The boy everyone sees but nobody knows is with the girl who everybody knows but nobody sees.
There’s no plan, no pattern, and while every part of me that relies on rational thought to make my decisions screams in protest, the part I hardly ever lead with, the part that has never led the way before...my heart...it takes a stand. “That works for me, too.”
RAZOR
IT’S MONDAY AND I’m playing a mixed-up version of hide-and-seek. Breanna said she hangs in the library before school, but she was nowhere to be seen near the tables at the front where everyone else is. But as Breanna’s proved time and again, she’s not like the rest of the sheep in this herd.
We kissed this weekend and made a lot of nondecisions. Since the moment I dropped her off a block from where she lived, I’ve been dying to see her again...to touch her again.
I cut down the first row of stacks, take a right and spot Breanna sitting on the floor with her legs stretched out and an open book in her lap. Her long midnight hair has fallen forward, shielding her mood from me. Once again, she’s in a skirt, but today she has a white button-down sweater over her blue top.
We’re alone and it’s what I want. This plan will work only if Kyle thinks Breanna’s abandoned me for him. I’m not surprised by the lack of people. She’s loitering in the 500’s. Doubt anyone is eager for early-morning reading on quantum physics. “Hey.”
“Hey.” Breanna brightens. She closes her book and I readjust my footing when I catch the title. She was reading about quantum physics. Should have guessed Breanna would be the exception to the rule. She often causes me to feel...unworthy.
I fail at masking my thoughts and Breanna places both of her hands over the title of the book before glancing away. I’m such a fucking ass. “You’re still cool.”
“You looked at me like I’m suffering from leprosy and my nose is dangling from my face. I’ve been well versed in that expression since seventh grade, so don’t bother lying to me.”
I edge near her. “What you saw was me feeling bad about myself.” Wondering what’s wrong with me that I can’t be more like her. “People take their insecurities out on the thing or person that makes them feel threatened.”
She rolls her eyes. “Whatever.”
“Like everyone else in this damn town, I wish I had a quarter of what’s in your head. You have a gift that makes people scared there’s something wrong with them because they’re nothing like you.” Being a child of the Terror, I’m also well versed in taking the brunt of people’s fear.
She rolls her eyes again and I ignore her attitude. “Tell me something you’ve learned.”
I stare at her. She stares at me. When it’s clear I could do this all day, she caves. “Well...did you know if you removed the empty space from atoms, you could fit all of humanity into a sugar cube and that there are things that can travel faster than the speed of light and that light sometimes travels slower than...well...the speed of light?”
I had no clue. “Nope.”
“Now you do, and so do I, so if we run out of things to talk about, then we have that.”
I crouch next to her and realize how weird the smile on my face feels. The first couple weeks of smiling, I didn’t know I was doing it, but now that I’ve been continuing, I notice. Maybe because I’m exerting muscles that have been frozen for too long. “Humans suck and light has traffic issues—I’m keeping up. Any reason for your choice of reading material?”
She squishes her lips to the side as she fiddles with the zipper of her pack. “I was curious if time travel was possible. Stupid, I know, but it was either that or redoing a crossword puzzle I had already done, which doesn’t help much with the itch in my brain.”
“Why time travel?”
She tilts her head as if I should already know and my gut twists.
“Do you wish you never met me?” I ask.
“No,” she rushes out. “Not at all. It’s Kyle I’d like to dissect from my life.”
The peace she always brings unbalances me. I settle my hand over hers, which is fidgeting with the bag. “I’m glad we met, too.”
I look into her eyes for one second. Another. Breanna’s searching my face longer than anyone I have known and it’s not for a battle of dominance. It’s as if she honestly likes what she sees. I hope she finds something redeemable in me, because I like what I see in her.
A thump. Breanna jumps and withdraws her hand from mine. I stand and survey the area. Someone must have dropped a book a few rows over. I’m stupid for letting down my guard in public. There’s a reason why I sought her out so early. “Kyle’s been busy on his phone.”
Breanna beams. “And?”
“I found your picture on his cell, his home computer, and I’ve figured out four of the five people in his group.” It helped that I knew two names instead of one.
She blows out a breath and her shoulders relax. “All of this from one computer virus.”
I nod. Pigpen taught me how to upload code from the internet and how to get it on people’s computers and phones so I have a back door to their network. So far, the code he sent me is complete magic.
Words to live by: never use public Wi-Fi. Protecting our clients means discovering who is after them and almost everyone leaves a digital trail for someone savvy enough to follow.
“You keep surprising me,” she says.
It’s nice to prove to Breanna that I also have a few smart tricks up my sleeve.