But as I stared at his hand, I also realized that I didn’t want him to just be the father of our child. I wanted to find the rest of those puzzle pieces and figure him out. I wanted to know what it felt like to be kissed by him, and I wanted to know what it felt like to actually . . . make love with him. This sudden need went deeper than the physical.
I wanted him to mean more to me.
I wanted to mean more to him.
Yes, getting pregnant was what really brought us back together, but it didn’t have to be the only reason.
Carefully, I shifted so I was on my back. His hand remained where it was, splayed across my lower stomach, the weight comforting. A moment passed and his thumb moved in a slow circle, a very slow and precise circle, just below my navel.
Nick was awake.
I lifted my chin, and my gaze locked with a sleepy, light green eye. My pulse kicked up as his thumb continued to move, now in a half circle. I drew in a deep breath as my body really started to wake up and get on board with the closeness. The tips of my breasts tightened, straining against the soft cups of my bra. With each breath I took, the arousal grew and I became painfully aware of it.
“Mornin’,” Nick said, his voice abrasive with sleep.
I repeated the greeting, but I barely heard it. I was too busy staring at him. A faint shadow covered his jaw. His hair was a disheveled mess, the short ends standing up in every direction, and the slight smile on his face gave him quite the boyish look.
Clearing my thoughts, I focused on something to say and then stated the obvious. “I fell asleep.”
“You did.” Humor filled his eyes as he lifted his head, twisting it side to side as if he was working out a kink.
“You stayed.”
His gaze slowly glided over my face as he settled back down. “I did. You were just too cozy and warm to leave. You mad about that?”
“No.” Quite the opposite. “I didn’t mean to fall asleep.”
“I didn’t mind. I liked this.”
My heart started doing this little dance in my chest. “But what about your grandfather?”
“I texted the nurse. She stayed. Needed the overtime, I guess, because she was really happy about it.”
I lowered my gaze. “I hope that didn’t cost you a lot.”
“It didn’t.”
That couldn’t be entirely true. In-home nurses had to charge a pretty penny, but I was pleased that he stayed. Really pleased.
“By the way,” he drawled. “You snore.”
My eyes flew to him. “What?”
“Yep.” He grinned down at me. “You sound like a baby chain saw.”
“I do not snore!”
His gaze was hooded. “How would you know? You’re asleep.”
I opened my mouth to protest, but he was right, how would I know? I never slept with a guy, not even the one I dated in high school, and while I was in college, my roommate had a habit of sleeping with ear buds in. Oh my God, maybe that was why she did that.
“Do I really snore?”
He looked serious for all about two seconds and then chuckled. “No. You don’t snore. I was lying.”
“You ass!” I screwed up my face as I smacked his arm. “Here I was thinking I actually sounded like a chain saw.”
“A baby chain saw,” he corrected.
“Whatever,” I muttered, fighting a grin.
His grin was easy as he lifted his hand from my belly and scooped a strand of hair that had escaped my braids, brushing it back from my face. “Come on, you would’ve had to know if you snored or not. Some guy would’ve told you.”
“I’ve never actually slept with a guy,” I admitted. “So it could’ve been possible.”
He lowered his hand, placing it back on my stomach. “So I’m your first.”
“At something,” I remarked.
“I’ll take it.”
I grinned. “I think you need to shoot higher.”
“Babe, you have no idea how high I’m shooting right now.”
My breath caught. “Tell me.”
Our gazes held for a moment and then his lashes lowered, shielding his eyes. A small smile played over his lips as he spread his fingers across my stomach. I felt his chest move with a deep breath.
“I want to do something,” he said as his hand inched farther south. “But I don’t think you’re going to let me.”
I curled my hand against the side of the couch. “Depends on what it is.”
“Hmm.” His fingers closed around the band of my sweats. “I want to touch you.”
Oh God.
My pulse tripped all over itself as he tugged on my bottoms. It felt like my tongue was glued to the roof of my mouth.
He lowered his head just slightly and I felt his breath dance against my cheek. “I want to feel you come around my fingers.”
There was a good chance that my heart stopped as I shifted. I felt him then, hard against my thigh.
“I know things are . . . different right now,” he said, those lips brushing the curve of my cheek as he spoke. “And I thought I didn’t want to complicate things, but I’ve got to be real honest with you, I want to get all up in that complication. I want to get all up in you.” The grip on my sweats loosened. “So are you going to make my morning?”
My chest rose and fell rapidly. For a brief moment I thought that Nick and I had a habit of doing things ass backward—sex first, then baby, and now some heavy petting, all before a date? Well, we did have a date last Sunday. Kind of?
The heat in my veins and the dampening between my thighs told the voice in my head to shut the hell up.