It will and I’m sure there will be times I’ll be scared, too, but... “I can’t let my fears or hers dictate my life anymore. It’s time I explore the world.”
Dad steps forward and kisses my forehead. His nonverbal gesture to let me know I’ve won. At least for now. Mom will battle this and Eli has a gleam in his eye saying that some old habits won’t die easily, but I’m feeling more in control of my destiny.
“So, we’ll work this out?” I say to Eli.
He nods. “We’ll work this out.”
Oz
OLIVIA DIED ON a Tuesday. It was sunny. A clear blue sky and a rare seventy-six-degree day in a late Kentucky July. All the windows were open in the house. Almost all the people she loved the most and who loved her in return gathered in her room.
Everyone but Emily.
The moment Olivia took her last breath, the shades of the window in her room billowed out with the breeze and the room filled with the scent of honeysuckle. Cyrus crouched beside her bed, placed their combined hands over his heart and then leaned down and laid his head on her chest. As he waited for another beat, another rise of her body for air, I counted.
One into two. Two into three. Three into she was officially gone.
She was fifty-eight years old and had lived a life so full that for a few weeks after her death everything surrounding me felt empty.
Empty until now.
My motorcycle rumbles beneath me and the wind blows on my face as I race around another curve. Riding is therapy for me. It helps me to forget. Helps me to not feel, but what’s helping me heal are the two arms wrapped tight around my stomach and the delicate body pressed to mine. I let go of the handlebar and squeeze Emily’s knee. She’s home. Only for a week, but it’s a week I’m going to cherish.
We’ve flown past the cabin, the pond, the house my parents have started construction on and the trailer that now serves as our temporary home. Emily and I are going farther and faster than we’ve been before and I love how she sits high on the back of my bike enjoying the sensation of freedom.
The end of the road is in sight and I drop gears then ease to a stop. I kick down the stand and Emily slips off along with me. She smooths back her hair from the ride and glances around the thick woods. “How far of a hike is it?”
“A half mile. Maybe three-quarters. I can do this alone if you want.”
Emily’s lips flatten to a fine line. “No, Olivia left this for me to do. I had no idea she’d enjoy torturing me from heaven.”
I grin and Emily slightly smiles with me. We text. Talk on the phone. Video chat when we can. There’s not a day that we aren’t in contact, but having her here, being able to touch her body, seeing the emotion in her eyes, it’s a million times better.
A breeze through the trees and a stray strand of her hair drifts across her dark eyes. I move it and permit my finger to trace her cheek as I tuck the loose piece behind her ear. A red path lights up her skin from where I caressed her. A blush that brushes against my heart.
I unstrap the backpack I had attached behind Emily, swing it onto my shoulder, then offer my hand, palm up to her. “Do you trust me?”
She scans the green forest and the small path that cuts through it as if the boogeyman lies in wait. “Do you mind if I go first?”
An eyebrow raises. Emily’s terrified of the woods and that she’s agreed to this hike is huge. “Are you sure?”
She wipes her hands along her jeans. “Yeah. I need to do this. If you can apply to college and Olivia can fight the cancer for as long as she did and Eli can take a bullet, I can hike in the woods. Besides, I took on the woods in the dark for a few seconds that night I left Olivia’s. If I could do that then, I can do this now.”
“All right.”
She goes in and I’m not far behind. The path is narrow and the weeds high. We can only walk in tandem and, for a bit, we do so in silence. Each brief glimpse of her face shows strained panic, but my respect for her grows as she continues forward, confronting her fears.
A cloud blocks the sun and the forest darkens. Emily quickens her pace.
“I got in,” I say.
Emily stops so quickly that I almost ram into her. She spins on her toes. “Got into what?”
By the excitement gleaming in her eyes, she knows, but I say it, anyway. “Don’t go crazy on me. I’ll be a part-time student. I’m going to be doing most of it online, and I’ll have to drive into Bowling Green once a week for one class that has to be taken there.”
Despite my warning, Emily’s already hopping on her feet. “What are you majoring in? Just tell me what you’re majoring in.”
“Special education.”
Emily squeals. Squeals. Then throws herself at me. Her arms around my neck. Her soft curves pressing into me. I tangle my fingers into her silky hair and keep her locked in the hug. “I’ve missed you.”
She lifts her head and skims her fingers across my face. “I’ve missed you, too.”
Our lips are a few inches apart and I’ve dreamed night after night of our mouths and bodies moving in time together. Emily shyly turns her head away. We haven’t kissed properly since our night in my room. Kissing like that would require time alone.
We’ve been under Eli’s watchful eye since she arrived two days ago. It doesn’t help that I’m now sharing her with everyone in the club. Never realized what we experienced before will never happen again. Emily’s not just my girl, she’s now the club’s daughter, sister and friend.
“So when you start school are you still going to work for the security company?” she asks casually, as if the answer doesn’t matter to her, but it does. Working for the security company puts me in harm’s way and it means I still carry a gun. I understand why Emily’s gun-shy.
“College costs money,” I respond. The gun’s not currently on me as I only carry it when I’m on a run. Since Emily arrived, I’ve kept it in the safe in the clubhouse, but I’ve caught her searching for it when my back’s to her.
“Humph.”
I snag her hand and angle her to face me. “Even if I had the money for school, I’d still work for them. Not full-time, but when they needed me. This isn’t just a job. It’s a family business and even though I’m not blood-related, I’m family.”
Emily sags. “I know. It worries me.”
“Don’t be. I can ride circles around most of those guys.”
Emily rolls her eyes and the path widens enough that I can walk beside her and hold her hand. She’s worried about the Riot. Things have been quiet with them. Maybe it will stay that way. Maybe it won’t. Either way it won’t change how we live our lives.