Pinning him with her gaze, Cheyenne took a deep breath. “Why’d you share women with Braydon?”
If Brendon was surprised by her question, he didn’t show it. Not so much as a muscle moved in his face. His blue-gray eyes were sharp as he watched her, and Cheyenne wished that she could read his thoughts.
“It was natural, I guess,” he said softly, his voice lowering along with his eyes. “It started with the first girl we kissed. She wanted to kiss us both. Even then, back in elementary, I couldn’t talk to women.”
Cheyenne interrupted. “I know you clearly believe you can’t talk to women, but I have to disagree.” Holding up her hand, she stopped him before he could say something. “That doesn’t mean I’m right, it’s just how I feel.”
Brendon nodded, glancing over at the table across from them and then back. “I don’t know if it was the women who dictated how that worked though. Ask my mother, she’ll tell you, I was always the one who needed Braydon. Apparently from the time I was born. As she tells it, I couldn’t be away from him. That’s been the hardest for me, I think. And the more time that passes, the more I realize that sharing women between us was simply another way I could keep him close.”
“Did Braydon feel the same way?” she asked, curious.
“He never complained.” A mischievous smirk replaced Brendon’s thoughtful expression.
“Of course he didn’t.” Cheyenne didn’t completely understand the appeal, but to hear Kylie tell it, there was definitely something to be desired about being with two men. Granted, Cheyenne could see why it intrigued Kylie, and even Travis and Gage, since they were in a ménage. But Brendon and Braydon merely shared the woman; they obviously weren’t together in any way.
“So tell me what happened when Jessie came along.” Cheyenne wasn’t sure she wanted to hear all about Brendon’s time with Jessie, but she really wanted to understand what changed with them both.
“I’m not sure I like where this is goin’,” Brendon told her, his eyes narrowing.
“I don’t want details, trust me,” Cheyenne informed him. “I’m merely curious. From what I can tell, Jessie and Braydon seem happy, yet they’re holdin’ back for some reason. I figure that reason is you.”
“Probably,” Brendon answered, once again his eyes lowered to the table. “I think Jessie’s worried that if they get married, I’m gonna plow into another tree or somethin’.”
“Are you?” she asked softly.
Brendon’s eyes darted up, landing directly on hers. He leaned forward slightly, his voice low when he said, “My issues never revolved around them bein’ together.”
“Then what did they revolve around?”
“You.”
The snap in his tone had Cheyenne sitting up, her eyes widening. She felt as though he’d slapped her. “Me? What did I do?”
“Not a damn thing,” he grumbled. “And that was the problem.”
“I’m not sure I understand.”
“Just like Braydon found with Jessie, I was confused about what I … felt for you. Although it seemed natural because it’s all I’ve ever known, I really didn’t want to share you.”
“No? So why’d you offer?”
“Oh, back then I definitely wanted to share you,” he said, his voice softening once again. “I wanted to sandwich you between us and fuck you senseless.”
The desire in his gaze was so obvious, Cheyenne swore she could feel the residual heat from across the table.
“But that wasn’t all I wanted from you, Chey. And I didn’t know how to process that.”
“And once Braydon did work things out with Jessie … ?” She knew that his demeanor had deteriorated since then.
“I was lonely.”
The words were so soft, Cheyenne hardly heard them. But she had. She had heard him and she wanted to jump in his lap and wrap her arms around him. Brendon wasn’t soft-hearted, he wasn’t easy, and he wasn’t in any way dependent on others. At least he’d like to think he wasn’t. But Cheyenne had seen the softer side of him a time or two. She knew, deep down, he just wanted what everyone else wanted.
And she wanted to be the one to give it to him.
FOR THE RECORD, Brendon fucking hated the topic of conversation. He’d inwardly cringed when Cheyenne threw out the first question and he still wanted to crawl inside himself and never come out. But he hadn’t taken the easy way out of this one, didn’t try to avoid her questions. She’d been right there to witness the hell he’d been through for the last year—a hell of his own making.