“I’m the one who owes you an apology. I fucked up. And I’m not looking for your fucking pity. I don’t know what’s got into me lately.” Brendon paused and looked down at his hands before continuing. “I owe Jessie an apology, too.”
“Yeah, you do,” Braydon agreed sternly. “And if I ever find out that you try to use her again, it’ll be my fist you run into.”
Brendon looked up at that, but he didn’t argue. Braydon saw the misery on his twin’s face.
“Did you ever think we’d get to this point?”
“What point’s that?” Braydon replied.
“The point where we’re going our separate ways.”
Braydon didn’t like the way Brendon said that. It was as though he expected things to change completely. “I’m not going anywhere,” Braydon said.
“You did,” Brendon argued, a hint of frustration in his tone. “Do you know how fucking hard it was when you were gone? I felt so fucking lost. But I think I needed it. It got me thinking.”
Braydon waited for him to continue.
“I realized that I’ve been running both of our lives for so long. I didn’t stop to think about the fact that things are changing between us.”
“They don’t have to.”
“They do,” Brendon countered. “You’re in love with Jessie. How that happened, I don’t fucking know, but I get it. I do. I tried to come between the two of you. No matter what you think, it was because I was jealous. And then there’s Cheyenne. She’s fucking with my head.”
“She is?”
“Well, not intentionally, no. I can’t stop thinking about her.” Brendon dropped his head into his hands, his elbows resting on his splayed knees. “She doesn’t want anything to do with me.”
“I doubt that.”
“It’s true,” Brendon said, his voice somewhat muffled as he hung his head. “And I get to take the blame for that as well. I pushed her when I should’ve left well enough alone.”
“Did something happen between you two?” Braydon inquired.
“No. Doesn’t mean I didn’t want it to. I just didn’t go about it the right way.”
“Have you talked to her? Or, you know, apologized?”
“Hell no. That’d be the right thing to do. I’m long past doin’ what’s right.” Brendon laughed gruffly, dropping his hands and leaning back to look at Braydon. “I’m too busy trying to make things worse between us. Every time I see her . . . God, when I’m around her, I’m just so fucked-up in the head. She makes me want things that I don’t fucking want.”
“Like?”
“Her.”
“You want her but you don’t want her?”
“Yeah. Somethin’ like that.”
It was Braydon’s turn to laugh. Brendon was making absolutely no sense.
“Did you get a chance to talk to Jessie last night?” Brendon asked, flipping the topic, of course.
“A little.”
“Y’all gonna work things out?”
Braydon didn’t know how to answer that. He didn’t know what Brendon expected to hear, and the last thing he wanted was to add to his stress.
“It’s okay, man. I’m not gonna lose my shit. At least not again.”
“I’m taking her out today.”
“Out? Like a real date?”
“Yeah,” Braydon answered tentatively.
“Where?”
“Hell if I know.” Braydon had given it considerable thought, but he hadn’t come up with a plan yet. He wanted to abide by Jessie’s request to take things slow, but he also fully intended to show her just how much he had been holding back.
“Does she know?” Brendon asked.
Braydon stared at his twin, the confusion contorting his face. “Know what?”
“That you want to fuck her blind?”
Braydon chuckled. “Yeah. I’m pretty sure she knows.”
“She’s messed up, man,” Brendon finally said as they stared at each other.
Braydon’s back went ramrod straight.
“Not like that,” Brendon clarified. “She’s had it rough. I don’t pretend to know everything there is about her, but we’ve talked. Some. She’ll be the first to tell you that she’s got a shitty track record with men.”
Braydon’s eyebrow cocked as he waited for more details.
Brendon sighed. “I didn’t actually hear this from her. Kylie told me that she’s been in an abusive relationship in the past. When I tried to find out more, her sister didn’t elaborate. I never had the guts to ask Jessie.”