So can you believe this? Mom is bringing Birdie and Susan to Denver in two days. Between now and then I have to get some really good, usable material about each of the band members and start organizing my data. I have a lot of work to do in a short amount of time, so I probably won’t write much over the next few days.
Oh, Logan’s done with his shower. Time for bed. Don’t wait up.
Overwhelmed-but-determined,
Toni
May 7
Dear Journal,
I didn’t get much sleep last night. And not because I was working. Logan surprised me with a sex pop quiz, and I had to demonstrate all the things he’s taught me so far. By the time I was finished with him, he said I definitely earned my A. So I was a bit tired all day.
We’re in Salt Lake City now. The band had a signing at a guitar store today. Sinners, Riott Actt, and Twisted Element were all there too. A lot of people brought their guitars to be signed by a favorite band member or sometimes the whole band or sometimes every musician present. Some fans forked out hundreds of dollars to buy guitars at the store to have signed. I didn’t know each band member has licensed instruments on sale to the public. The guys designed the shapes and colors of the guitars themselves. More stuff for the book! The event was great fun, as usual. I really enjoyed watching Dare and Trey interact. They’re so close. Almost as close as Birdie and I. I used to think that was common, but I’m starting to see the bond we share is truly special.
And I guess I’ll get to see her in Denver day after tomorrow. I’m looking forward to seeing her, but not Mom so much. When she told me she was coming, I was so pissed that I—Well, I didn’t really do anything. But next time I see her . . . Right. I probably won’t do anything then either. Or maybe I will. I’m just not sure what yet. And poor Birdie. Mom knows she hates flying, so why is she subjecting her to it? I texted her and told her she didn’t have to come, that I can email her sample pages of the book if she needs evidence that I’m working. She said it was too late, she’d already bought the tickets. And Susan is coming too. Ugh! I’m not sure if I’ll be able to tolerate her abuse. I don’t have to take her shit, right? Right. Still, I’d rather get her off my case in a nonconfrontational manner. She scares the piss out of me.
Logan’s at the after-party right now. I watched him play live tonight. God, he’s amazing. He was so sexy, I jumped his bones as soon as he came off the stage. I hoped he would skip the party and stay on the bus with me, but he wanted to go celebrate. I don’t know where the man gets all his energy. I’m not upset that he goes partying with Steve and the rest of the guys after their shows, just baffled by how they manage to keep going. I suppose at some point I’ll have to find the energy to attend another one of those things for the book. I didn’t stay long enough at the first one to get the full experience.
Tomorrow we drive to Denver. The guys have agreed to write out the answers to all of Susan’s questions. Except Logan. Logan said he wouldn’t answer any of them unless I was naked and I asked in a sexy voice. He’s such a tease!
Still waiting for him to admit he has feelings for me, but I’m content with things the way they are for now.
I won’t always be this patient. I need to hear him admit he loves me almost as much as I need to tell him how I feel.
I’m going to bed now. I need to get up early and practice my seductive interviewer voice.
Toni
May 8
Dear Journal,
So the wonderful man who is currently snoring across the room helped me put together a portfolio. So far I have several pages for each band member and a backstage section and one for live in concert. I also have a folder full of clips and photos that I can use later. We had to sort out the good from the bad, such as me ass-planting on the stage—I didn’t realize I’d taken a picture on the way down. Haha! And all of the incriminating stuff they don’t want in the book? I’ve hidden that away. There’s a lot of it. There’s actually more of that kind of material than stuff I can use. But that’s okay; no one has to know but me. Susan can gloat that it seems like I haven’t gotten much work done this week. I don’t care. If the finished product is garbage—and I guarantee it won’t be—then she can complain. Until then she can shut the fuck up.
Wow. Not sure where all this anger is coming from. I guess the high from smoking pot wears off quickly. Logan talked me into smoking a little. I don’t think I’ll do it again. It wasn’t as fun as I thought it would be. But food does taste really good. All I wanted to do was eat and lounge around. It was a good way to unwind after finishing the portfolio. And the sex afterwards was as good as always, but Logan fell asleep right after. He’s usually good to a go a few times before he crashes. I think he does need these off days to unwind.
The guys were great about answering Susan’s questions. They passed my laptop around and filled in the blanks as we drove from Salt Lake to Denver. I honestly can’t believe how good they are to me. I thought they’d treat me cordially at best or disdainfully at worst, but they make me feel like I’m a part of their group. Reagan says we’re going to go clothes shopping when we’re in New Orleans next week. I wonder if that’s her way of politely saying my wardrobe sucks.
Well, I’d better head to bed. Not sure if I’ll be able to sleep. I’m still a little worried that Mom will say I haven’t done enough work and let Susan take my place. I’m not sure how I’ll handle that situation. I’m not ready to leave yet. Those feelings have a lot to do with the job, but much more to do with Logan. Eventually this job will end and then what? Do we go our separate ways?
I don’t want to think about it today.
And unlike Scarlett O’Hara, I don’t want to think about it tomorrow either.
Good night. Wish me luck!
Toni
Twenty-Six
Toni answered her phone, glad it was her mother’s name on caller ID and not Susan. She had her presentation ready to go, but she was not ready to face the woman.
“We’re down in the lobby,” Mom said. “Why don’t you come meet us for breakfast?”
“Yeah, okay. I’ll be down in a few minutes.”
Logan rubbed at the tension knot between her shoulders. “Your editor?”
Toni shook her head. “My mother. She wants me to come down for breakfast.”
“Am I invited?” Logan asked.
Toni smiled. “Do you want to be invited?”