Why hadn’t she confessed all after their night together?
She knew why. Because she loved him. Because she had known even then that when the truth was finally out, she would lose this time with him.
Now she had to pay the price.
She lifted one hand to reach for him, then let it fall to her side, an unfulfilled wish. “It was. I hated lying to you. After that first day, I knew it was a mistake. But I couldn’t find a way to tell you the truth, either.”
“That’s a lie, too, Ivy,” he said quietly. “You didn’t want to tell me. You were too busy trying to win me over.”
“Okay yes,” she admitted. “That was part of it. Sure. When Mitchell—”
His eyes went wide and a fast rush of color filled his cheeks. “Mitchell? Damn it, I hadn’t thought. Of course Mitchell was in this with you. He’s the one who hired you! He had to know who you really were.”
“Don’t blame him,” she said quickly, wishing she could pull her own words back. She hadn’t meant to spill the beans on Tanner’s friend and lawyer. That part had slipped out. “He called to talk to me about the complaints you’d been making and we started talking and things…” she threw her hands up in the air helplessly, “…just took off from there. I don’t even remember whose idea it was originally.”
“That’s perfect,” he muttered. “My best friend is in this with you. Both of you lying to me.”
“You didn’t give us much choice, Tanner,” she snapped, feeling the growing edge of temper beginning to boil within.
He laughed. “So this is my fault?”
“No. I didn’t say that,” she said. “All I’m saying is that you don’t make it easy, Tanner. You won’t talk to people. You shut yourself away in this house and—”
“You’ve been here two weeks, Ivy. Every damn day for two weeks. You’ve had plenty of chances to talk to me. You just didn’t.”
“I knew going into this that I shouldn’t lie to you, but I didn’t know what else to do.”
“Talk to me? Tell me the damn truth?”
“Oh, because you were so easy to have a conversation with,” she retorted, feeling the sting of his accusation even as she admitted he wasn’t that far wrong.
“You’re really something,” he said and his voice was low and tight. “You had me fooled. I really bought it all—hook, line and sinker. Have a good laugh every night when you went home, did you?”
“It wasn’t like that,” she insisted, wondering how she could salvage any of this.
“Then how was it?” His eyes narrowed on her as he chuckled darkly. “Must have panicked you when I showed up over at the farm.”
“Yeah,” she said. “It did.”
“Now that I think back on it, you did look more than surprised to see me. But I’ve gotta hand it to you. You recover fast.”
Temper and misery were warring inside her and they were so tangled up now, she couldn’t even separate them. His jaw was tight, his full mouth flattened into a grim line and his eyes were practically throwing off sparks.
“You took me on a tour,” he said, with a slow shake of his head. “Introduced me to the owner, or who I thought was the owner…” He stopped, tipped his head to one side and waited for her to fill in the blank.
“My grandfather. Mike Angel.”
“Right.” He nodded. “So the family that lies together stays together?”
Okay, he could say what he wanted about her, maybe she deserved most of this. But her grandfather was off-limits. Mike had been against this from the beginning and damned if she was going to stand there and let Tanner King insult him.
“Pop had nothing to do with it,” she told him. “He tried to stop me.”
“But he didn’t.”
“No.” His eyes were so dark now, Ivy couldn’t even read the anger there anymore. He was locking himself away even as she stood there and watched him. Shutting her out. Shutting himself down. And there was nothing she could do to prevent it.
Seconds ticked past and the only sound was Hairy’s tail thumping against the floor as if he were somehow trying to reach one or both of them.
“What about the sex, Ivy?” Those words were whispered, but the force behind them was clear enough. “All that a lie, too? You turn yourself into a martyr for the cause?”
Insulted now, she straightened up, lifted her chin and looked him dead in the eye. “No, it wasn’t a lie. None of it was.”
“And I should believe you because you’re such an upright, honest person.”
“You should believe me,” she said, “because that was the most beautiful night of my life.”
He tipped his head to one side and looked at her as though he’d never seen her before. “I don’t believe you. I think you were closing your eyes and thinking of England.”
“What?”
“Old joke,” he told her grimly. “And not funny.”
“And not correct, either.” This time, she did reach up to him but he jerked his head back before she could touch his face. “Tanner, I slept with you for one reason and one reason only.”
He backed her up against the kitchen counter until she felt the icy edge of the granite against her spine. “What are you going to tell me now, Ivy? Truth? Or another lie?”
“I won’t lie to you again, Tanner.”
“Right.”
He was waiting and he was looming and he was taking up every square inch of breathable air in the room. Her body was humming because of his closeness even while her stomach spun with nerves.
The temper building inside her was frothing, bubbling up through the thick layer of regret coating her stomach. Did he really believe she could have slept with him just to save her farm? Did he know her so little? Think so little of her? Yes, she’d lied, but that didn’t mean she was a horrible person. For God’s sake, they’d shared more than his bed. They’d spent time together, talked, laughed.
She’d fallen in love with him and all the while, he hadn’t known her at all.
What a joke on her, Ivy thought. She’d lost her first love through an accident and now she’d lost the love of her life through her own damn fault. But maybe, she decided as she watched him watching her, they never would have stood a chance anyway. Because Tanner King didn’t want to need anyone. And she needed to be needed.