“Yeah, let’s talk about this, Jake. You’ve been dodging me on this for five damn years, and it’s time you and I have this conversation.”
“I don’t want to talk about it,” I reply. “I just wanted to apologize for it.”
“I don’t want your fucking apology!” she shouts, slamming her hand on the table. “I want you to listen to me!”
I sit back, stunned. She’s never, never yelled at me before. Not like this.
“You’re so damn stubborn,” she mutters and takes a deep breath. “First of all, I want to know, what do you think it was that you said to me before the accident?”
“You know what I said. I told you that if you didn’t like the lifestyle I’d chosen you could get the fuck out of it. I didn’t need you.”
“No you didn’t.” She’s frowning, shaking her head. “Jake, I don’t remember much about the accident itself, but I remember everything about that conversation. You were drunk as fuck, and you might have been on something, who knows.”
I cringe.
“And I was lecturing you, telling you to grow the hell up. You were drinking too much, experimenting with drugs, fucking a lot of women. I was telling you to get a grip on your life.”
“And I told you to fuck off.”
“No. You didn’t. You didn’t say much of anything at all. Maybe you were saying those things in your head, but I couldn’t get you to say anything, so I told you I’d talk to you the next day after you sobered up, and I left. Jake, do you really think I’d let you tell me that you didn’t need me and to get out of your life? I’d have kicked your ass.”
I smirk, then sober up again. “It doesn’t matter, the end result was the same. You were upset at me, and because of that you got in that accident.”
“Bullshit.”
I throw my hands up in frustration. “Now who’s stubborn?”
“You wouldn’t listen to anyone, Jake. The accident wasn’t my fault. It wasn’t anyone’s fault. I was merging onto the freeway, and the car ahead of me lost a tire. It came bouncing straight at my car, hit me, and made me lose control. I was pinned in that car because a tire fell off, not because I was so upset at you that I lost control.”
What?
I blink at her for a moment, then stand up and pace away.
“Is that why you broke up the band, J? Because you thought that you’d somehow fuck up their lives too?”
“No,” I reply honestly. “That might have been part of it, but your accident messed me up, C. I couldn’t perform for a long time after it. It was a wake-up call for sure, and I’m thankful for that because it made me take a look at myself and cut out everything toxic in my life. A lot of those toxins were because of the band. But damn, I missed the music.”
“And now you have it again,” she replies. “You make a good living doing what you love and you get to perform for people too. It’s a pretty great gig.”
I nod.
“And you have Addie.”
“No, I don’t.”
But, oh God, how I want her.
“Do you love her?”
“More than I can tell you,” I reply immediately. “But I told her that I can’t do a relationship with her. I hurt us both pretty badly, C.”
“Well, then we’re just going to have to figure out a way for you to untell her. She brought the best of you back to life, Jake, and I don’t want to lose that again.”
I grin, hope blooming in my chest for the first time in a long time. “Do you think it’ll work?”
“Only one way to find out.”
Chapter Seventeen
Addison
I couldn’t hack it. Last night was the first night that Jake performed at Seduction since he decided to be a dirtbag and slice my heart open with a rusty knife.
Yes, I’ve become a bit dramatic over the past few days, but that’s exactly what it feels like. I feel bled out. I’m tired, probably because I’m not sleeping, and I’m weak, most likely because I can’t keep food down.
I’m just sad.
And that really pisses me off. I hate that he has that kind of power over me, that he’s affected my mood like this.
So he dumped me. So what? I mean, life goes on.
But last night, when he began playing “Sad,” one of my favorite Maroon 5 songs, I just couldn’t do it. I turned around, waved at Kat, and walked right out the back.
It’s bad enough that I’ve stayed away for the hour or two before he shows up to play so I don’t run into him before he takes the stage. Just the sound of his voice made me panic.
I have Jake PTSD.
“You’re not going to do that tonight,” I say to my reflection in the bathroom mirror as I check my lip gloss and smooth my hands down my high-waisted pencil skirt. “Jake brings in a lot of money every weekend. Like it or not, it’s best having him here for business.” I point at myself and narrow my eyes. “You’re a grown woman. You’re a professional. So pull up your big-girl panties and deal with it.”
“Is that working?” Riley asks as she comes out of the stall behind me.
“I think so.”
She smirks and washes her hands. “You don’t have to be here, Addie. The rest of us can handle it here.”
“I’ll be fine.”
“Addie—”
“This is my place too,” I interrupt her with a shake of my head. “I made the bad mistake of falling for an employee, and now I’m paying the consequences. Lesson learned.”