His gaze found mine and he took my hand, drawing me close. “I told you, Ivy. I’ve thought about everything. I’ve made . . . peace with it.” He paused, holding my cheek with his other hand. “You don’t believe me?”
“I do.” I wanted to. “It’s just . . . I really thought you’d be disgusted with me.” I lowered my gaze to his chest. “I thought you’d be so repulsed.”
“I could never be repulsed by you.” His hand slid to the back of my neck and he squeezed. “I wish you would not think that.”
I felt like a broken record. “But you work for the Elite. It’s your duty—”
“I don’t care about my duty. Not when it comes to you.”
I started to speak, but he lowered his head, and every concern I had vanished as his lips neared mine. Ren was going to kiss me, and I hadn’t thought that would ever happen again. That we would be standing here like this. Our breaths mingled and our mouths hovered for a few precious, heart-pounding seconds, and then he was kissing me. He tasted of sugar and . . . winter mint, and as the kiss deepened, he pulled me even closer. So close that I knew we had to be drawing stares from those around us.
“Let’s go somewhere.” Ren’s lips brushed mine. “So we can be alone.”
My heart was beating all over the place, because I figured going somewhere to be alone meant he wanted to expand on the whole naughty thing he’d mentioned earlier. We had time. We weren’t due into work until that evening, but Ren really should be checking in with David.
“What do you say?” he asked, kissing me again and scattering my thoughts once more. “I just want to be alone with you right now.”
I wanted to be alone with him, too. As crazy as all of this was, it was what I needed—we needed. “Tink’s at my place.”
“What?”
“Well, of course, he’s always there,” I said, realizing how stupid that announcement was. “He actually wanted to come out and help look for you. I think he was being kind of genuine, which is a pretty big step,” I rambled on, suddenly feeling like Ren and I had just met. And maybe it was really like that, because now he knew what I was. There was nothing hidden between us. “He wanted to hide in my purse, but I figured the last thing I needed was getting caught with a brownie in my bag.”
Ren’s gaze sharpened. “Let’s not go to your apartment.”
“Your place then?” When he nodded, I ordered myself to remain cool and not break down in giddy hysterics. “Where’d you park?”
“Didn’t park,” he answered.
“No truck or motorcycle?”
Ren shook his head.
I stared up at him, brows furrowed. Why in the world would he take a cab or public transportation when he had his own vehicle? “Did you take a cab or something?”
“Didn’t feel like driving,” he replied, smiling at me. Still no dimples. “Had a lot on my mind.”
That was understandable, but also didn’t really answer why he hadn’t driven in a way that actually made sense. “Let’s head further down on Decatur,” I said. “It will be easier to catch a cab there.”
We did just that, catching a ride over to his place in the warehouse district. I did most of the talking while Ren did most of the . . . staring. His eyes were on me the entire time. That was not an exaggeration. I squirmed in the backseat of the cab, flustered and a little unnerved. His quietness was a little bizarre, but he had to have a ton of things going on in his head.
When we arrived at his place, he paid the cabbie and then we were riding up the elevator, and before I knew it, we were inside his flat.
I hadn’t even seen him unlock the door. That was how out of it I was, how caught up in my own head. This all felt like a dream.
Ren tossed his keys onto the coffee table, so obviously he had unlocked the door. “Want anything to drink?” he asked.
I shook my head as I unhooked the daggers at my waist, placing them on the coffee table next to my bag. Then I sat down on his couch. “I’m fine.”
“You’re nervous,” he pointed out, dropping into the seat beside me. “I don’t want you to be nervous.”
“Is it that obvious?”
“Yeah.” He glanced up at my messy knot. “I get that things have been . . . tough recently.”
“Tough?” I laughed, sliding my hands along my knees. “I’m just . . . I don’t know. I keep thinking this is some kind of dream. That sounds stupid, doesn’t it?”
“It’s not stupid.” Ren twisted toward me, placing his hand over mine. “I left you without giving you a chance to fully explain. I dropped off the map. It was wrong, especially after what happened to your friend.”
“Yeah, that was kind of . . . dickish.”
Ren’s eyes shone like cut gems. “I overreacted. Trust me, I regret it.”
“You do?”
“More than you will ever know,” he said.
I took a deep breath that felt like it went nowhere. “How are we going to make this work?”
“I don’t know,” he answered. “But I know we will.”
There was a lot to be said. A lot. I felt like my brain was cycling on repeat, but when he leaned in, pressing his forehead against mine, I closed my eyes and let myself just be here, in this moment, with the man I’d fallen deeply in love with.
I gripped Ren’s arms, and I don’t know how I ended up on my back, but he was over me, and the tips of his fingers were trailing down the side of my face and over the curve of my jaw. I was finding it hard to breathe.