I turn to the twins. ‘You guys are awesome. No one else would have gone out to save those poor people on Alcatraz.’
‘Ain’t no big thing,’ says Dum, sauntering beside me.
‘Yeah, we save hundreds of people all the time,’ says Dee.
‘All the time,’ says Dum.
‘We were born for it.’
‘And sometimes we even turn down offers from women wanting to show us their gratitude.’ Dum struts beside me.
‘Once,’ says Dee, looking humble.
‘Yeah, okay, but if it happened once, that means it happened “sometimes,’’ says Dum.
‘Doesn’t matter that she was an eighty-year-old lady who looked like our granny,’ says Dee.
‘A chick’s a chick, man, regardless of her age. And an offer is an offer.’ Dum nods.
Dee leans over and whispers to me. ‘She offered to cook us Brussels sprouts, and we turned it down.’
‘She was heartbroken. Probably needed to find some lucky dude to pour her affections on the rebound.’
‘Rebound’s a bitch.’ Dee shakes his head.
‘Not that we’re ever going to know what that feels like.’
The twins bump fists like true champions.
‘And was Obi totally on board with the Alcatraz recue?’ I ask.
‘Yeah, okay, maybe Obi might have had a little something to do with it.’ Dee shrugs.
‘Not that we wouldn’t have gone ourselves to rescue those people barehanded, but you know, it was a teensy bit easier with Obi running the mission.’
‘Good to know he’s not a jerk to everyone.’
‘Actually, you’d be surprised at what a good guy he is,’ says Dee.
‘I can tell he hasn’t thrown you in jail and abused your sister like Frankenstein’s monster.’
‘He makes hard choices so the rest of us don’t have to,’ says Dum.
That shuts me up. Wasn’t I wishing for someone else to make the hard choices for me?
‘He’s human,’ says Dee. ‘He has flaws.’
‘That’s why we’re here,’ says Dum. ‘We make up for his imperfections.’
‘Don’t take it personally,’ says Dee. ‘He’d sell his firstborn, his parents, his cookie-baking grandmother, his one true love, both his arms, legs, and his right nut for a chance to get the human race back on track.’
‘He’s the most dedicated guy we know.’
‘And there’s no sacrifice that he would ask of any of us that he wouldn’t make himself.’
‘Who else can you count on when you’re chained up on an evil island like Alcatraz?’
They have a point. The Resistance was the only group that would even consider mounting a real rescue mission.
‘He’s a little like you, actually,’ says Dee.
That almost stops me in my tracks. ‘Like me? Obi and I don’t have anything in common.’
‘You’d be surprised,’ says Dum.
‘Stubborn, loyal, utterly driven to accomplish your mission.’
‘Basically, you’re both crazy heroes.’
‘And everybody thinks you’re both hot,’ says Dee.
I scoff. ‘Now I know you’re full of it.’
‘You’re seriously going to tell us you haven’t noticed the way guys look at you?’
‘What guys? What are you talking about?’
They exchange glances. ‘Girl,’ says Dee, ‘even before your latest stunt, you were becoming the most requested fighter of all our events. Butt-kicking girls have always been smokin’ hot, but in the postapocalyptic world we live in, the hottest thing around is a sword-wielding, angel-slaying, foulmouthed—’
‘I’m not foulmouthed.’
‘Yeah, well, nobody’s perfect,’ says Dum.
‘How did you hear about this hypothetical teen girl killing an angel? Not that I’m saying I believe in such a wacky story or anything.’
‘The angels put a bounty on this hypothetical girl’s head. Anyone who turns this angel slayer in to them will get safe passage from them. Even Obi didn’t get that. His bounty is puny compared to this girl’s.’
‘Word is spreading like wildfire,’ says Dum. ‘There are crazy stories about her being able to control angel swords and even commanding demons. Everybody’s excited. Half the people are looking for you – I mean, her – to turn you in for safe passage, and the other half are toasting you with their last beer. A lot of people are doing both.’
‘So watch your back,’ says Dee. ‘Whether it was you or not, people think it was you, and that may be enough to get you killed.’
‘What with your teddy bear sword and history with demons and all.’ Dum raises his brows at me.
‘It was you, wasn’t it?’ asks Dee, squinting at me.
‘Just between us of course,’ says Dum.
‘We’d never tell.’ They’re freakishly identical when they say the same thing together.
A part of me is dying to talk about it. But the smarter part of me says, ‘Oh, sure. Didn’t I tell you I could kill angels and command demons? I can fly too, but don’t tell anyone.’
‘Uh-huh.’ They look at me, watching my face for clues.
I scan my mind for a change of subject. ‘You guys seem to be doing a good job here.’
They keep eyeing me as if not sure whether to let me get away from the topic.
‘I mean, it must be hard to build a refugee camp while running a resistance army at the same time.’
‘Obi’s been trying to do it all, but we finally managed to get a council together to help him run some of the logistics. Oh, man, so many logistics.’
‘And all because you had to go for a little joyride, and then give Obi an excuse to be the hero. Speaking of which, how was your bus ride?’
‘Yeah, the last time we saw you, you were sending us love notes from your little bus jail.’
‘We thought about busting you out, but Obi thought it was more important to get those people off Alcatraz.’
‘We wouldn’t have agreed if we’d known your mom was there.’
‘Pain in the ass, let me tell ya.’
‘You don’t need to tell me,’ I say. ‘I know all about what a pain she can be.’
Dee laughs. ‘She’s like a weapons-grade pain in the ass. We figured out to sic her on the bad guys, and she became a huge asset.’