She continued to sob. “He’s right. Things have changed. He signed up for the old me, not the deaf me.”
He moved back a little and looked down so she could see his face. “Don’t you fucking dare make excuses for him. When you love somebody, you love the whole person. Losing your hearing shouldn’t have made a damn bit of difference. Yeah. I’d be sad if somebody I loved had something happen to make their life more difficult, but you don’t just fall out of love. I think real love grabs a guy by the balls and never lets him go. Superficial shit shouldn’t matter.”
Tessa wouldn’t exactly call losing one of her important senses superficial, but Xander was validating what she thought love should be. “I think so, too,” she answered softly.
Xander squeezed her shoulder. “He wasn’t the right one. Someday, you’ll grab a man’s nuts and he’ll do anything to keep you.”
Tessa snorted. Xander said whatever he thought in a pretty blunt way, but she was starting to like that about him. Obviously, there were tons of other women in the world who liked him that way, too.
By the time they pulled up in front of Rick’s house, Tessa was feeling more together. Somehow, Xander had made her feel slightly better—in his own unique way.
“Where will you go?” he asked as the car pulled to a stop.
“Home,” she said adamantly. “I think it’s time I find out who I really am.” She needed to find herself again after losing who she really was to be the woman Rick wanted. She was beginning to understand that, somewhere along the way, she’d lost herself.
“Where is home?”
“Amesport, Maine. It’s a small coastal town. My parents still live there.”
Xander shrugged his wide shoulders. “Sounds like as good a place as any to find a good guy.”
She smiled at him. “I need to find myself first.” Impulsively, she leaned over and hugged him.
The friendly embrace wasn’t awkward. In fact, Xander squeezed her tightly before he finally let her go, and Tessa savored the moment of human connection.
“Thank you,” she murmured as the door of the limo opened, the driver standing outside waiting for her to get out.
Xander put a detaining hand on her forearm. “Don’t take any shit from anybody, Tessa. Not ever. You’re a beautiful woman. Any guy would be lucky to have you. Remember that. Find out who you are before you choose your next guy. Let him love the real you.”
She nodded, getting teary-eyed as she got her last glimpse of his earnest face, touched that a complete stranger, a rock star, had listened to her woes and helped her, even though he didn’t even know her.
It was enough to almost restore her faith in the goodness of people.
“Good luck with the concert. Keep rocking the houses,” she told him with a sniffle.
“You know it,” he answered with a cocky smirk. “We always do.”
Her heart was just a little bit lighter as she watched the limo leave. It had been a strange encounter, but he’d made an impact on her life when she’d really needed a friendly acquaintance. It had been a positive experience, one of the first she’d had in quite some time, and she knew she’d never forget it.
Her packing didn’t take long. The messaging to her parents wasn’t easy, but when she left the next morning, Tessa found herself looking forward to going home.
She left the key to the mansion and her enormous diamond on Rick’s bedside table.
He had never come home, so she hadn’t needed to see him again.
The cabbie helped her stow her bags, and Tessa never looked back as they headed down the driveway.
She cried all the way to the airport, her fear of an unknown future and her disappointed hopes still tearing her apart. By the time she got to her terminal, she couldn’t weep anymore. Rick had broken her, but after a sleepless night, she realized that she’d get over being thrown aside because she was damaged.
He isn’t worth crying about anymore.
Tessa left Boston behind her and buried her pain, determined to find contentment in the small, quirky coastal town she’d always loved.
CHAPTER 1
The Present . . .
One thing she really hated about being deaf was that the only sounds she could ever hear when she was alone were her own thoughts.
Tessa Sullivan let out a contented sigh as the hot water from the shower pulsated over her naked body. Having just finished her morning run, there was no better sensation than feeling her taut muscles relaxing as the single jet above her head released a steady spray of warmth. Even though she’d gotten overheated during her jog, the cleansing heat still felt glorious.
“I’m out of shape,” she mumbled to herself, remembering how badly she had been panting after her three-mile jaunt. Skipping some of her exercise routine over the busy summer had really cost her. Tessa sighed as she realized it was going to take her a while to get back to her pre-summer distance running.
Strangely, she still talked to herself, even though she couldn’t hear. Old habits died hard, and she’d always chattered away, even as a child, whether anyone was listening or not.
Maybe she spoke out loud because it made her feel less isolated. Being deaf was lonely sometimes, and even if she couldn’t hear herself speak, her ramblings kept her company.
She soaped her body in silence, letting herself absorb a sense of peace that flowed over her soul, an experience that was occurring more and more often lately. For years, she’d lamented the loss of her hearing. Now, she was finally beginning to accept the fact that voices and noise weren’t part of her life. Tessa knew she’d always miss the sense of sound, but she’d finally realized that being deaf hadn’t changed who she was.