But my intentions had not been to lead him on. It was a goodbye dance. My thoughts had been focused on Hudson the whole time. “It was innocent,” I insisted. “I needed someone. He was here. And you weren’t.”
The memory of the anxiousness that had driven me to David’s arms in the first place turned my tears bitter. “Where were you today, anyway? When I needed you?”
He matched my bitterness plus some. “What was it you needed, Alayna? Someone to keep you warm?”
I pressed my lips together, hoping to squelch the sob threatening to escape. “That hurts.”
“What I just witnessed hurts.”
That wasn’t news, but hearing him say it twisted my heart all the same. I’d experienced that same hurt—when I’d seen him kissing Celia on the video, then again earlier today, when she’d suggested they’d had an affair. Perhaps it wasn’t fair to compare her probable lies with what he’d witnessed in person, but he had to see where I was coming from. “Yeah, I know how it feels.”
“Do you?” Even that tiny phrase was filled with enough venom to smart.
It triggered more of my own snark. “Yeah, I do. Let me see if I can explain it. It feels like your gut has been wrenched out of your body. At least that’s what it felt like when Celia told me that you’d been f**king her for most of the time we’ve been together.”
“What?” He seemed truly surprised, and not in the I’ve-been-caught way, but in the what-the-eff-is-she-talking-about way. It was the same expression he’d had when I’d mentioned him having more of an involvement with Stacy. “When did she say that?”
“Today,” I grumbled, already regretting bringing Celia up this way.
“You saw her today?” His eyes narrowed. “Does this have something to do with the phone message she left me?”
“I knew she’d call you!” And if she had, why hadn’t he called me? “What did she say?”
He shook his head dismissively. “She was raving nonsense. Something about you and her lawyer. I figured it was more of her shit from before so I deleted it.”
Hudson took a step toward me, and I noticed his eyes had softened, that instead of pain the predominant feature was now worry. “What happened with her? Was she following you again? What did she do? And why didn’t Reynold call me?”
I leaned on the desk behind me. “He didn’t know.” Guilt pressed on my chest, not only for ditching my bodyguard, but for Hudson’s willingness to set aside his ache out of concern for me.
The expression on his face magnified my shame. “Please don’t look at me like that. I’m sorry. I was stir-crazy so I grabbed my computer and went for coffee. I thought when I set the alarm to away that Reynold might notice, but I guess it didn’t inform him.”
Hudson’s mouth tightened. “It only texts when you set it for home.”
I was a little surprised that he hadn’t set the system to monitor all my comings and goings. It wasn’t like him. At a more appropriate time, I’d try to remember to be impressed. “Anyway, I just went to the bakery down the street. And Celia showed up. And I was sick of it. So I approached her.”
“You approached her?” Not only was his eye twitching and his jaw tense, but his hand was shaking as well. I hadn’t seen that from him before. Was he that angry?
“I did. It was stupid. I know it was stupid. But Stacy had sent me one of the emails that you had supposedly sent her, and I was reading it, and I could tell it wasn’t from you. I recognized one of the quotes used from one of the books Celia highlighted, and I knew the email was from her. So I confronted her about it. About writing the email.” The story spilled out in babble that I wasn’t even sure he could comprehend.
Apparently he did. “And she told you then that I was with her? Just out of the blue?”
I cringed. He wouldn’t like what I had to say next, but it was best to get it all out. “First, I showed her Stacy’s video.” After checking for his reaction, which I couldn’t read, I went on. “Then she said that you were together. That you were a couple. That you f**ked her that night and it wasn’t the first time and it wasn’t the last.”
If Hudson’s face grew any redder, steam would come out of his ears. “And you believed her?”
I squared my shoulders. “It pissed me off enough that I punched her.” Yeah, I admit it, I sounded proud.
“You punched her?” There went the steam.
That hadn’t been the reaction I’d wanted. “You know what? Keep acting like this is an interrogation and I’m out of here.”
Hudson paced the room, pushing his hands through his hair. When he stopped to focus on me again, he’d regained some composure, though his shoulders were still tight and his voice strained. “I’m sorry if I sound a bit tense, Alayna. I assure you it’s only out of concern for you.”
I studied him for several seconds. It was out of concern—I saw it now. His eyes were pinned on me, his shaking wasn’t out of anger; it was fear. Fear for me. The extent that he cared for me was limitless. It was as obvious as the color of his eyes.
The realization calmed me. I pulled back every ounce of snark and venom and gave him raw honesty in its place. “Yes, I punched her. I think I broke her nose. So I’m probably going to get some sort of assault charge for that. That’s why I needed you.”
“Alayna.” His eyes radiated with love. “Why didn’t you call me?”
“I did! Your phone was off. I could have left a message, but I didn’t want to say all that over voicemail, and I didn’t want to interrupt your meeting because I knew it was important.”
“Not as important as you.” He wanted to come to me—the urge was palpable. But there was still that other thing hanging in between us—the moment he’d walked in on—and so he sat on the arm of the couch instead, his hands playing with the bunched fabric of his slacks. “Have the police contacted you?”
I shook my head. “I was afraid to go back to the house so I came here to wait for your call.”
His eyes settled on his shoes. “I got your text when I was already in flight. I didn’t call because I knew I’d end up telling you I was on my way home, and I wanted it to be a surprise.” He laughed gruffly. “I took a nap instead. I should have called.”
Now it was my eyes that studied the floor. “I should have kept my cool.”