But Pooky Bear made me special. I was more than just a girl with it. I was an angel killer.
‘She missed you,’ I say.
He hesitates, just looking at the sword. He hasn’t touched her since he got his wings back.
When he takes her, his hands are gentle. He holds her out in his palms for a heartbeat. We both wait to see if the sword will accept him back.
When she doesn’t drop to the ground, he closes his eyes in relief. His unguarded expression makes me understand that he hadn’t made a move to take her back because he wasn’t sure if she would accept him.
All those years when he was alone, he had nothing but his sword for company. I hadn’t fully understood how hard it must have been for him to lose her.
It’s good to see him happy, but it’s bittersweet. ‘Goodbye, Pooky Bear.’ I stroke my fingers along the sheath.
Raffe pulls off the stuffed bear with its wedding-veil dress. ‘I’m sure she wants you to have this.’ He smiles.
I take it and hug the bear to my side. The fur is soft but doesn’t feel right without its steel core beneath my hands.
We reach the truck, and I slide into the driver’s seat. Raffe looks into my open window as if he has something more to say. The dried fruit the Pit lord gave him swings back and forth below that vulnerable spot between his collar bones as he leans toward me.
He gives me a kiss.
It’s slow and silky, and it makes me melt all over. He caresses my face, and I tilt my head into his touch.
Then he steps away.
He opens his beautiful snowy wings and takes off into the air to meet his Watchers.
Chapter 48
I watch Raffe and his soldiers head toward the aerie along the blue sky and wonder what will happen there. A part of me wants to see this contest, while another part wants to run and hide. It’s bound to be violent. And I’m not sure I could handle watching, knowing Raffe’s team is the underdog.
I take the wheel, still preoccupied. Before I can start the engine, Mom curls up on the seat like a girl and lays her head on my lap. She rubs my leg as if reassuring herself that I’m really here.
Her breathing becomes deep and steady as she falls asleep. How long has it been since she slept? Between worrying over Paige and me, she hasn’t had much chance to rest. I’ve been so obsessed with finding Paige and keeping her safe that I haven’t had much room for Mom.
I put my hand on her coarse hair and stroke it. I hum her apology song. It’s haunting and brings up all kinds of complicated feelings, but it’s the only lullaby I know.
My mother hasn’t asked the questions that a normal person would ask, and I’m grateful for it. It’s like the world has become so crazy that it makes sense to her now.
I turn on the engine and drive us out.
‘Thanks, Mom. For coming to rescue me.’ My voice comes out reedy and a little wobbly. I clear my throat. ‘Not every mom would do that in a world like this.’
I don’t know if she hears me or not.
She has seen me in the arms of a demon, or what she thinks is a demon. She has seen me pop out of Beliel, riding a creature from hell. She has seen me in the company of a group of tortured, half-skinned Fallen. And she just saw me kiss an angel.
I couldn’t blame even a rational person for believing I was now deeply involved with the devil, or at least the enemy. I can’t even fathom what goes on in her head. This is a scenario she’s always feared, always warned me about. And here we are.
‘Thanks, Mom,’ I say again. There’s more to be said. And in a healthy mother–daughter relationship, more probably would be said.
But I don’t know how to begin. So I just keep humming that haunting lullaby that she used to sing to us when she was coming out of a particularly bad spell.
49
The road is empty of life. As we drive, I see nothing more than a deserted world of abandoned cars, earthquake-damaged landscape, and fire-gutted buildings.
The similarities between our landscape and the Pit are becoming disturbing.
We’re halfway to the Resistance camp when I see a growing speck in the sky behind us. It’s a single angel.
I debate whether to speed up or stop. I pull over and hide among the dead cars on the road. My mom and I slide down in our seats. Paige has already moved ahead of us.
I watch through the rearview mirror as the angel nears. He has bright white wings with a torso to match. It’s Josiah.
I make sure he’s alone before I get out and wave him down.
‘Raphael sent me to tell you not to go to the Resistance camp,’ says Josiah as he lands. He sounds out of breath.
‘Why? What’s going on?’
‘You need to stay away from any concentration of people. The trial by contest is going to be a blood hunt.’
‘What’s a blood hunt?’ Just saying those words makes me want to run and hide.
‘Two teams hunt as much game as possible,’ says Josiah. ‘It starts at dusk and ends at dawn. At the end, whoever has the most kills wins.’
‘What kind of game?’ My lips are numb, and I’m vaguely surprised the words come out.
He has the decency to look uncomfortable. ‘Uriel insists there’s only one prey worth hunting. The only one that’s attacked back.’
‘No.’ I shake my head. ‘Raffe wouldn’t do that.’
‘He has no choice. No one backs out of a blood hunt.’
I have to lean against the truck.
‘So Raffe is going to slaughter as many humans as he can? You too?’
‘Whoever wins the contest wins the trial. If Raphael wins, he’ll be in charge, and everyone who survives the blood hunt will be better off.’
My stomach feels like an acid volcano, and I swallow hard to keep it down.
‘But it’s a long flight to victory,’ he says. ‘A blood hunt includes everyone who wants to join. All of Uriel’s angels will join him. A Watcher can kill three times the game that a regular soldier can, but we’ll still need to go to the most populated area if we have any shot at beating Uriel’s team.’
‘You do know that you’re talking about killing my kind, right? We’re not prey, and we’re not game.’ I can’t get away from the thought that I helped Raffe get his team together.
Josiah’s look softens. ‘Your orders are to survive. Run as far away from populated areas as possible. Then hide in the most buried, most secure place you can find. You’ll have until sunset.’
There’s only one place that’s densely populated now. The Resistance camp.