I sat with her statement, unsure how to let it settle. Somehow I’d forgotten that about her – forgotten that, even though she was a natural princess, she could play submissive when she needed to.
And what a time for her to remind me.
She was honest, at least. I was grateful for that, and, if I had any inkling to begrudge her for taking that position, I knew I had to swallow it. Because flexibility had been one of the most basic rules of our man-hunting. I’d focused on that very idea when I’d prepared myself to go after Reeve – be who he wants you to be. And I had been.
But then I’d fallen for him, and when I had, it had been genuine and the ways I’d won him had been honest. It bothered me that she had to pretend in order to fight for his affection. Almost as much as it bothered me that he’d taken advantage of her willingness to do so.
I lowered my feet to the floor. “I’m sorry he put you in this position.” I cringed at my words as soon as they were out. I couldn’t apologize for him, and I didn’t want to. “I’m sorry I put you in this position,” I corrected. God, what a mess.
“Not any more sorry than I am for dragging you into this to begin with.”
Oh, yeah. That.
We’d shift blame all day if we didn’t stop now. Blame wasn’t productive.
Thankfully, she knew it as well as I did. “No more apologies.” She started to get up, and then paused to place a hand on my knee. “It’s early and I haven’t had coffee or a smoke. We can talk more about this later, if you want. But, come to the island with us. Okay?”
She gave me the same look that Reeve had given her. The one that said I know you’ll do what I want so I don’t even need to hear you agree.
At that moment, I hated seeing that look on her face as much as I’d ever loved seeing it on Reeve’s. My hatred for it, as much as the power it held over me, kept me from answering – I didn’t want to and I didn’t need to.
But I did have one more thing that had to be said. The thing that I hadn’t truly decided until just then. Because it was the hardest thing. “I’m not playing the game anymore, Amber. Not with Reeve.”
There it was – my official relinquishing of the man we both loved. It seemed like it should have been a bigger moment than it was. Like, the dark cloud above me should burst open and light should shine down with the heavens recognizing my good deed.
But it wasn’t that. It was almost not even a moment at all. Especially when Amber’s acknowledgment of it was simply to nod and say, “I know you don’t want to.” She stood and then turned back to me. “But I’m not sure you have a choice.” Then she left the room.
With a soft groan, I threw my head back against the couch.
“That was one hell of a strange conversation,” Joe said. He’d been so quiet, I’d almost forgotten he was there.
“It’s complicated.” Why I kept defending our relationship, I had no idea. “The best thing for all of us would be for me to leave, and you know it. So why do you want me to go with them? I know you don’t like Reeve.”
Joe leaned forward and leveled his stare at me. “I don’t have to like him to recognize his strengths. He is more powerful than I am, Emily. He has resources and connections at his fingertips that I don’t. You’re vulnerable right now. It pisses the shit out of me that he’s the one who put you in this vulnerable position, but that doesn’t negate the fact that he’s the best option for your safety.”
He considered for a moment then added, reluctantly, “Also I actually believe that protecting you is a priority for him.”
“So you think I should go to the island.” I already knew I was going to go. I was only fighting it because I was unhappy about it. “How long am I supposed to stay there?”
“Until Reeve works out a truce with Vilanakis. Meanwhile, I’ll take care of making your home back in LA secure so that it will be ready for you to come back to.”
I pinched the corners of my eyes, fighting again against the tears.
Joe apparently assumed it was because I was scared. “Hey. You’re going to be fine. Chris blabbed, and that’s what got him in trouble. We’re not even entirely sure it was Vilanakis behind his death. It could have been an accidental overdose.”
Considering Chris’s previous drug problems, that was certainly a possibility. But the timing of it had been too coincidental. I was 99 percent sure that Michelis had ordered a hit on Chris and that the phone call Petros had taken for his father when I’d been with them was someone telling him that the job had been completed. He’d wanted me to witness that. Wanted me to be an alibi and, at the same time, wanted to give me a message – This is what I’m capable of. Watch how easily I can get rid of a problem.
It was a scare tactic, and it worked.
An idea occurred to me. A very much unwanted idea that had to be voiced. “You know, Reeve took that article about Chris and me better than I’d expected. He’s been much more jealous than that in the past. All he said was that he’d handle it instead of getting mad like I thought he would.”
“He did handle it. He leaked that article about you and him in response. It was a smart move.” The Google alert must have finally reached Joe’s in-box. “You knew about it, didn’t you?”
“Yes. But…” I decided not to bring up that I hadn’t known about it until after the fact. I was still angry about it – it just wasn’t foremost on my mind.