Najeeb had been livid at his father, but more at Mohab, if only for the interference, the duplicity. His outrage had been mitigated by his belief that he’d saved her in time. She had never exposed the depths of her fall and folly to her friend. Only wanting the mess over with, she’d made Najeeb promise he’d never confront Mohab. She’d just wanted to walk away.
Numb and feeling used, she’d stumbled home, had stood in that shower for what might have been hours. Then Mohab had come. His urgency and passion, which her senses still hadn’t been able to recognize as fake, had had her body detonating with a fireball of lust and her mind spiraling in blankness.
Afterward everything had spilled over, razing her with the devastation of fury and mortification.
After Mohab had finally gone, she’d collapsed. Not in any dramatic way, just a gradual descent into depression, her misery deepening with time and repercussions. It had taken her years to climb out.
Now, just as she was finally over her ordeal and firmly on stable footing, the man responsible for it all had come back to destroy the peace she’d struggled so long and hard for.
“So that’s why you decided you didn’t want to marry me after all, and so abruptly.”
His deep statement roused her from her musings.
She gave him the only answer he’d get from her. “It just gave me the reason to bail, as I’d been wanting to, without caring how I did it.”
“That’s why you didn’t confront me, no matter how much I pushed? You weren’t interested in hearing my defense, since you’d already decided to walk out on me?”
At her nod, he shook his head, as if deprecating himself for wanting to hear her discoveries had been the only reason behind her rejection. No doubt out of pride, as that would make her the only woman who had walked away from him. Buying her claim didn’t make things better, but it was something, since she’d rather crawl back to the airport in today’s heat wave rather than give him the triumph of knowing how fully he’d taken her in.
“So craving me was one thing, marrying me was another.”
“Who said I craved you?”
His mock reproving look sent blood surging to her loins. “Let’s not dispute the indisputable, ya jameelati. You did, and I just proved you still do.”
Her insides clenched at his taunt, his calling her his beauty. “I’m just a hot-blooded woman.”
“That’s why you were a virgin when I first took you?”
The way he said took you reverberated in her being.
For there was no other way to describe what he’d done to her that first night. Or any other time after that. He’d shown her what her body and being had always been capable of, but would have lain untapped if not for his unlocking their potential. Her wildest dreams before him hadn’t known to venture into the realms where he’d taken her.
But she’d still woken up in his arms that first time feeling anxious. Though she’d believed him to be progressive, Saraya was even more ultraconservative than Judar, and she’d feared he might despise her for surrendering to him outside the marriage bed. She feared that because it would have meant he wasn’t the man she’d fallen in love with. And if he did, she would have considered him worth nothing but good riddance, but it would still have wounded her terribly.
But he’d assuaged her fears as soon as he’d opened his eyes. He’d seamlessly played his part, had been euphoric, indulgent, even poetic about how proud he’d been that she’d bestowed her innocence on him, given him the honor of initiating her into intimacy. Then he’d asked her to marry him.
Even though she’d never thought of marriage, except to reject it, she’d found herself saying yes....
“Well?”
His challenge reminded her she hadn’t answered his taunt. “Oh, you’re harping on my being a virgin at the advanced age of twenty-one? A young woman still struggling to leave her stiflingly conservative upbringing behind? You expected me to go to the States and hop into bed with every man I fancied?”
“You’d been there for three years. Enough time to change your outlook and behavior, especially at that age, if you’d wanted to. But you fancied no one. I was your first. In every way. I know.”
“You mean as the infallible intelligence god you are?”
“No. As the man who awakened you.”
Damn him. He saw too much, knew everything.
“And once I awakened, thanks to your expert...rousing...”
“Nothing happened. You didn’t replace me in your bed.”
She gaped at him. How did he...? Did that mean...?
Before she could blow a valve, he went on calmly, “This I know as the incomparable intelligence god that I am.”
* * *
If people could explode, Jala would have, Mohab thought.
He’d tripped the one wire that could set her off. One of two wires. The first was passion, which he was gratified he could still trigger with a touch. The second was privacy.
It had always been her biggest hang-up. She’d been near obsessive about it. Her insistence on never meeting him where anyone might recognize her had at first made him think it was a cunning effort to have his cake and eat Najeeb’s, too. But as his preconceptions had melted, and she’d opened up with details of her life in Judar, he’d understood how hard-won her autonomy had been. After a lifetime of having her breaths counted and steps monitored, she’d sworn...no more.
He watched her rise, every inch aching to have her in his arms again. But that wouldn’t move anything forward. And he was afraid that if she surrendered again, he wouldn’t be able to stop.
“You had me under surveillance?” she seethed.
He sighed. Not his favorite topic, discussing his obsession with her. “I’m not good at letting go.”
“Sure. Do you have a bridge to sell me with that? So what was it, really? You forgot to call off my surveillance detail and reports kept hitting your desk?”
At his raised eyebrow, she took a furious step toward him. “We’re in full-disclosure mode, aren’t we? So how about you not pretend you didn’t have my every move documented before you approached me? It’s evident you formulated a plan to entrap me in the most time-efficient manner based on my character analysis. But after you ended my supposed threat to your crown prince, what purpose did keeping tabs on me serve? Was it to make sure I didn’t go after another of your kingdom’s princes after you made sure Najeeb found me ‘ineligible’ to be his future queen?”