“You don’t want this,” Ethan repeated, his voice containing less anger and more confusion.
Risking a move in such a public place, although they were shielded by his oversized truck and the lack of lights in the parking lot, Beau placed one hand gently on Ethan’s hip. Tilting his head as he studied him, Beau kept his tone serious when he said, “I want this more than you’ll ever understand.”
Why that was, Beau had absolutely no idea, but he was drawn to Ethan in ways he’d never been drawn to anyone. Not even Zane. Sure, Zane was his best friend, the guy he had grown up with and yes, Beau cared for Zane, but what he felt for Ethan was different. Significantly.
And it wasn’t only about the physical draw either. Beau wanted to get to know Ethan on a deeper level. He wanted to find out what made the guy tick and what caused all of the angst he had built up inside of him. Hell, Beau wanted Ethan – all of him – good, bad, ugly and everything in between.
“Sex? You want to fuck? If that’s the case, I’m your guy.” Ethan’s words were threaded with venom, but his eyes were softer, as though getting the words out were painful but necessary.
Squeezing Ethan’s hip gently, Beau forced himself to remain where he was, wanting to wrap his arms around Ethan and hold him, but refusing to do so here.
“Let’s get out of here,” Beau offered. “Let’s go somewhere we can talk.”
“I don’t do the talking thing,” Ethan retorted.
Beau noticed Ethan was trying to distance himself, but he also realized Ethan wasn’t making any effort to pull away from him. The heat of his chest filled him with warmth, the smell of beer on his breath made Beau want to get closer, to inhale him completely until Ethan had no choice but to give in.
“With me, you can do the talking thing,” Beau assured him. “Come on.”
Considering Ethan had probably had a couple of beers, Beau felt better taking his own truck, so he nodded his head backward, gesturing toward it. “I’ll drive.”
He fully expected Ethan to balk at the request, but after a long moment, Ethan surprised them both by nodding his head, another strange expression on his face. Beau wasn’t willing to overanalyze it, he simply waited until Ethan took a step back and then around the front of the truck before climbing in.
So far. So good.
He only prayed the rest of the night was this easy.
Should’ve said no.
Should’ve said no.
Should’ve said no.
The words continued on a constant loop in Ethan’s head as he sat in Beau’s truck.
After they left Moonshiners, Beau was kind enough to make a pit stop at the convenience store to pick up a six pack of beer. Now they were heading to the lake, despite the weather and the fact that Ethan’s stomach was churning with nerves. He hated the lake. Absolutely hated it. In fact, he had only been back there once or twice since the incident with Gavin all those years ago. When Beau mentioned where they were headed, Ethan managed to bite his tongue. He’d have pretty much preferred to go anywhere else.
The truck finally slowed as they pulled into a narrow alcove that allowed them to park close to the water without having to get out. Even with the moon shining brightly overhead, the black water was barely visible when Beau killed the headlights.
It didn’t take long for the silence to become a heavy weight in the stifling truck, so Ethan grabbed one of the beers from the six pack sitting on the center console.
“So, what did you want to talk about?” Ethan asked testily once he had satisfied his thirst.
Beau shifted, his back pressing into the driver’s door as he angled himself to look at Ethan. The man made him nervous. And wasn’t that fucked up. Ethan didn’t do nervous. He didn’t give a shit enough to even be nervous. Yet with Beau, he felt like he had when…
No fucking way.
Ethan shook off the thought. He wasn’t going back there. He’d already relived part of the memory, he damn sure didn’t have it in him to go through more tonight. There wasn’t enough alcohol in the truck to get him to relive all of what happened that night.
“Being the strong silent type ain’t gonna get you many dates, Bennett,” Ethan said snidely, downing the rest of his beer.
“Dating isn’t high on my priority list at the moment.”
Well, there was a shocker.
“When did you realize you were gay?” Ethan asked suddenly, the question tumbling out of his mouth before he could think better of it.
Beau turned and looked out the front windshield for a moment before answering. “I’ve known for a while.”
“Have you dated a guy before?”