But Alyx wasn’t done torturing me. “And you still sleep in the same bed?”
“Sometimes,” I mumbled, blinking rapidly as I answered because my eyes were, like, really, really itchy.
Daria’s tone was gentle when she asked, “Yanna, what if you tried not saying it?”
I shook my head.
“God, you’re still such an iron head,” Alyx burst out. It was a nickname that my dad came up with when I was sixteen and I had stubbornly stalked him in one of his golfing tournaments until he gave in and let me have surfing lessons. Since my friends had been tagging along behind me, the nickname sort of stuck.
“I know.” My parents hadn’t wanted me to take surfing lessons because they knew how I tended to panic when I got in too deep. And they were right. I did panic and almost drowned in my first lesson. I sort of knew that would happen but I wanted to give it a try anyway. I just wasn’t the type to back down without trying, and that was exactly how things were with Constantijin and me.
Nik began, “You’re placing too much pressure---”
“But it’s not supposed to be that way,” I blurted out before I could stop myself. “It’s not, like, bad for me to love him. I won’t stop saying it.”
“Even if you know he doesn’t want to hear it?” Daria asked with a sad smile.
Biting my lip to stop it from trembling, I said simply, “Even if he kicks me out of his life because of it.”
Day Thirty-Five
Constantijin was staring at me, his silvery eyes burning as he took in the deep V of the gown I had decided to wear for tonight’s fundraiser, which was also organized by his parents.
I did a little twirl, just so he could appreciate that the black silky gown didn’t have any back either. I also hoped he’d notice my pretty hairstyle, which I spent a hundred dollars for. I didn’t do it to compete with the other women in the party, though. I just wanted to be pretty enough so that Constantijin would remember I still…existed.
“That seems sexier than your usual,” he finally murmured, his eyes still on my br**sts, which – right now – were worth staring at since just a quarter of them was left covered. Even though I felt like a total slut for wearing this gown, it felt good, too.
I shrugged in answer. “Is it?”
And that was that.
The ride to the hotel was spent in silence, completely unlike how Constantijin and I used to talk – or make love – if we had even just a minute alone inside his limousine.
Tonight was another occasion I would have to rub elbows with the rich and famous, but it wasn’t why my heart was racing in fear. In the weeks that Constantijin and I had been…okay…with each other, I had learned how to effectively navigate my way around these parties. All I had to do was stand next to Constantijin, smile, and pretend I didn’t notice the horrid looks and words that everyone was throwing at me behind my back. Eventually, you just didn’t notice them at all because you got so used to it.
I smoothed nonexistent wrinkles on my gown, using it to keep my hands from being restless. I was nervous because this was the first time we’d be out as a couple – and not feel like it. It was also the first time we’d meet his parents again after Marge decorated the apartment Constantijin had loaned out to me.
We talked on the phone frequently, and every time we did I tried my very best to pretend I was fine – that her son and I were fine. But I wasn’t confident at all I could do the same face to face.
The driver parked directly in front of the hotel’s red carpet entrance, where behind the velvet ropes a throng of reporters and cameramen waited. Constantijin stepped out first and turned towards me, his hand outstretched.
I couldn’t make myself take it, not when I knew he didn’t really want to touch me at all outside our bedroom.
But --- pride cometh before a fall and the moment I stepped out of the limousine, I tripped on the hem of my gown. I would have fallen flat on my face if Constantijin hadn’t managed to catch me. He barely managed to actually, almost missing out in catching me.
I fell on him, Constantijin bent halfway backwards, his head squashed between my br**sts.
Camera bulbs flashed, followed by shouts and catcalls.
We quickly pulled away, Constantijin coughing while I turned red in embarrassment. Then our eyes met and suddenly we were laughing.
I was so relieved at how everything felt incredibly right between us I wanted to cry.
“Ah, Yanna. Now I’m beginning to see the benefits of those br**sts.”
“Shut up,” I hissed, but he only laughed harder as I felt my cheeks flushing a deeper shade of red at his words.
Guiding my arm to curl around his, he slowly led us down the red carpet. “But it was fun, getting squished by your br**sts. I could see the headlines. Constantijin Kastein’s Girlfriend is the Breast Squisher.”
“Shut up or I’ll kill you!” I couldn’t help looking around to check if someone had heard him or worse someone was already quoting him in a tweet.
He stopped a few feet away from the hotel’s revolving doors. “I’ll promise to shut up about it---”
“But?” I finally asked in exasperation, realizing that he wasn’t going to speak until I asked.
“You have to kiss me first. Here. In front of everyone.” And as if that wasn’t enough, he added helpfully, “With tongue please.”
I already wanted to die in embarrassment just by imagining what he was asking me to do. “I can’t,” I wailed.
"Constantijin! Yanna!" Marge’s voice reached us first and we had already a respectable distance between us by the time his mother joined us at the red carpet.
More flashes followed, and Marge gamely posed for it, pulling us close to her on each side.
“Why, you look terribly red, Yanna,” Marge said when she decided the paparazzi had enough photos of us and turned to me with a smile.
“I’m…good.” God, I couldn’t even make myself look at her. I felt like she had just caught us making out.
“Are you sure?” She turned to Constantijin. “Darling, don’t you think---oh.”
My head jerked up in confusion at her tone and then I saw her staring with open-mouthed shock at Constantijin, whose beautifully fit pants suddenly appeared too tight for his body.
“Constantijin!” she reprimanded, her own cheeks reddening as the newsmen around us caught us and camera bulbs started flashing again.
“Let me take care of that monster,” a woman behind me muttered.