Whatever her reasons, there was nothing to be done for it now. I might not like the heavy-handed way the Alchemists had dealt with me, but I still fiercely believed in what they were doing to protect humans from vampires. And I definitely believed in keeping Jill safe from her own people if it meant avoiding a massive civil war. I could do this job and do it well. And Zoe - she would be free to pursue whatever she wanted in life.
"What took you so long?" my father asked when I returned to the study. My conversation with Zoe had delayed me a couple minutes, which was two minutes too long for him. I didn't attempt to answer.
"I'm ready to go whenever you are," Keith told me. His mood had shifted while I was upstairs. Friendliness oozed from him now, so strongly that it was a wonder everyone didn't recognize it as fake. He'd apparently decided to try a more pleasant attitude around me, either in the hopes of impressing the others or sucking up to me so that I wouldn't reveal what I knew about him. Yet even as he wore that plastic smile, there was a stiffness in his posture and the way he crossed his arms that told me - if no else - that he was no happier about being thrown together than I was. "I can even do most of the driving."
"I don't mind doing my share," I said, trying to avoid glancing at his glass eye. I also wasn't comfortable being driven by someone with faulty depth perception.
"I'd like to speak to Sydney in private before she goes, if that's all right," my father said.
No one had a problem with that, and he led me into the kitchen, shutting the door behind us. We stood quietly for a few moments, simply facing each other with arms crossed. I suddenly dared to hope that maybe he'd come to tell me he was sorry for how things had been between us this last month, that he forgave me and loved me. Honestly, I would've been happy if he'd simply wanted a private, fatherly goodbye.
He peered down at me intently, his brown eyes so identical to mine. I hoped mine never had such a cold look in them. "I don't have to tell you how important this is for you, for all of us."
So much for fatherly affection.
"No, sir," I said. "You don't."
"I don't know if you can undo the disgrace you brought down on us by running off with them, but this is a step in the right direction. Do not mess this up. You're being tested. Follow your orders. Keep the Moroi girl out of trouble." He sighed and ran a hand through his dark blond hair, which I'd also inherited. Strange, I thought, that we had so many things in common... yet were so completely different. "Thank God Keith is with you. Follow his lead. He knows what he's doing."
I stiffened. There was that note of pride in his voice again, like Keith was the greatest thing walking the earth. My father had seen to it that my training was thorough, but when Keith had stayed with us, my father had taken him on trips and lessons I'd never been part of. My sisters and I had been furious.
We'd always suspected that our father regretted having only daughters, and that had been proof. But it wasn't jealousy that made my blood boil and teeth clench now.
For a moment, I thought, What if I tell him what I know? What will he think of his golden boy then? But staring into my father's hard eyes, I answered my own question: No one would believe me. That was immediately followed by the memory of another voice and a girl's frightened, pleading face staring at me with big brown eyes. Don't tell, Sydney. Whatever you do, don't tell what Keith did. Don't tell anyone. I couldn't betray her like that.
My father was still waiting for an answer. I swallowed and nodded. "Yes, sir."
He raised his eyebrows, clearly pleased, and gave me a rough pat on the shoulder. It was the closest he'd come to real affection in a while. I flinched, both from surprise and because of how rigid I was with frustration. "Good." He moved toward the kitchen door and then paused to glance back at me.
"Maybe there's hope for you yet."
Chapter Three
THE DRIVE TO PALM SPRINGS WAS AGONY.
I was exhausted from being dragged out of bed, and even when Keith took over the wheel, I couldn't fall asleep. I had too much on my mind: Zoe, my reputation, the mission at hand.... My thoughts spun in circles. I just wanted to fix all the problems in my life. Keith's driving did nothing to make me less anxious.
I was also upset because my father hadn't let me say goodbye to my mom. He'd gone on and on about how we should just let her sleep, but I knew the truth. He was afraid that if she knew I was leaving, she'd try to stop us. She'd been furious after my last mission: I'd gone halfway around the world alone, only to be returned with no clue as to what my future held. My mom had thought the Alchemists had used me badly and had told my dad it was just as well they seemed to be done with me. I don't know if she really could've stood in the way of tonight's plans, but I didn't want to take my chances in case Zoe got sent instead of me. I certainly hadn't expected a warm and fuzzy farewell from him, but it felt strange leaving on such unsettled terms with my sister and mother.
When dawn came, briefly turning the desert landscape of Nevada into a blazing sea of red and copper, I gave up on sleep altogether and decided to just power through. I bought a twenty-four-ounce cup of coffee from a gas station and assured Keith I could drive us the rest of the way. He gladly gave up the wheel, but rather than sleep, he bought coffee as well and chatted me up for the remaining hours. He was still going strong with his new we're-friends attitude, almost making me wish for his earlier animosity. I was determined not to give him any cause to doubt me, so I worked hard to smile and nod appropriately. It was kind of hard to do while constantly gritting my teeth.
Some of the conversation wasn't so bad. I could handle business talk, and we had plenty of details to still work out. He told me all he knew about the school, and I ate up his description of my future home. Amberwood Preparatory School was apparently a prestigious place, and I idly wondered if maybe I could treat it as pretend college. By Alchemist standards, I knew all I needed for my job, but something in me always burned for more and more knowledge. I'd had to learn to content myself with my own reading and research, but still, college - or even just being around those who knew more and had something to teach me - had long been a fantasy of mine.
As a "senior," I would have off-campus privileges, and one of our first orders of business - after securing fake IDs - was to get me a car. Knowing I wouldn't be trapped at a boarding school made things a bit more bearable, even though it was obvious that half of Keith's enthusiasm for getting me my own transportation was to make sure I could shoulder any work that came along with the job.