“Thank you,” Maria said. Suddenly exhausted, she barely recognized the sound of her own voice.
“Would you like to come inside?” Lily asked when she pulled back. “I’m sure Evan is calmer by now, and we can work through some options or ideas… or we can just sit and listen if you feel like you need to talk.”
“I wouldn’t even know what to say,” she said.
Lily understood, and with a gentle click of the door as it closed behind her, Maria and Colin were alone on the front porch.
“I’m sorry, Maria,” he mumbled.
“I know.”
“Would you like me to bring you home?”
In either direction, most of the houses were already dark.
“I don’t want to go home,” she said in a small voice. “He knows where I live.”
Colin stretched out his hand. “C’mon,” he said. “You can stay with me.”
Leaving the porch, they walked around the side of the house, toward the downstairs entrance. Once inside, Colin turned on the lights as he led the way. Hoping for any distraction from the lingering knot in her stomach, she took in the room. Average sized, with a kitchen off to the right and a small hallway directly ahead that no doubt led to the bedroom and bath. Surprisingly neat, without clutter piled on the coffee table or on the counters. Neutral color scheme for the furniture, with no photographs or personal items, like no one lived here at all.
“This is your place?”
He nodded. “For now. Can I get you something to drink?”
“Just water,” she said.
Colin filled two glasses in the kitchen, bringing one of them to her. She took a sip, suddenly remembering that she was being followed and seeing again Colin’s anger as he’d demanded answers from the waitress, his muscles tense. She remembered the split second after Evan had jerked him off balance and the utter wildness and uncontrollable fury in his expression.
“How are you feeling?” he finally asked.
She tried to force the image away and realized that she couldn’t. “Not good,” she said. “Not good at all.”
Neither of them seemed to know what to say to the other in the living room, nor later, when they were in bed together. Instead, simply needing to be held, Maria rolled over, resting her head on Colin’s chest, conscious of the lingering tension in his body.
She’d hoped that by staying here, with Colin beside her, she’d feel safe.
But she didn’t feel safe. Not anymore. And as she lay awake, staring into the darkness, she was beginning to wonder whether she ever would again.
In the morning, Colin drove Maria home and waited in the living room while she showered and changed, but he didn’t join her for brunch at her parents’. He understood that right now, she needed to be alone with her family, a haven of stability and predictability amid a life that suddenly felt wildly off course. He walked her to her car and while they embraced, she found herself holding back slightly.
At the house, her parents were oblivious, but Serena figured out something was bothering Maria as soon as she stepped inside, something Maria didn’t want to share with her parents. Serena played along perfectly, maintaining a stream of commentary as they cooked and ate, filling any silences with the sound of her voice and keeping the conversation from drifting toward anything serious.
Afterwards, Maria and Serena went for a walk. As soon as they reached a safe distance from the house, Serena turned and said, “Spill it.” On a bench beneath an elm tree with leaves that had begun to turn gold, Maria told Serena everything that had happened, reliving the terror of the past several days, and when she started to cry, Serena began to cry as well. Like Maria, Serena was upset and scared; like Maria, she had more questions than answers. Questions at which Maria could only shake her head.
After lunch, Serena and her parents headed off to Maria’s uncle’s house, an informal family get-together like countless others, but Maria begged off, claiming she had a headache and wanted to take a nap. While her dad accepted the explanation without question, Maria’s mother was dubious, though she knew enough not to press her. On the way out the door, she hugged Maria longer than usual and asked how things were going with Colin. The sound of his name brought a sudden wellspring of tears, and on her way to the car, Maria thought, I’ve officially become a basket case.
Even concentrating enough to drive was strangely difficult. Despite the traffic, all she could think was that someone was watching her, waiting for her to return… or maybe he was even following her now. Impulsively, she changed lanes and made a quick turn onto a side street, her eyes glued to the rearview mirror. She turned again, then once more before finally pulling over. And though she wanted to be strong – pleaded with God to help her be strong – she found herself bent over the steering wheel, sobbing.
Who was he and what did he want? The nameless, faceless man in the baseball cap – why hadn’t she looked for him? All she remembered were shadows and fragments, nothing at all…
But there was more, too, something that kept her anxious and on the verge of tears. Without thinking, she put the car in gear and started driving, eventually making her way to a quiet stretch of Carolina Beach.
The day was cool and the breeze held the nip of the coming winter as she walked the sand. Clouds had rolled in, white and gray, and it felt like impending rain. The waves rolled in calming rhythm, and as she walked, she finally felt her thoughts beginning to settle long enough for a bit of clarity to emerge.
She wasn’t on edge simply because she was being followed. Nor was she merely reliving the fears she’d felt for Colin as he’d stood with the police officers with the rest of his life hanging in the balance. She saw now that she was also afraid of Colin, and as sick as the thought made her feel, she couldn’t push the feeling away.