Toni scowled, thinking that was the oddest thing Julian had ever asked her and the man had no filter. “Why does it matter? Did you cut off all my skirts so they barely cover my ass?” Turning her conservative clothing into ho-garb was something he would do.
Julian laughed. “Damn, why didn’t I think of that?”
As they neared the Mercer Street exit, Julian switched on his blinker to merge. Space Needle, Science Center, Key Arena Toni read on the directional signs. She was one step closer to her destination. She pursed her lips together to keep her dinner down.
“So did you shave them or not?” he asked.
“Not that it’s any of your business, but yes, they’re silky smooth. Why?”
“So you are expecting to get laid tonight,” he said, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. “I thought your frumpy sweater was a little tighter than usual. Showing off the goods for a change?”
Toni’s mouth dropped open in indignation, and she slapped Julian on the head. He had so much product in his black hair that she was sure he didn’t feel the blow. “I am not showing off the goods.” She crossed her arms over her chest and scowled. “And I have absolutely no expectations in the getting laid department. I just don’t like my legs all itchy and hairy in my pajamas.”
“You didn’t seriously pack pajamas to wear while on tour with a rock band, did you?”
“What else am I supposed to sleep in?”
“Nothing. The wet spot. A puddle of your own vomit. Anything would be preferable to pajamas.”
She crinkled her nose at his suggestions. “You’re disgusting.”
He pulled around the back of the arena, where barricades were set up to keep the public from the tour buses parked near the back entrance. Which reminded her . . . Toni searched through her messenger bag for the packet the band’s manager had sent. It included a press pass that would get her past security. Pulling to a halt in a no-stopping zone, Julian shifted into park and turned toward her.
“Disgusting? You know you love me.” He blinked at her with sleepy blue eyes surrounded by thick dark lashes.
“Except when I hate you. Which is most of the time.” She reached for the door handle, but Julian caught her other arm.
“This is the part where I’m supposed to tell you to be a good girl and to carefully guard your heart, body, and soul from evil rock stars. It’s also where I should advise you to stay away from excessive alcohol, drugs, sex, and backstage after-parties.”
“But you’re not going to . . .”
“Hell no. You need to live it up. Your mother has you so isolated from the outside world, I fear you’ll never escape.”
“For your information, my mother doesn’t isolate me. I isolate myself.”
“I’m still surprised she let you take this assignment. It’s not like you’ll be living in the company of the Vienna Boys’ Choir for the next month. I’m sure my life is tame when compared to the exploits of a bunch of rock stars, and she’s always giving me that stare of disapproval.”
Toni knew that stare all too well. “You know what Mom said when I asked for the assignment? I suppose it is time you get a life,” she said, mimicking her mother’s typical bored-sounding drawl. But Toni did have a life. Being twenty-five and still living at home didn’t bother her nearly as much as it bothered everyone else.
“Your mom is right. You do need to get a life.”
Toni scowled. Why did everyone assume that because she wasn’t some wild party animal or some socialite debutante that she wasn’t happy? “I happen to love my life. Birdie means everything to me.”
Someone honked behind them. Toni opened the door, but Julian grabbed her arm again to keep her from fleeing.
“Whether you realize it or not, you need more than your little sister to make your life complete. And if you come back from this trip still a virgin, I’m going to do something about it.”
She blinked at him. “You’re going to do something about it? You? The man who fears vaginas?”
“Hey, I’d probably do a better job of it than the last idiot who failed you, but no, I’ve no plans to contaminate my junk with girl juice.”
Toni covered her eyes with one hand as if it would shield her from Julian’s crazy schemes.
“If you’re still a virgin next time I see you, I will promptly kidnap you, haul your ass to Vegas in the trunk of my car, and buy you a bona fide man-whore to remove your V-chip.”
She jerked her hand off her flaming face a gaped at him. “You wouldn’t!”
He snorted. “You know I would. And when he’s finished with you, he can do me.”
Toni shook her head at his ornery grin. “You scare me sometimes.”
“I scare me too. But I always have a good time. I refuse to let life pass me by. Now give me a smooch. I think the guy behind me is about to ram the car.” Julian presented his cheek, and Toni supplied it with a begrudged peck. “Have fun. I’ll call you in a few days to get all the juicy details.”
“I wouldn’t give you any juicy details even if I had them.” She supposed. Heck, she didn’t know. It wasn’t like she had many juicy details to share. And in those rare incidences that she did, Julian was always the instigator and the star witness.
“We’ll see. Text me as soon as you lose your virginity. So, like tonight.” He winked at her and shoved her toward the passenger door. “Now go.”
So she went with her knees knocking together like a pair of billiard balls. Even with her press pass, it took a bit of convincing to get through security. Apparently no one took one look at her and thought, Wow, this woman has her shit together. She obviously belongs here.
By some miracle, she reached her destination without being kicked to the curb.
As Toni stepped onto Exodus End’s tour bus, her stomach took residence in her calf-hugging boots. The churning sensation of guilt and worry that had plagued her from the moment she’d left Birdie in the care of her domestically-challenged mother had moved past the lurching flips of her car ride with Julian to what must have been her liver using her stomach as a trampoline as she’d worked her way through security, and now that she’d finally located her home for the next month, the overwrought organ had decided to embark on a skydiving adventure. If this kept up, she was going to need an appointment with a gastroenterologist.
Deep breath, Toni. Susan is wrong. You can do this.