He opened the black velvet box, and inside sat a ring, a beautiful ring with a large square diamond in the center and smaller diamonds framing it, the band simple and delicate and absolutely the most brilliant thing I'd seen in my life.
I couldn't breathe as he watched me hopefully.
"I know we said we'd wait. I know we're young, and I know things won't be easy. But I can't leave without you. I can't be without you. The thought of leaving you here … the thought of spending the next year without you is too much. I don't want to live without you, not for a second longer than I have to. Marry me, Elliot."
"Wade," I breathed. "Of course I'll marry you. But—"
His lips were on mine, his arms around my waist as mine circled his neck blissfully, all the 'buts' flying away on flickering wings.
I laughed softly as he pulled away, and he laughed into my neck, peppering it with kisses.
"I'm only seventeen, Wade."
"Just until September, and then you're legal." I could feel him smirking against my skin.
"What about high school? I can't exactly leave right this minute."
He leaned back so he could look down at me with a smile on his face. "I'll go to boot camp, get stationed, and I'll come back just after your birthday. That's when we'll do it."
My hands rested on his shoulders as I watched him. "What about our families?"
He shrugged, and my arms rose and fell. "What about them? We can take care of ourselves. I'll have a job with a salary, hopefully base housing, insurance, the works. And I know Dad will help however he can. As for your family — who cares? Because they'll never be there for you, not like we want them to be. Not like I can be there for you. And as for high school, you can finish your classes online. Easy."
I laughed and kissed him. "Easy to say."
He tightened his hold on me. "We can run away. Elope. Have a huge party. Get married in a church. Get married by an Elvis impersonator. I don't care how. I just want you to be mine, forever. I want you where I am. It's that simple."
I took a breath and let it out. "And when you're deployed?"
"Come back and stay with Dad and Sophie. Stay wherever I'm stationed. Whatever you want."
"You make it sound so simple."
He pulled me even closer, bringing my body flush with his. "I love you. You love me. Everything else is details." He angled for my lips, kissing me between hushed sentences. "Wherever I go, you go. Forever. Because I'll love you forever, Elliot."
My heart burned, lit up like a beacon for him, and he lay me down, held me, whispered his promises through the night, that one perfect night where everything in the world was right.
It was the last night we ever got.
The next morning, the sky had lightened only by a shade when he left me with a kiss and a promise, and I lay in bed for hours, smiling, dreaming of everything to come.
It was what I wanted. He was what I wanted, and even though I was afraid of what we would face, it was right. I would be with him, so everything would be just fine.
So naive.
I climbed out of bed when the sun had broken over the horizon, the glint of my engagement ring catching my eye with every motion of my left hand. My family was asleep, so I sat in the kitchen with my notebook, sipping coffee in the quiet morning, putting all of my emotion into words of love and hope, phrasing verses in an attempt to explain the inexplicable.
After a while, I turned my face to the sun, looking out the window, considering what would come next as I anxiously awaited my family's awakening, fashioning the speech in my mind. We'd agreed to meet at his house afterward to spend time with his family, maybe even trying to get both families together for dinner later. I smiled, imagining it all, elated to celebrate.
My father woke first, shuffling into the kitchen to pour himself coffee — I'd made enough for everyone, as I always did. I didn't look much like him, more like my mother, her dark features and big eyes present in all three of her daughters' faces. He was lighter in coloring, shrewd in the eyes, his lips set in judgment, even when he slept, which was unnatural. Happiness was not a trait that most of my family knew, ever since my mother died while bringing my younger sister Beth into the world.
My mother was the last happiness I'd known, until Wade.
Dad sat across from me with the newspaper, taking every opportunity to give me his opinion on what he read. We rarely agreed, and I never said so because there was no discussion, only his opinion and everyone else's, and everyone else was wrong. But that morning I just smiled and listened, wondering if he would notice the sparkling diamond on my finger or the fact that I was floating above all of us.
He didn't. But I didn't mind.
Mary was next up, also unseeing. Then Beth, my younger sister and father's shadow and favorite pet. As we sat, none of them saw me. I was virtually invisible in my own home, the odd duck. Where my sisters were like my father, a little vapid and a lot opinionated, I was more like my mom: quiet, reserved, content. And it wasn't as if I didn't see them for who they were, it was just that I accepted them for who they were unconditionally. I knew there was no changing them, and they were happy with who they were. And I required no watering, no tender care. I found ways to feed my soul from a very young age, knowing I couldn't depend on them for that.
The practice made me feel whole, self-sufficient.
I closed my notebook, laying my hands in my lap, with a whisper of a smile on my face.
"I have something to tell you all."
Dad didn't look up, just shook his paper to straighten it. "Oh?"
My sisters didn't look up either — Beth took a bite of her bagel, and Mary got up to pour more coffee.