Now, for the first time, I cared about what I did to Reeve instead of just caring about what he did to me. I’d hurt him, and that felt shitty.
“Look.” I sighed, trying to lessen the blow. “I don’t know why you think that’s an impossible conclusion to jump to. You’ve done everything in your power to keep me frightened of the things you were capable of.”
He laughed, a dark ha that held very little humor. “You wanted me like that, Emily. You wanted me to be the man who would frighten you, and don’t you try to say for a moment that you didn’t.”
“Just because it’s what I wanted doesn’t mean that’s not who you really are.”
“No. I guess it doesn’t.” His eyes met mine, and again I saw all the emotion he’d shown me downstairs, his pupils like a dark and turbulent storm. He held me in that gaze for several long seconds.
Then he took another step toward me. “I told you what happened. I told you she left here, alive. You didn’t believe me? I thought you trusted me. You acted like you trusted me.”
It was an opening – a chance for me to fix everything, and I knew it. I’d told him once that, for me, trust equaled love. He’d wanted me to trust him because he’d wanted me to love him. He wanted me to say it now.
But I didn’t trust him. And I did love him. I could have told him that, and it might have made a difference.
Funny how the idea of actually admitting my affection was so much more frightening than believing he was a killer.
Somehow I managed to keep my eyes on him when I spoke next. “I never said I trusted you.”
He shook his head in disbelief. “This is not when we have this conversation. Not when we’re tired and stressed.” He turned back toward the bed.
I swallowed the ball in my throat. “Fine.” Then I headed for the door.
“Where are you going? You sleep with me.”
Those were the old rules – I slept with him when he was at the ranch. Now that Amber was here, I wasn’t sure what the rules were. And if I had rules, surely she’d had rules too. When they’d been together, where had Amber been required to sleep? Surely she hadn’t been allowed to sleep alone either.
Jealousy tugged at the pit of my stomach. I pushed it away. “I’m not leaving her side.”
“Emily, there’s nothing you can —”
I swiveled back in his direction, cutting him off. “I’m not leaving her!”
There was a part of me that wanted to ignore my desperate need to keep vigil in Amber’s room and stay instead with Reeve. Though we hadn’t yet said everything we’d needed to, I knew enough to understand that he’d forgive me for my wrongs if I let him.
The truth was, I could probably forgive him for his wrongs as well.
But Amber’s presence changed everything. I’d made promises to her long before I’d thought about making promises to Reeve. I’d vowed to never come between her and a man, and although she’d left Reeve, I couldn’t climb back into his bed until I was sure she understood the circumstances.
“Fine. Don’t leave her.” Reeve crossed to me in three easy steps. He grabbed my upper arms and pulled me close, his touch sending an unexpected jolt through my veins. I hadn’t forgotten what he’d said before she’d shown up. That he’d loved Amber’s best friend, and now I was sure that he’d meant me when he said it.
The full force of that hit me now – he loved me. He loved me enough to say it out loud.
But he’d loved her too.
He locked his eyes with mine. “This doesn’t change anything, Emily. You still belong to me.”
He allowed that to settle before he let me go. Then he shut off the light and returned to the bed.
I shut the door behind me and leaned heavily against it. Closing my eyes, I let out a long slow breath, replaying his last words over and over in my head. You still belong to me. You still belong to me.
Yes. I did belong to him.
But I belonged to Amber too.
CHAPTER 3
I woke with a start, my heart pounding and my throat dry.
“He just left,” a voice said behind me.
Turning, I found Joe sitting on a chair beside the love seat I’d camped out on. His feet were propped up on the arm of the couch, and he was reading something on his cell. The chair he was sitting on had been across the room before, and its new location disoriented me.
Stifling a yawn, I asked, “Who just left?”
“Sallis.” Joe pocketed his phone and shifted his attention to me. “You called his name just now.”
“I did?” I tried to remember what I’d been dreaming but couldn’t. Judging by the angle of the light streaming in the window, I’d slept through the morning. “What time is it anyway?”
“It’s a little after one.” He looked me over. “Have you been here the whole time?”
After leaving Reeve’s room earlier, I’d stopped by my room to dump my dirty clothes and shower. The scent of sex had still clung to me and although I was probably the only one who could smell it, I’d needed to get it off of me. Needed to hide any evidence of my relationship with Reeve – for now.
Then I changed into yoga pants and a T-shirt and came down to Amber’s room. Jeb had given me the love seat and with his hat over his face, he’d snoozed in the armchair, the one Joe sat in now, when it was still across the room.
“Basically. I don’t remember falling asleep.” Rubbing the sleep out of my eyes, I noticed a thermos on the side table between us. “Is this for me?”