"I came here to get away from you."
I was so shocked that I said something utterly ridiculous.
"Why? Because I might kill you?"
The look he gave me showed that he thought that was indeed a ridiculous thing to say. "No. So we wouldn't be in this situation. Now we are, and the choice is inevitable."
I wasn't entirely sure what this situation was. "Well, you can let me go if you want to avoid it."
He stepped away and walked toward the living room without looking back at me. I was tempted to try to do a sneak attack on him, but something told me I'd probably only make it about four feet before getting backhanded. He sat down in one of the luxurious leather armchairs, folding his six-foot-seven frame up as gracefully as he'd always done. God, why did he have to be so contradictory? He had the old Dimitri's habits mixed with those of a monster. I stayed where I was, huddled against the wall.
"Not possible anymore. Not after seeing you now..." Again, he studied me. It felt strange. Part of me responded with excitement to the intensity of his gaze, loving the way he surveyed my body from head to toe. The other part of me felt dirty, like slime or muck was oozing over my skin as he studied me. "You're still as beautiful as I remember, Roza. Not that I should have expected anything different."
I didn't know what to say to that. I'd never really had a conversation with a Strigoi, short of trading a few insults and threats in the midst of a fight.
The nearest I'd come was when I'd been held captive by Isaiah. I actually had been tied up then, and most of the talking had been about him killing me. This... well, it wasn't like that, but it was still definitely creepy. I crossed my arms over my chest and backed up against the wall. It was the closest I could come to some semblance of a defense.
He tilted his head, watching me carefully. A shadow fell across his face in such a way that it made the red in his eyes hard to see. Instead, they looked dark. Just like they used to, endless and wonderful, filled with love and bravery...
"You can sit down," he said.
"I'm fine over here."
"Is there anything else you want?"
"For you to let me go?"
For a moment, I thought I saw a bit of that old wryness in his face, the kind he'd get when I made jokes. Studying him, I decided I'd imagined it.
"No, Roza. I meant, do you need anything here? Different food? Books? Entertainment?"
I stared incredulously. "You make it sound like some sort of luxury hotel!"
"It is, to a certain extent. I can speak to Galina, and she'll get you anything you wish."
"Galina?"
Dimitri's lips turned up in a smile. Well, kind of. I think his thoughts were fond, but the smile conveyed none of that. It was chilling, dark, and full of secrets. Only my refusal to show weakness before him stopped me from cringing.
"Galina is my old instructor, back from when I was in school."
"She's Strigoi?"
"Yes. She was awakened several years ago, in a fight in Prague. She's relatively young for a Strigoi, but she's risen in power. All of this is hers."
Dimitri gestured around us.
"And you live with her?" I asked, curious in spite of myself. I wondered exactly what kind of relationship they had, and to my surprise, I felt... jealous. Not that I had reason to. He was a Strigoi, beyond me now. And it wouldn't be the first time a teacher and student had gotten together...
"I work for her. She was another reason I returned here when I was awakened. I knew she was Strigoi, and I wanted her guidance."
"And you wanted to get away from me. That was the other reason, right?"
His only answer was a nod of his head. No elaboration.
"Where are we? We're far from Novosibirsk, right?"
"Yes. Galina's estate is outside the city."
"How far?"
That smile twisted a little. "I know what you're doing, and I'm not going to give you that sort of information."
"Then what are you doing?" I demanded, all of my pent-up fear bursting out as anger. "Why are you holding me here? Kill me or let me go. And if you're going to just lock me up and torture me with mind games or whatever, then I really would rather you kill me."
"Brave words." He stood up and began pacing once more. "I almost believe you."
"They're true," I replied defiantly. "I came here to kill you. And if I can't do that, then I'd rather die."
"You failed, you know. On the street."
"Yeah. I kind of figured that out when I woke up here."
Dimitri made an abrupt turn and was suddenly standing in front of me, moving with that lightning-fast Strigoi speed. My Strigoi-nausea had never gone away, but the more time I spent with him, the more it faded to a low-level sort of background noise that I could more or less ignore.
"I'm a little disappointed. You're so good, Rose. So very, very good. You and your friends going around and taking down Strigoi caused quite a stir, you know. Some Strigoi were even afraid."
"But not you?"
"When I heard it was you... hmm." He turned thoughtful, eyes narrowing. "No. I was curious. Wary. If anyone could have killed me, it would have been you. But like I said, you hesitated. It was your ultimate test of my lessons, and you failed."
I kept my face blank. Inside, I was still beating myself up over that moment of weakness on the street. "I won't hesitate next time."
"There won't be a next time. And anyway, as disappointed as I am in you, I'm still glad to be alive, of course."
"You aren't alive," I said through gritted teeth. God, he was so, so close to me again. Even with the changes to his face, the lean and muscled body was the same. "You're dead. Unnatural. You told me a long time ago you'd rather die than be like this. That's why I'm going to kill you."
"You're only saying that because you don't know any better. I didn't either back then."
"Look, I meant what I said. I'm not playing your game. If I can't get out of here, then just kill me, okay?"
Without warning, he reached out and ran his fingers along the side of my face. I gasped. His hand was ice cold, but the way he touched me... again, it was the same. Exactly the same as I remembered. How was this possible? So similar... yet so different. All of a sudden, another of his lessons came to mind, about how Strigoi could seem so, so like those you'd once known. It was why it was so easy to hesitate.
"Killing you... well, it's not that simple," he said. His voice dropped to a low whisper again, like a snake slithering against my skin. "There's a third option. I could awaken you."
I froze and stopped breathing altogether.
"No." It was the only thing I could say. My brain couldn't come up with anything more complex, nothing witty or clever. His words were too terrifying to even begin to ponder. "No."
"You don't know what it's like. It's... amazing. Transcendent. All your senses are alive; the world is more alive-"
"Yeah, but you're dead."
"Am I?"
He caught hold of my hand and placed it over his chest. In it, I could feel a steady beating. My eyes widened.
"My heart beats. I'm breathing."
"Yeah, but..." I tried desperately to think of everything I'd ever been taught about Strigoi. "It's not really being alive. It's... it's dark magic reanimating you. It's an illusion of life."
"It's better than life." Both of his hands moved up and cupped my face. His heartbeat might have been steady, but mine was racing. "It's like being a god, Rose. Strength. Speed. Able to perceive the world in ways you could never imagine. And... immortality. We could be together forever."
Once, that was all I'd ever wanted. And deep inside of me, some part still wished for that, wished desperately to be with him for all time. Yet... it wouldn't be the way I wanted it. It wouldn't be like it used to be. This would be something different. Something wrong. I swallowed.
"No..." I could barely hear my own voice, barely even form the words with him touching me like that. His fingertips were so light and gentle. "We can't be."
"We could." One of his fingers trailed down the side of my chin and came to rest on the artery in my neck. "I could do it quickly. There'd be no pain. It'd be done before you even knew it." He was probably right. If you were forced to become Strigoi, you had the blood drained from you.