Now it was his turn to look surprised. His hand flew to his hair. “What? I didn’t—”
I knew I should drop it, but I didn’t. “You’ve been playing with me. Maybe because you like me, but mostly because you like messing around with women. You get off on it.” I didn’t know why I was saying all of this, or why I was suddenly so angry. His wide-eyed refusal to take responsibility rubbed me the wrong way.
“That’s not true,” he said with an edge in his voice. “Though, I’ll admit that the lines can become a little blurred for me.”
Luke looked ashamed. I bit my lip. He’s done so much for me.
“Well, me too,” I said in a thick voice. My cheeks flamed again and I felt frustrated with how little control I had over my body. “I’m not faking any of this.”
His eyes gleamed. “Yes, that’s why I picked you. I don’t know why, but I almost believe you when you say that you wouldn’t sue me.”
Even with his sad smile, I couldn’t get over how handsome he looked. I longed to run my fingers through his thick dark hair, and kiss that vein that jumped in his throat. I put my makeup down and faced him. “Isn’t it exhausting to constantly be on guard with people?”
“Jessica, I’ve been hurt so many times by people I thought I trusted. Virtually everyone has sold a story about me to the press.”
He couldn’t or wouldn’t trust me, but I couldn’t hold it against him even though it hurt. I didn’t know what it was like to be him. “Can I ask you something personal?” Without waiting for a response, I asked it anyways: “Are you lonely?”
He opened his mouth and closed it. He didn’t have to answer; I saw the truth in his eyes. “Yes,” he said. “I suppose I’ve always been.”
Me too. Something expanded in my chest and I wanted to reach forward and touch him, but Luke backed from the doorway and shut the door.
* * *
“Can we use the Tube?”
He looked at me with suppressed annoyance. “We’ll be mobbed if we use the Tube.”
“No, we won’t!”
We were already being followed by a silent, creepy group of paparazzi. I held Luke’s hand and practically skipped down the streets of London. The sky looked like a thick gray blanket that dropped icy sheets of rain on our heads. Luke did his best to keep us dry with his umbrella. The rain didn’t dampen my spirits. I’d probably never get the chance to do walk London’s streets again.
“Oh, come on. Let’s just use it once.” I was dying to experience the city like a real Londoner.
Luke sighed in resignation. “Well, fine.”
We quickly descended the steps into the Piccadilly tube station. Luke shook some change out of his pocket and dumped it into the ticket machine. I took one of the two pieces of paper the machine spat out, then walked through the barrier to the trains. Luke took a quick glance at the tube map before pulling me to the right towards the Bakerloo line.
A slew of tourists and people commuting to work crowded the brick-lined underground. Luke smiled to himself as he bounced on his soles.
“What is it?”
He shook his head, still smiling. “Nothing, this just brings back memories.”
Across the station, a man photographed us. I casually leaned against Luke, who wrapped his arm around my waist automatically. I laid my head against his chest and smiled sweetly as he kissed my head.
“Later tonight, I might meet up with an old friend. You’re welcome to come, of course.”
An old friend? Sounds interesting. “Yeah, I’d like to.” I lifted my head towards his voice and caught his bottom lip. He squeezed my back so that my breasts were flattened against his chest and I could feel his steady heartbeat, while mine raced. I felt the irritating rush of heat in my chest and I couldn’t understand how he could remain so calm. We broke our faces apart, but Luke still held me against him, looking at me as though I was the only girl in the universe.
“Does he know about me?”
“He knows that I’m dating someone. I haven’t told anyone about our arrangement, and I plan on keeping it that way.”
I nodded as a rush of wind soared through the tunnel, whipping my hair around. I unglued myself from Luke’s chest, and we walked over a line of yellow that demanded we Mind The Gap. The train was packed with people and we were sandwiched together. I couldn’t help by laugh a little at the discomfort on Luke’s face.
“Not used to being pressed up against the common folk, are you?” I whispered.
He laughed nervously and quickly glanced around at the people surrounding us. “Jessica,” he whispered. “Someone might hear.”
“No one heard me.”
“It’s just a bit awkward. I’m not used to public transport.”
“I thought you said you took the metro all the time as a kid.”
“That was then.”
Luke held onto the rail with his sleeves, probably to avoid the layer of germs coating it.
“Well, consider it payback for laughing at me on the airplane.”
We transferred to another line and finally arrived at the Westminster station. When we climbed out, Big Ben stood right in front of me like a giant. Even in the overcast weather, the tower shined in a dark gold brilliance. I craned my neck to look at the black hands sitting on a white circle surrounded by a golden ring. The parliament building wrapped around Big Ben. We walked down the street and over the bridge, weaving around tourists to look down at the River Thames snaking through the city. A giant Ferris wheel was northeast of us. Luke leaned over the bridge and watched my fascination with a happy look on his face.
“That’s the London Eye,” he said, pointing to the wheel.
“It’s incredible.”
There was nothing like this where I had grown up. We walked back towards Big Ben, the snarl of traffic shuddering down the streets, the red double decker busses groaning as they passed us. Luke grabbed my arm and pulled me back violently when I almost walked into oncoming traffic. Out of habit, I looked left instead of right.
“Thanks,” I said as bright red patches burned my cheeks. “I’m not used to it yet.”
“Close call.”
I recognized some of the statues in the Parliament Square as we walked around it. I noticed a long line of people outside one of the buildings. A large gothic church stood in front of the square with three bold arches covering the three doors. The one in the middle was the largest, and it was where the line formed. “Is that—?”