“You don’t think it’s his or you don’t want it to be his?”
She cringed. “Both. I don’t think he’d make a very good daddy. He’s kind of . . . harsh.”
“But Owen would make a good father?”
Lindsey smiled and stroked her stomach with both hands. “I think so. Don’t you? Owen’s so sweet. The best of the bunch.”
Madison scowled, wholeheartedly disagreeing with Lindsey’s opinion. Of course she was a tad partial to Adam. And even though he didn’t seem keen on having kids, she knew he’d be a great father if he opened himself up to the love a child offered. And how could he not?
Lindsey gave the door one last look of longing and then took several steps backward to lean against the wall beside the paper towel dispenser.
Madison took a few steps forward, but kept some distance. She didn’t want to spook the woman into silence. “I happen to think Adam would make a fine father,” she said. “If he’d just trust himself. Lots of people have trust issues. They don’t trust other people. But Adam doesn’t trust himself. Once he gets past that . . .” Madison realized she was prattling on, as if trying to convince Lindsey that Adam would be the best father for her baby, and that was the opposite of how she felt. “So you’ve latched on to Owen because he’s the most sympathetic to your cause. Does that about sum it up?”
“He was the first.”
Madison’s jaw dropped. “You were a virgin?”
Lindsey snorted on a laugh. “Uh, no. He was the first that night. With Kellen. And then Shade. And after that it really got out of hand. But Owen was nice to me. Even afterwards. And he doesn’t have to love me to be a good father. I’m not pursuing him for myself. I just want our baby to grow up knowing his daddy, that’s all.”
Our baby. Lindsey really was convinced that Owen was the father. And Madison didn’t buy that Lindsey wasn’t interested in Owen for herself. It was obvious that she had a crush. Whenever Owen was in the room, she lit up like a laser show and made sure she was close to him at all times. Heck, she was surprised Lindsey hadn’t dragged him into the bathroom with her. How devastated would Lindsey be if she found out Owen wasn’t the father of her child? Madison was certain she’d be crushed. But wanting something—no matter how strongly—didn’t make it a reality.
“What are you going to do if the paternity test shows that Owen is not the father?” Madison played devil’s advocate.
“I’ll worry about that after the baby is born. But I know this baby is his. I can sense it.”
More like she was fixated on the idea. And Madison wasn’t sure that even a paternity test would change her mind about the parentage of her child. Madison wondered if Owen had it in him to be mean to the woman, because he was going to have to take the initiative to break Lindsey’s unhealthy attachment. There was no way Lindsey was going to give up on him if he kept being so nice to her.
“Has he talked to you about having a paternity test before the baby is born?”
Lindsey’s face went ashen. “Before?”
Madison nodded. “He hasn’t mentioned it?”
“No. We haven’t had much time to talk. I never realized how busy he would be on tour. I’m already exhausted just trying to keep up with him.”
He was probably being difficult to keep up with on purpose. Madison didn’t know who she should feel sorrier for—Owen or Lindsey.
“Have you been talking to Owen a lot since . . . the night it happened?” Madison asked. If they’d been corresponding secretly, Lindsey’s infatuation might make a little more sense.
“Only in my dreams.”
Obsession could turn ugly quickly. Madison needed to warn Owen. Surely if he knew what he was dealing with here, he’d stop encouraging Lindsey to think he was the moon and stars. Or maybe they were meant to be together. As disturbing as Madison found that thought, such a solution would make things easier for everyone. If Owen actually loved this girl and wanted to be her baby’s daddy, then she wasn’t going to be a buttinsky. Madison just got the feeling from what Owen had said earlier that this was entirely a one-sided love affair. Which meant someone would get hurt. She hoped it wouldn’t be the child.
“Is there really a paternity test that can be taken before the baby is born?” Lindsey asked, staring down at her knotted hands.
“Yeah. Two types, actually.”
“I’ll have to look into it.” Lindsey released her grip on her own fingers and wrapped both arms around her belly.
“I wish you well and hope your baby is loved by both of his or her parents,” Madison said.
Lindsey lifted her head, locking gazes with Madison, and then smiled.
“But if that’s not possible for whatever reason, you can do this alone, Lindsey. Lots of women do.”
Lindsey’s eyes narrowed, and her careful smile vanished. “But they shouldn’t have to raise a child alone. I shouldn’t have to.”
She had Madison there.
“I know everyone thinks this pregnancy is all my fault and I somehow deserve what happened because I not only had sex for fun, I enjoyed every minute of it with every last member of the band. But every man on that bus was having sex for fun. And if they say they didn’t enjoy it, they’re liars. So how is it any different when I do it? Because I’m a woman? Because I’m supposed to be the responsible one? Why doesn’t any of the responsibility fall on any of these men? Because they’re rock stars and it’s expected that they sleep around? Or is it because people have it in their heads that I’m a gold digger?”
Madison forced herself not to nod and to just listen to the woman’s tirade. Lindsey shook her head at her as if she could read Madison’s thoughts.
“I don’t give a fuck about money,” Lindsey said. “I just want what’s best for my baby. I tried to do it by myself and I failed, okay? I can’t even afford a place to live. No one will hire me in my condition. Would you rather I go on public assistance instead of making one of these men own up to their responsibility? Is that what you want? The taxpayers to be punished for what we did? Yes, we. It takes two to make a baby.”
Or in this case five. Or was it six? Madison opened her mouth to speak, but Lindsey still wasn’t finished with her tirade.
“Sheezus, why do these guys get to play the victim because I’m pregnant? No one forced any one of them to put his dick in me.”