Where Curtis was supportive, Ben was critical. Where Curtis laughed with his boys, Ben frowned, never understanding the joke or the reason for so much happiness. And Beau’s mother, Arlene, was very much like her husband.
And now, considering the direction that Beau’s life had taken, the revelation he’d made about himself, he couldn’t imagine sharing his innermost secrets with his parents. He knew how they would react if he ever had the guts to tell them he was gay. After having spent a lifetime not caring what people thought of him, for some reason, Beau cared what they thought. Which meant their relationship would continue to be strained because Beau had no intention of letting them down again.
So, as long as they accepted him, Beau would continue to find comfort within the Walker family, celebrating their triumphs, mourning their losses and everything in between.
Beau turned and smiled like a fool as Zane approached. He refused to bring down the celebration, and he knew the first person who would suspect he was dwelling on thoughts better left alone was Zane.
“What’s up?” he asked casually, readjusting his stance, but not moving from his position against the wall.
Zane glanced around the room and then back at Beau like he was expecting someone to sneak up on him.
“You wanna grab something to eat?” Zane’s question was said in a conspiratorial whisper, which was a dead giveaway that the man was up to his mischievous ways.
“Why? Cafeteria food calling your name?” he asked Zane as he watched Braydon disappear out into the hallway again, Brendon and Jessie right on his heels.
“You know it,” he answered with a grin.
“Liar.”
Zane laughed.
Beau had known Zane long enough. Knew how his brain worked. And the last thing Zane was thinking about was hospital food. In fact, the way Zane was eyeing V, Beau knew he was craving something a lot more appetizing.
“Nah, I think I’m gonna hang here for a few more minutes. Then I’ve got to head into work. But I’ll catch up with y’all later. Maybe we can get a beer after work.” Beau declined the invitation to their rendezvous as nicely as he could.
Beau knew that Zane was still trying to lure him back into his relationship with V, from an extracurricular perspective at least. He couldn’t blame him, necessarily. The sex had been phenomenal. Especially at the end when… nope, not going there.
He understood Zane’s reasoning because the threesomes had been satisfying and interesting, and Beau might’ve been inclined to accept the offers had it not been for the fact that his life had changed dramatically ever since the night he had been with Zane. What happened between them had only solidified the reason for all of the confusion Beau had been living with in regards to his sexual orientation.
That night had changed him. It also clarified that what he felt for Zane, which he’d originally thought was more than friendship, was merely infatuation. Although he’d experimented, walking away from Zane and V had been easier than he thought. Mainly because it left him open to find what he’d been missing. Love. True love. Something that wasn’t only based on physical attraction.
Because Zane and V had found that deeper connection with one another, it hadn’t been a difficult decision for Beau to back out of the threesomes. In fact, it was easier to walk away than it would’ve been to deny himself the fulfillment he knew he would never find with them.
And with V’s support, Zane had backed off, but Beau knew his best friend was merely trying to keep things from becoming awkward between them. If Zane had picked up on Beau’s fascination with his brother Ethan, he might just be a little less worried. And maybe he had, but Zane wasn’t one to talk about those types of things.
Now that Beau had finally found his footing in the world, and V seemed to understand him, they were letting the significance of what they had all three shared before turn into a comfortable, platonic friendship. For that, Beau was thankful.
“Well, if you change your mind…” Zane let the sentence hang, but his attention was now fully on V.
“Go. Have fun. Maybe you can start with dessert.”
Zane turned back to face him, his blue-gray eyes glittering with devilish intent. “I think I might just do that.”
“Right. Like you hadn’t thought about that before.”
Zane slapped Beau on the shoulder. “You know me all too well, Bennett.”
That he did. He knew Zane better than just about anyone else.
“All right then,” Zane said, looking back at him, his expression turning serious. “If you’re sure you’re not hungry…”
Beau laughed. “I’m positive.”