They all turned to look at Emily. And when Isaac burst into the room behind her and placed his arm on Emily’s bare shoulder, their eyes feasted on him, too.
It was as if an evil magic spell had stunned Emily into suspended animation. She’d thought she could handle her peers, but with everyone together like this…everyone who knew her secrets, everyone who had been there the day A circulated that picture of Emily and Maya kissing. It was just too much to take.
She couldn’t even look at Isaac when she turned around and shoved her way back out the library door. Noel and James were still leaning against the wall, passing a bottle of Patrón back and forth. “You’re back!” Noel cried gleefully. “Who’s that dude you’re with? If you’re playing for our team again, why didn’t you ask me out first?”
Emily bit her lip and kept her head down. She had to get out of here. She had to escape. But she couldn’t find Wilden, who could escort her back to her car, and she didn’t want to go outside alone. Then she saw the Hastingses’ powder room right off the kitchen. The door was slightly open, and the light was off. Emily scampered inside, but when she went to shut the door, someone’s foot was in the way.
Isaac pushed his way in. “Hey.” He sounded annoyed. “What is going on?”
Emily let out a small squeak and shot to the very corner of the room, her arms tightly around her chest. The powder room was bigger than most master baths, with a little seating area, an ornate mirror, and a separate room for the toilet. Underneath the heavy, cloying smell of the jasmine candle on the vanity was a slight tinge of vomit.
Isaac didn’t follow her to the corner. He remained by the door, his posture very straight and guarded. “You’re acting kind of…crazy,” he said.
Emily settled down on the peach-colored chaise and picked at a tiny run in her stockings, too nervous to answer. Her secrets throbbed painfully inside of her.
“Are you embarrassed to be seen with me?” Isaac went on. “Is it because I told that Spencer girl my dad was the caterer? Should I not have said that?”
Emily pressed her palms to her eyes. She couldn’t believe Isaac thought her weird behavior was his fault. Again. A feeling of dread slowly settled down around her shoulders like a sheet. Even if she managed to divert this disaster, there would be another one, and another one. And finally, at the end of all that, there would be A…Ian. And now that Ian had escaped, he was capable of anything. Let this be a warning, he’d written after Maya had shown up at the Chinese restaurant. Ian had Emily right where he wanted her.
Unless she made things right.
Emily looked up at Isaac, her throat tight. She just had to get this over with quick, like pulling off a Band-Aid. “Do you remember that girl in China Rose?” she blurted out. Isaac looked at her blankly, shrugging. Emily took a deep breath. “She and I used to be…a couple.”
Everything else tumbled out at lightning speed. She talked about how she’d kissed Ali in her tree house in seventh grade. And how she’d fallen for Maya instantly, intoxicated by her banana gum. Emily explained the A notes, how she’d tried to date Toby Cavanaugh to prove to herself that she liked guys, how a picture of her and Maya kissing had been passed around at a swim meet, and how the whole school knew. She told Isaac about Tree Tops, the g*y-away program her parents had forced her into, and that the real reason she’d gone to Iowa was because her parents couldn’t accept her sexuality. She also said she’d met a girl named Trista in Iowa and had kissed her, too.
When she finished, she glanced up at Isaac. He looked green and was tapping one foot steadily and nervously…or maybe angrily.
Emily lowered her head. “I understand if you don’t ever want to speak to me again. I didn’t want to hurt you, though—I just thought you’d hate me if you knew. But even though I didn’t tell you all this, everything I told you about how I felt about you, that I wanted you to be my boyfriend, that I really liked you, all of that—it’s all true. I thought it wasn’t possible for me to like a guy, but I guess it is.”
The little room was silent. Even the party seemed to have quieted down. Isaac ran his hands along the edge of his tie. “So, does this mean you’re…bi? Or what?”
Emily dug her nails into the chaise’s plushy silk cushions. It would be so much easier if she just said she was straight, and that the stuff that had happened with Maya and Ali and Trista had been confused mistakes. But she knew that wasn’t true.
“I don’t know what I am,” Emily answered quietly. “I wish I did, but I don’t. Maybe I just like…people. Maybe it’s the person, not necessarily their gender.”
Isaac’s eyes lowered. He let out a small, deflated sigh. When Emily heard him turn, her chest throbbed with despair. In seconds, Isaac would turn the knob, walk out the door, and be gone forever. Emily pictured Isaac’s mother standing in the front doorway, eagerly wanting to know how their fairy-tale date had gone. Her face would fall when Isaac told her the truth. Emily’s a what? she’d gasp.
“Hey.” Hot breath tickled the top of her head. Isaac loomed above her, an unreadable expression on his face. Without saying a word, he wrapped his arms around her. “It’s okay.”
“W-what?” Emily gasped.
“It’s okay,” he repeated quietly. “And I accept it. I accept you.”
Emily blinked in disbelief. “You…do?”
Isaac shook his head. “Honestly? It’s kind of a relief. I thought you were acting crazy because of me. Or because you already had a boyfriend.”