"I'm Claire." She swallowed a bubble of anxiety. Could it be about her dad? No, he was doing better--he'd said so himself. Everything was all right.
Then why was some stranger calling her?Now?
"My name is Mr. Radamon, and I am in charge of the Atomic, Biophysics, Condensed Matter, and Plasma Physics program at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology. Did you receive our letter?"
Claire went entirely blank. "Your...letter?"
"You applied for admission into our program last year," Mr. Radamon said. He sounded so...normal.So human. Somehow, she'd expected an MIT honcho to sound more godlike, with thunder rolling in the background. "We replied about six months ago with an acceptance letter to your home address. I just wanted to be sure you got it."
"Oh.Oh , no, I didn't. My parents--my parents had to move. My dad is sick." MIT. MIT was on her phone. She took it away from her ear and started at it in dreamlike disbelief. "You said...I was accepted?"
"Yes," he said. "We do have an opening. But, of course, we need to confirm that you'll be able to attend at the beginning of next year. If you can't, we'll have to give the opportunity to another applicant. You understand?"
"Of course," Claire said, and felt a wave of hot excitement roll over her, followed by an ice-cold wave of realization. "You said...next year? As in January?"
"Yes, January," he said. "I hope that gives you enough time to make your arrangements. I'm sorry to hear your father is ill. I hope it's nothing serious."
Claire honestly didn't know what to say, and wasn't sure she could sayanything. She'd been dreaming of this moment for years, thinking about how cool and perfect she was going to sound, how she'd impress them with her adult attitude and control.
All she wanted to do was cry.I can't. I can't go. They won't let me, and this is my chance, my only chance.... MIT had been her dream ever since she'd been able to understand what they did there, what they taught, what they achieved. There, she'd learn things that even Myrnin couldn't fathom. She'd discover the secrets of the universe.
All she had to do was get the hell out of Morganville. Which she couldn't do.
"Miss Danvers?" said the voice of the future on the other end of a very long line. "Are you there?"
"Yes," she said. "I'm here."All the way here. "Mr. Radamon, I'm sorry. I'll need to get back to you a little later. I need to, uh, talk to my parents before I tell you for sure. Would that be okay?"
"Oh yes, absolutely. I'm sorry to spring this on you without any warning." He chuckled. "I know how exciting it can be to get this kind of news. I think I yelled my parents' house down when I got my acceptance letter. Most exciting moment of my life. Well, congratulations, Ms. Danvers. Please call me back when you have all your arrangements in hand. I'll need to hear from you within the week, of course."
"Of course," she repeated numbly. "Thank you, sir. Thank you very much."
"No thanks necessary; you were a brilliant candidate, and your scores are extremely impressive. We
look forward to having you on the team here."
She must have said something else, something nice and appreciative, but honestly, Claire couldn't think of anything except the giant letters flashing in front of her eyes...one set was MIT, and the other was OMG. She'd expected to feel a tremendous rush, but all she felt was...conflicted. And deeply, deeply scared.
The world had just opened up for her. Doves and angels and choirs singing. And all she could feel about it was...dread. Dread because she didn't think Amelie would release her in the first place, but even if she did...even if she did, what about Shane? If Shane was even talking to her ever again.
God, it was such amess.
She took another five minutes, sitting in silence, staring at her turned-off phone. Wondering who she should call. Her parents would support her no matter what; no help there. She wanted to talk to Shane, suddenly, but...but after last night...
She had nobody shecould talk to.
Well, she would have said something to Michael, who was in the living room, getting his stuff, but by the time she got her courage together, he was on his way. He just waved as he put on a sun-blocking black coat and hat and headed out the back door.
She shut her mouth, still trying to figure out how she felt. Mostly she just seemed...confused.
Eve was in the kitchen making pancakes. Alone.
"Morning, girlfriend," Eve said, and dumped some lumpy batter into a hot pan, where it immediately started to sizzle. "You look like you need carbs."
"Totally," Claire said, and sat down to rest her forehead in both hands. "Thanks."
"Yeah, no problem. Here." Eve grabbed a mug, filled it with coffee, and slid it to her on the table. "Caffeine. Makes the world all bright and sparkly, or maybe that's just me. Look, I gave you the fun mug."
In Eve's world, it was. It was a coffee mug with a dead-guy chalk outline on it, and it said he had decaf.
Claire mixed the coffee with all the things that made coffee drinking possible for her--milk, sugar, a little cinnamon--and sat nursing it, staring into the light brown surface but not seeing anything. She couldn't think. All she could do was...feel awful.
She needed to tell Eve, but saying it out loud would make it all real.MIT wants me to go there . Because part of her was so excited it was vibrating apart, and the other part, the practical part...that was crying. Did shewant to go...leave behind Morganville? Well, yes, obviously. But that meant leaving the people, too. Eve. Michael. Myrnin.Shane.
She wanted to talk about that, badly, but she just...couldn't. Not yet.
"Incoming!" Eve said, and as Claire looked up, slid a plate in front of her with two thick, steaming pancakes. A pat of butter melted like lava on top, and Eve thumped down a bottle of syrup. "Everything
gets better with pancakes. It's a law of the universe. Bonus for bacon, but we're out."
Eve had a plate, too, and sat down opposite her. Claire hadn't noticed, but Eve was makeup-free this morning, and her Goth-black hair was tied back in a simple ponytail. Even her clothes were subdued, or as much as Eve ever got--a form-hugging tee with a black-on-black skull design and a pair of black jeans. She picked up her fork and dug into her own plate.
Claire just watched the butter melt and poked at the pancakes a little. She dragged her fork through the syrup and spelled outMIT . Finally, she took a bite. They were good, really good, but as soon as she started to chew, tears came to her eyes and she could hardly swallow. She coughed to cover it, but Eve was watching her with a steady kind of focus that made it unnecessary.
"Hey," Eve said. "You know you can talk to me, right? About anything?"
Not about that. Not yet. But the other thing, yes. "Shane hates me," Claire said in a very small voice, and dragged her fork through the moat of syrup around the fortress of pancakes.
"Seriously?" Eve waited for Claire's nod before eating a bite of pancakes. She chewed and swallowed before she said, "Sorry, Claire Bear. He doesn't."
"You didn't hear what he said to me last night." That did it--the tears came now, for real, and she picked up her napkin and tried to wipe them away with shaking hands. God, what a mess she was.
"I heard what he said this morning before he blew out of here. He was angry at himself, not you--or, at least, more than at you. He said you'd gotten dragged away by Myrnin last night and he'd acted like a dick about it. Isn't that what happened?"
"Well, sort of. He was right--Idid go off with Myrnin."
"On a job."
"Yeah."
"Not on a date."
"Oh, God, no!"
"Then Shane acted like an ass, and he's got nothing to be jealous about, and he knows it. I saw him, Claire. Believe me, he knows he was wrong. He feels bad."
"Then why--?"Why didn't he come talk to me? Why didn't he try? Why did he just...leave?
"He's cooling down. It's a guy thing," Eve said. "He'll be okay when he gets back. And you? He said you were all angry about him watching sexy commercials on TV, which, frankly, is weird--you being mad about it, not him watching them, because I'm pretty sure teen boys get a pass on that. They can't help hitting the pause button when the half-naked girls show up."
"No, that wasn't it. It was--" She replayed it in her mind. A blur, a flutter of curtains. Whispers and laughter in the dark.