Ameenah winced. “He’d gotten the Tribune to amend the king’s ruling. Now a male child is needed to settle the succession.”
So that was why Farooq wanted—no, needed a male child, at once. And he must be secure thinking she was probably pregnant by now, had no reason to suspect she was damaged, barren…Oh God.
She couldn’t tell him, couldn’t bear to. But she had to do what she’d known needed to be done. Retreat from his life.
Before it was too late…
Carmen had gone out, had taken her car and banned her guards from joining her. He’d waited for her to come back, refusing to jump to conclusions again.
She came into their quarters, pale, subdued. He went to her, tried to take her in his arms. His heart squeezed when she avoided them, dread rising as she stumbled to the far side of the room, overlooking the sea.
Then she said, “I want a divorce, Farooq.”
And there was nothing left. In existence. In him.
She wasn’t finished. “I—I beg you not to let this affect Mennah, that you’ll let her have her mother.”
He discovered many things were left. There was agony and disillusion and despair. There was a woman who’d conquered him, who’d taught him the meanings of unity and destiny and bliss, only to gut him and throw him into hell.
“What is Tareq paying you? How is he making you do this to me?”
She jerked at his accusation, her shoulders shaking. Was she crying? Shocked?
She must be. Now she’d turn, explain this insanity away…
She turned. “It doesn’t matter, Farooq. Just let me go.”
No. No. He’d only accused her to hear her denial, would have believed anything she said. But what she’d said implied her guilt.
He advanced on her, sanity draining in every step. “If you can side with a criminal like Tareq when I made you my princess, gave you my love, myself, I can’t trust you near Mennah.”
Horror shredded her numb mask. “No. You know I’m a good mother…please…I’ll do anything if you let me stay near her…”
He hit bottom, knew he’d do anything to hang on to her. Even use Mennah. “You want Mennah, you remain my wife.”
“But I’ll never give you more children,” she shrieked.
“Why?” he thundered. “Because you won’t sleep with me now that your mission is accomplished? Now that you broke me?
It was she who broke down, heaped to the floor. Her anguish pummeled them both. The moment he could move, breathe, her broken whisper paralyzed him again.
“I had endometriosis. Was declared infertile by a dozen specialists…Steve divorced me because I couldn’t provide an heir to his family fortune. That was why I thought it safe to make love without protection…why I ran from you to protect my miracle baby. After I had her my condition became crippling and I couldn’t afford the endless procedures and the incapacitation when I had to take care of her. This scar is not only from my C-section. It is where I had a hysterectomy.”
He staggered, the bolt of horror almost felling him. He clutched his head. “Ya Ullah, ya Ullah…”
Horror became panic as Carmen withered before his eyes. She’d misunderstood, was staggering up, stumbling away.
He caught her, tears he’d only ever shed on his father’s and mother’s graves scouring his face.
“Stop wasting time on me, Farooq,” she wailed. “You might have jeopardized everything because of me already. But I didn’t know, or I would have told you, risked anything, even seeing this look—oh God—tears in your eyes…”
“You think it’s sadness for myself? It’s all for you, for what you went through without me by your side, what you lost, what you might not have lost if I was there, giving you all the time and support to explore treatment options. I am agonized, for your agony and absolutely unfounded insecurities. You are more than I dreamed to have. I would have chosen you even if you hadn’t given me Mennah. I do choose you, over the world.”
“You can’t,” she screamed. “I thought I’d have more time with you, until you married the Aal Shalaan bride, but now you must marry any woman who can give you a male child before Tareq.”
“You know everything…ya Ullah…” he choked.
Her nod was a quake. “That’s why I didn’t defend myself, so you’d leave me at once, while there was time to beat him to it.”
“You’d do that for me? Paint yourself black…”
“I will do anything for you. You are my life. But I beg you, don’t force me to stay near you, to see you in another woman’s arms, see her get big with your child…”
She collapsed by degrees, clinging to him, ending up at his feet, racking sobs tearing her apart.
He stood paralyzed, a vise clamping his chest and back. This had to be how men lost their minds, had strokes and heart attacks. Being accosted by pain too big to encompass, loss too huge to endure. But no, he’d never lose her. Never.
“Carmen, ahleflek ya maboodati, I swear to you…”
What would he swear? That he didn’t need a male child? That all she’d said wasn’t true? It was. But it didn’t have to be.
He swooped down, swept her up in his arms.
It was time to change a few truths.
“Carmen and I will not have more children, ya Maolai.”
Farooq had been about to demand an immediate audience with his uncle when the king beat him to it. He’d taken Carmen with him. Now she stood squirming in his hold, looking everywhere but at their king, who had eyes only for her, the new daughter he’d gained.
“I refuse the demand of providing a male heir for the succession. You must, too, or you’ll be succumbing to Tareq’s manipulation and to outdated notions. You yourself have no sons, and you are the happiest man I know with your wife and the daughters she gave you. You only worry about the succession because Tareq would make a disastrous king. I don’t have that to worry about. I have my brothers as my successors, and I’m sure their children, when they one day have them, will be worthy successors, too.”
Still casting his tired yet affectionate and compassionate gaze on Carmen’s bent head, the king said, “That’s why I summoned you. I gathered the Tribune to debate the male child criterion. I reminded them a wife and child were proof of stability and responsibility, that the gender of the child is irrelevant and that we all know who between you and Tareq is king material. Things were up in the air until your latest intelligence on Tareq checked out as we convened. I presented the damning evidence but couldn’t secure consent to a trial. I settled for banishing him from Judar and stripping him of his titles and wealth.”