Jessie stared back at her sister, willing her to remember all the horror stories she’d told about the men in her past. When Kylie merely encouraged her to continue with that unrelenting look she had perfected, Jessie said, “Ever since Mike, I haven’t wanted to be in a relationship.”
“I can sort of understand that,” Kylie replied. “But you have to remember, Mike was an asshole.”
He was. She wouldn’t argue that point.
“I’m just not sure I understand why you think you can map this out.”
“I fall in love too much,” Jessie said shrilly. “God, Ky. Starting back with the first guy I kissed in high school, every man who’s paid me any attention, I’ve fallen in love with.”
“Love? Are you sure it was love?”
“What else could it be?” Jessie argued. “And ever since him, I’ve fallen into one long-term relationship after another. I’m not looking for long-term now.”
“So you’re telling me that because you haven’t been promiscuous, you think you shouldn’t be in a relationship?”
“No, that’s not what I’m saying.” Jessie tossed her hands up in defeat.
“Then what are you saying?”
“First there was Gary,” Jessie explained. “I fell for him and he ran off with that blond chick who he said gave good head.”
Kylie snorted. “Yes, I can certainly see why you’d want to use that one as the basis for all of your future endeavors. Come on, Jess, that guy was a prick.”
“Not the point. Then there was Erik. He was a loser. He wanted me to move in with him so he could quit his job.”
“Yep, I remember him all too well.” Kylie sighed.
“And then Mike. I have a horrible track record with men. After what I let Mike do—”
“Hold on a minute,” Kylie interrupted, her face stricken with anger. “You didn’t let Mike do anything. No woman lets a man hit her. Regardless, Jess,” Kylie said, placing her hand on Jessie’s arm. “What he did was wrong and he should’ve been punished for it.”
“I know.” Jessie hung her head in shame. “I still let it happen. Because I loved him.”
“Bullshit,” Kylie countered heatedly. “I’m not buying that shit for a minute, Jess. We all make mistakes. We’re human. But for you to punish yourself because you’ve had some crappy boyfriends in the past doesn’t make any sense. You can’t pretend that you don’t have feelings for someone just because you want it to be true.”
“But I do want it to be true. I went into this with Brendon and Braydon without expectations. I didn’t want any promises from them, and I wasn’t giving any in return. And look what happened.”
“What did happen? You never explained what went down between you and Braydon,” Kylie stated, her tone gentle once again.
Jessie wasn’t letting go of her anger quite so quickly. Her retort contained a little more bite. “Nothing happened. Braydon left; Brendon told me to get lost. I did. The rest is history.”
“Again, I call bullshit,” Kylie said, the heat lacking in her tone.
Jessie stared at her sister, needing to tell someone her secret. Then maybe they would understand how she’d managed to screw it all up.
“I had sex with them,” Jessie whispered.
Kylie tilted her head, studying Jessie.
“With Braydon and Brendon.”
“I figured that. The three of you—”
Jessie cut her sister off. “No, not the three of us. Don’t you get it? I screwed up. I had sex with them again even after Braydon said he was done. He didn’t want it anymore.”
“Oh,” Kylie offered, obviously understanding.
“Braydon left. Now they both hate me.”
“They don’t hate you,” Kylie informed her.
“Sure they do. Brendon hasn’t talked to me in months, and we’ve seen each other almost every weekend.”
“Brendon’s been worried about you,” Kylie told her, causing Jessie to jerk her attention to her sister.
“What are you talking about? He kicked me out of the house the day we found out that Braydon left. If he gives a crap, he has a horrible way of showing it.”
“He asks about you all the time,” Kylie admitted. “I knew something had happened, but when I tried to get you to talk, you always shut down. So I didn’t mention it.”
“It’s for the best,” Jessie said. “Really. What was happening between us was just physical. Just sex.”
“So, what? You’re crying because you’re sexually frustrated?” Kylie asked sardonically.