. “A little excited?” I confessed.
His amused eyes narrowed. “She likes belts,” he said to himself. “Duly noted.”
My faced warmed, embarrassed, but I arched an eyebrow.
“We’re going to need water,” I advised. “I have my own fantasies, too, so hydrate.”
Pulling out of his grasp, I took him by the hand and led him to the bed. Sitting on the end with my feet on the floor, I put my hands on his hips, holding him in place in front of me and dropping my head back slowly to look up at him.
“Jax?” I whispered, smiling a small, playful smile. “I want to show you how good I can move.” I nipped soft and slow at the button of his pants. “I want you in my mouth.” I licked my lips, looking up at him and rubbing my cheek against his pants. “I want to taste you.” And I slipped my tongue out, licking his pants with the tip, watching his eyes flare and turn intense. “I want you down my throat.” I bared my teeth, nipping at the bulge in his pants. “I want you everywhere.”
He clasped my pigtails at the back of my head, and I continued to rub him with my face and lips, feeling him grow thick and hard through his pants.
I loved watching him watch me. His abs flexing, his thick biceps tightening, his nipple rings gleaming at me, and even though I wanted that body all over me, I loved this view. I could appreciate his beauty, touch him where I wanted, make him feel good …
And that was what I wanted. I wanted to know that I made him feel good.
Moving slowly, I unfastened his pants and slid my fingers under the waistband, gently pulling down his clothes.
I could feel my eyes widen, seeing his erection spring free, standing hard, full, and ready for me.
I knew it was long. I’d felt him through his pants before. But the thickness kind of shocked me.
He wasn’t my first—even though I wished he had been—but I couldn’t say it was fair to compare him to Liam, either. Jax felt so much better. They were on different planets.
He started running his fingers back and forth in my hair, and I looked up at him and wetted my lips.
“I want it.” I darted out my tongue and licked his tip. Again and again, so slow, enjoying the hot taste of him.
His head dropped back. “Oh, fuck, Juliet,” he murmured, gripping my pigtails tighter. “More.”
I took him in my hand, running my palm up and down his shaft as I sucked his tip into my mouth, getting him wet.
And then I dived down, taking him to the back of my throat and holding his hips.
I held him there, trying to ease down and take it all. I wanted him to love this, and I wanted to give it to him. It was almost funny. I never liked doing this for Liam, because it had felt like an obligation. I wanted to keep him, so when my heart wasn’t in it, he could tell.
But I really wanted to do this for Jax.
I moaned, already so wet from just the idea of him in my mouth, filling me up thick and hard.
I worked him up and down, taking him in slowly, knowing that if I eased into it, I could take him all the way, and then back out, running my tongue back and forth on the underside of him.
“Baby, you feel so good,” I groaned, licking him from base to tip, and then taking him back into my mouth.
“Juliet,” he gasped, his faced pinched as I started bobbing up and down on him faster and faster. “What are you doing to me?”
His hands stroked my face, and I looked up, locking eyes with him. Dragging my lips slowly off his cock, I teased the tip with my tongue, holding his gaze as I licked, kissed, sucked, and nipped.
And when I lifted up his cock and sucked the flesh underneath into my mouth, he cried out.
“Fuck, baby,” he exclaimed, pulling away from me and looking at me as if I had done something wrong.
“Wh … ,” I choked out. “Wh-what’s wrong?” My clit was throbbing so hard, and I groaned, rubbing my thighs together.
What the hell?
“Nothing’s wrong,” he barked, yanking his clothes completely off and standing there erect and ready.
I stood up. “Then why did you stop me?”
He pulled me into him, crushing our bodies together and growling with his mouth an inch from my lips. “Because I don’t want to come that way yet. I wanted to make love to you in a bed tonight. Slowly,” he said, holding me firm.
“You liked it, didn’t you?” I pressed.