"He'd get over it. He can have Raquel, and then Tiago can have Coco. You see, it works out perfectly."
Carlos edged toward the door and pushed it wide open. "Emiliano is perfect for you. He's sixteen - "
"He's a boy. He can't compare to you. He doesn't have the extra powers that you have."
"I wouldn't wish my extra powers on anyone. The cost was way too high."
Teresa stepped toward him. "I know how much it cost you. You suffered through all that in order to save us. This is the least I can do to pay you back."
"You don't owe me anything, Teresa."
"But I love you," she insisted.
He winced. "Hero worship is not love. You don't know about love yet. You're too young - "
"Don't tell me that!" she cried. "I saw my parents butchered and thrown on a fire to burn. I've been through more hell than other people twice my age."
Carlos's heart wrenched in his chest. He had a tough enough time dealing with the memories that haunted him daily. How on earth could these children handle it? "Menina, you're twelve years old. I'm twenty-eight. It can't happen."
Tears streamed down her face. "I only want to help. Don't hate me."
Merda. He'd completely bungled this. And now he was afraid to even hug the girl when she was crying. "I could never hate you. Do me a favor, okay? Take a seat and don't move."
She sat at one of the tables. "I'd do anything for you, Carlos."
He groaned inwardly and ran to the administrative office. Luckily, Toni and Ian were there. He explained things quickly, and Toni rushed off to comfort Teresa.
Carlos paced across the office. His expedition couldn't wait any longer. He needed to get away from Teresa. And Caitlyn. He turned to Ian. "Do you know where Angus is?"
"He's in the security office with his wife and Caitlyn Whelan."
Carlos stiffened. What was Caitlyn doing with them? A niggling suspicion tickled the back of his neck. She'd better not be doing what he thought. He rushed into the hall just as Angus exited the security office. "I need to talk to you."
"Good. I need to talk to you." Angus opened a door. "This conference room is empty. Come on in."
Chapter Seventeen
"No! She's not coming." Carlos paced around the conference table. Fear and rage stormed inside him, growing in intensity till his skin tingled with the desire to shift. But this wasn't a physical foe he could conquer. This was a deep anguish over the fear that he would cause Caitlyn's death.
Angus sat at the head of the table, calmly watching Carlos as he prowled about the room. "She has contacts. She knows the languages. Hell, she understands every language. Ye couldna ask for a better interpreter - "
"I know all the reasons," Carlos interrupted. "I've heard it before. She's still not going."
"Ye prefer to traipse about the jungle with no idea where the big cats are? She can draw the cats to you, lad."
She can draw me to her. "It's too dangerous for her."
"She says she can handle it."
"She can't! She may be mentally and emotionally strong, but physically, she's a powder puff."
"She's going," Angus said softly. "I'm paying for the expedition, so the decision is mine."
A flash of anger ripped free from Carlos's control. His arms shimmered a second, then his hands shifted into large black paws with sharp, lethal claws. He sucked in a deep breath and concentrated hard. Beads of sweat popped out on his brow, but he succeeded in changing his hands back to normal.
Angus sat forward, leaning on his elbows. "Ye can partially shift? I heard ye can shift without a full moon, too. Ye must be an Alpha?"
Carlos shook his head wearily. "That's a werewolf term. It's completely different for cats."
"How so?"
Carlos groaned. "It has nothing to do with my trip."
"I doona care. I want to know how it works for yer kind."
Carlos slumped into a chair. He really didn't want to talk about this, but he supposed his employer had the right to know. "Were-panthers start off at level one. They shift each month on the night of a full moon. That is the only time they shift."
Angus nodded. "Like Emiliano."
"Yes." Carlos rubbed his brow. "I'm at level three, so I have more power. I can shift whenever I like. I'm faster and stronger. And I can communicate telepathically while in feline form."
"Interesting. What did ye do to reach such a level?"
Carlos twisted his mouth into a wry smile. "It doesn't require a lot of training like the wolves do. It's quite simple, really. You only have to die."
Angus sat back. "Die?"
Carlos nodded. "I died twice saving the orphans. I'm on my third life. That tale about cats having nine lives is true for were-panthers."
Angus stared at him, dumbfounded. "Ye died? Twice?"
"I really don't like to think about it."
"But yer people were slaughtered. If ye can come back to life, why did they no' - "
"Their bodies were hacked into pieces and thrown into a fire." Carlos closed his eyes briefly, trying to chase away the memories. "There's no way to come back from that."
"I see. I'm sorry."
Carlos took a deep breath. "I have witnessed enough death. I cannot endanger Caitlyn."
"Lad, if ye stay with a hill tribe and let the cats come to you, then she should be reasonably safe."
"Danger from the jungle is one thing, but she's in danger from me. Don't you see what she's up to? She'll use this trip to...seduce me."
Angus's mouth twitched. "A fate worse than death."
"It would be."
"Why? Can ye no' restrain yerself?"
Carlos clenched his fists to keep his claws from springing out. "You don't understand how much I want her."
A glint of anger sparked in Angus's eyes. "Aye, I do. I understand verra well how a man can ache and long for a special woman. But if ye want Caitlyn so much, why are ye hunting elsewhere for a mate?"
"She's not a were-panther."
"So? Can ye no' bite her and make her one? That's how the werewolves do it."
Carlos jumped to his feet and paced around the table. "It's not that easy. Changing from one species to another causes a massive genetic shift. I've seen mortal men and women die, writhing in agony, unable to survive the transformation."
Angus grimaced. "That sounds awful, but there must have been some mortals who survived the change. Ye look a lot more European than native American. Yer tribe must have brought mortals in and made them into shifters."
"That's true," Carlos conceded, "but it happened gradually over five hundred years. When the Portuguese explorers first arrived, they mated with our women. The children from those unions were mortal, but we believe they retained some latent were-panther DNA. Over the years, with all the cross-mating that occurred, there are probably thousands of Brazilian mortals with some were-panther DNA."
"Has this been documented?" Angus asked.
"No. It's just a theory, but we believe the mortals who already possess some of our DNA are the only ones who survive the transformation. We have no way of knowing, really, since we don't want to be tested in a lab and have our existence exposed."
Angus nodded. "Understandable. Maybe Roman can test it in his lab."
"Even if the theory is correct, it's not going to help us. I don't see how Caitlyn could possibly have any latent were-panther DNA. If I bite her, it would probably kill her. I can't take that chance. I care too much about her."
Angus tapped his fingers on the table. "I understand yer fear. I felt responsible for Emma's death. 'Twas a terrible time for me."
Carlos sat back down. "I can't travel with her. I have to keep rejecting her, and it hurts her feelings."
"Then tell her the truth. She deserves to know why."
Carlos stiffened. "No. She might decide to take the chance."
"'Tis her life. I believe it is her choice."
"No!" Carlos sprung back to his feet. "I'm not giving her a choice. If she dies, I couldn't live with it."
"If she lives, ye would both be verra happy."
"I'm not gambling with her life." Carlos dragged a hand through his hair. "That's what caused the massacre. My cousin married a woman from Sao Paulo, and she wanted to become a were-panther like him. She died one week after their wedding. Her father was a powerful businessman, and he went berserk with rage when he learned what had happened. He was the one who sent the thugs to murder us."