I knew that what I had to say was only going to make Dr. Edgeway feel worse. “She didn’t want to give it away. She only asked me to hold on to it for her in case she could one day get it back.”
His silver brows furrowed. “What do you mean?”
Now it was my turn to close my eyes in pain. “The day after I arrived at the compound, Mendoza immediately made me his favorite. Besides being with him, one part of my job was to help acclimate the new girls who were brought in. Since I could speak English, I had to inform them of what was expected of them. Anything they had on them was taken. Jewelry was allegedly used to pay for their food until they were sold.”
Bile rose in my throat as I thought of the frightened girls I had been forced to talk to. I understood their fear even though I hadn’t received the same treatment. Instead, I had received my induction straight from Mendoza. Of course, mine was far different from that of the other girls, since I was selected to stay at the compound.
Focusing on Dr. Edgeway again, I continued. “I guess it was just two days ago when I met Sarah, and she asked me to take the ring and keep it for her. Since none of the other girls had been so attached to what they had, I felt I had to do as she asked. So I took it. And when Mendoza noticed it on my hand, I lied and told him I had wanted to pretend it was a present from him.” Revulsion rose in me at the memory of having to play those survival games. “After he beat me, he let me keep it.”
Dr. Edgeway cursed under his breath. “I’m sorry you endured that just to make Sarah feel better.”
Tears stung my eyes. Tears of anger. Tears of anguish. Tears of desperation. While I should have been touched by Dr. Edgeway apologizing for the physical pain I had endured, the blackened part of my soul wanted to lash out at him. How could he possibly think his sorrow could ever take away the degrading and deplorable things that I had experienced? Words only minimalized the suffering I had been through. But just as fast as the rage had risen up inside me, the more rational side of my mind reasoned that the man before me was a grief-stricken father trying his best to wade through the quicksand he now found himself in. “I’m just sorry I never got the chance to return it to her.” My voice hitched as I in turn minimalized his suffering with mere words.
“So am I,” he replied. With an agonized sigh, he slipped the ring in his pocket. “I suppose we better get to the task at hand before Rev wonders what is going on in here.”
“Okay,” I replied as I wiped the tears from my cheeks with the back of my hand.
He eyed the machines I was hooked up to and the IV bag. “While I should be grateful there was a hospital to bring you to in this godforsaken place, I’m not impressed with their level of care compared to back in the States,” he remarked.
When he reached for the sheet, I involuntarily gripped the edges tighter. Closing my eyes, I shook my head. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize. It’s to be expected after what you’ve been through, especially with a male doctor.”
After I released the fabric, Dr. Edgeway pulled the sheet down and then eased my gown up over my abdomen. “The incision looks like it is healing well, no signs of infection.” When he lightly tapped my stomach, I flinched. “It’s not surprising that you’re sore. Besides the surgery, you had been worked over quite extensively.”
“What exactly did you have to do?”
Dr. Edgeway didn’t immediately respond. Instead, he put my gown back in place and pulled the sheet up. Finally, after what felt like an eternity had passed, he cleared his throat. “The blunt force trauma you sustained caused your spleen to rupture. If Rev hadn’t found you when he did, you would have died from internal hemorrhaging in another hour.”
Bile rose in my throat as I painfully recalled my last hours in the compound. “I’m not too surprised that Mendoza left me to die. . . . He wanted me dead.”
“It was pretty evident from your injuries that’s what he intended.”
“So you just had to take out my spleen?”
After glancing down at the tile floor, Dr. Edgeway shook his head. “The blunt force trauma also caused a miscarriage—” My gasp of horror forced his gaze to meet mine.
“I was . . . pregnant?”
“Yes. You were.”
I could barely wrap my mind around such a thought. Of course, I had long been denied my birth control pills while in captivity, and since I was owned by Mendoza, he didn’t bother with condoms. I guess nature had taken its course. But the thought of carrying that monster’s child made my stomach roil in revulsion. At least there were some small mercies, and I had lost the baby. As much as I loved children and wanted them someday, I didn’t think I could have withstood raising a child of Mendoza’s.
“But I’m afraid that’s not the worst of it.”
“I’m sorry?”
“The miscarriage caused a tear in your uterine lining that couldn’t be repaired. The only way to stop the bleeding was to perform an emergency hysterectomy.”
Although Dr. Edgeway appeared to continue speaking, I couldn’t make out anything else he said. Absently, my hand came to rest on my abdomen. My now-barren abdomen. “I can’t have children,” I whispered in disbelief. I suddenly hoped and prayed that at any moment I would wake up from the nightmare, even if it found me back at Mendoza’s compound.
“You can’t carry a child, but you can still have a child of your own.”
“What?” I questioned absently.