"I heard. I'm sorry," she says gently. "Would you like an herbal tea or something?"
"I'd like a glass of white wine."
Mrs. Jones pauses for a fraction of a second, and I remember the Blip. Now I can't drink alcohol. Can I? I must study the dos and don'ts Dr. Greene gave me.
"I'll get you a glass."
"Actually, I'll have a cup of tea, please." I wipe my nose. She smiles kindly.
"Cup of tea coming up." She clears our plates and heads over to the kitchen area. I follow her and perch on a stool, watching her prepare my tea.
She places a steaming mug in front of me. "Is there anything else I can get for you, Ana?"
"No, this is fine, thank you."
"Are you sure? You didn't eat much."
I gaze up at her. "I'm just not hungry."
"Ana, you should eat. It's not just you anymore. Please let me fix you something. What would you like?" She looks so hopefully at me. But really, I can't face anything.
My husband has just walked out on me because I'm pregnant, my father has been in a major car accident, and there's Jack Hyde the nutcase trying to make out that I sexually harassed him. I suddenly have an uncontrollable urge to giggle. See what you've done to me, Little Blip! I caress my belly.
Mrs. Jones smiles indulgently at me. "Do you know how far you are?" she asks softly.
"Very newly pregnant. Four or five weeks, the doctor isn't sure."
"If you won't eat, then at least you should rest."
I nod, and taking my tea, I head into the library. It's my refuge. I dig my BlackBerry out of my purse and contemplate calling Christian. I know it's a shock for him - but he really did overreact. When does he not overreact? My subconscious arches a finely plucked brow at me. I sigh. Fifty Shades of f**ked up.
"Yes, that's your daddy, Little Blip. Hopefully he'll cool off and come back . . . soon."
I pull out the leaflet of dos and don'ts and sit down to read. I can't concentrate. Christian's never walked out on me before. He's been so thoughtful and kind over the last few days, so loving and now . . . Suppose he never comes back? Shit! Perhaps I should call Flynn. I don't know what to do. I'm at a loss. He's so fragile, in so many ways, and I knew he'd react badly to the news. He was so sweet this weekend. All those circumstances way beyond his control, yet he managed fine. But this news was too much.
Ever since I met him, my life has been complicated. Is it him? Is it the two of us together? Suppose he doesn't get past this? Suppose he wants a divorce? Bile rises in my throat. No. I mustn't think this way. He'll be back. He will. I know he will. I know in spite of all the shouting and his harsh words he loves me . . . yes. And he'll love you, too, Little Blip.
Leaning back in my chair, I start to doze.
I wake cold and disorientated. Shivering I check my watch; eleven in the evening. Oh yes . . . You. I pat my belly. Where's Christian? Is he back? Stiffly I ease out of the armchair and go in search of my husband. Five minutes later, I realize he's not home. I hope nothing's happened to him. Memories of the long wait when Charlie Tango went missing flood back.
No, no, no. Stop thinking like this. He's probably gone to . . . where? Who would he go and see? Elliot? Or maybe he's with Flynn. I hope so. I find my BlackBerry back in the library, and I text him.
*Where are you?*
I head into the bathroom and run myself a bath. I am so cold.
He still hasn't returned when I climb out of the bath. I change into one of my 1930s-style satin nightdresses and my robe and head to the great room. On the way, I pop into the spare bedroom. Perhaps this could be Little Blip's room. I am startled by the thought and stand in the doorway, contemplating this reality. Will we paint it blue or pink? The sweet thought is soured by the fact that my husband is so pissed at the idea and is absent. Grabbing the duvet from the spare bed, I head into the great room to keep vigil.
Something wakes me. A sound.
"Shit!"
It's Christian in the foyer. I hear the table scrape across the floor again.
"Shit!" he repeats, more muffled this time.
I scramble up in time to see him stagger through the double doors. He's drunk. My scalp prickles. Shit, Christian drunk? I know how much he hates drunks. I leap up and run toward him.
"Christian, are you okay?"
He leans against the jamb of the foyer doors. "Mrs. Grey," he slurs. Crap. He's very drunk. I don't know what to do.
"Oh . . . you look mighty fine, Anastasia."
"Where have you been?"
He puts his fingers to his lips and smiles crookedly at me. "Shh!"
"I think you'd better come to bed."
"With you . . ." He snickers.
Snickering! Frowning, I gently put my arm around his waist because he can hardly stand, let alone walk. Where has he been? How did he get home?
"Let me help you to bed. Lean on me."
"You are very beautiful, Ana." He leans onto me and sniffs my hair, almost knocking both of us over.
"Christian, walk. I am going to put you to bed."
"Okay," he says as if he's trying to concentrate.
We stumble down the corridor and finally make it into the bedroom.
"Bed," he says, grinning.
"Yes, bed." I maneuver him to the edge, but he holds me.
"Join me," he says.
"Christian, I think you need some sleep."
"And so it begins. I've heard about this."
I frown. "Heard about what?"
"Babies mean no sex."
"I'm sure that's not true. Otherwise we'd all come from one-child families."
He gazes down at me. "You're funny."