“Don’t I?” Her tone and knowing expression were filled with confidence as she used her cane to stand up. Then, leaning down, she kissed his cheek. “Don’t let your stubborn pride get in the way of the happiness you could have with Arielle. Admit to yourself how you feel about her and take another chance, Zach. From everything you’ve told me about her, Arielle is more than worth the risk.”
It took several minutes after Lana closed the door behind her for Zach to think rationally. At first, his sister’s observations had him so angry he could have bit nails in two. But the more he thought about what she had said, the more he wondered if she might be right.
Had he been holding Arielle accountable for the sins of another woman? Was he reluctant to take another chance on love simply because he wanted to protect his ego?
As he sat there contemplating the possibilities, he couldn’t stop thinking about the way the crushed look on Arielle’s beautiful face and the tears filling her eyes had made him feel. Just knowing that he’d caused her so much emotional pain created a tightness in his chest that threatened to suffocate him. And every minute of every day he was away from her, those feelings intensified.
He took a deep breath, then another. The way he saw it, he had two choices. He could play it safe, continue to deny how he felt about her and be the most miserable bastard west of the Mississippi. Or he could swallow his selfish pride, tell her how much he loved her and risk finding the happiness and completion that he knew in his heart only she could bring him.
With everything suddenly crystal clear, Zach stood, walked out of the study and climbed the stairs. He needed a shower, a shave and a pair of pants with reinforced knees. If he had to, he’d spend the rest of his life on his knees, begging Arielle’s forgiveness for being such a fool and asking her to give him one more chance to make things right between them.
Arielle sat down on the couch, trying to gather the courage to call her brothers and tell them not to come to Dallas for the weekend. She wasn’t looking forward to telling Jake and Luke not to visit, even though she would love to see them and could really use their emotional support. But the last thing she needed was to have two brothers in full “overly protective big brother” mode telling her what they thought she should do, while she was trying to deal with a badly broken heart.
Fortunately for her, she’d already handled the situation, broken off all contact with Zach, at least for the past few days, and was deciding to merge the preschool back into the Emerald, Inc. umbrella of companies and move to San Francisco.
When the doorbell began ringing insistently, her heart skipped several beats. She only knew one person in Dallas besides her coworkers at the preschool, who at this time of day were all at work.
As she walked the few feet to the door, she considered telling him, through the door, to please leave her alone to get on with her life. But knowing Zach, he wouldn’t listen.
“Arielle, we need to talk,” he declared as soon as she opened the door.
She shook her head as much to deny his request as an attempt to stem the fresh wave of tears that seeing him caused. “I think we’ve said all there is to say, Zach.”
“No, we haven’t.” Before she could stop him, he placed his hands on her shoulders, backed her away from the door and into the foyer, then kicked it shut behind them. “First off, are you all right?”
No, she wasn’t all right and might never be again. But she wasn’t going to let him know that.
“I’m doing okay,” she said cautiously.
“Good.”
When he continued to stand there staring at her, she took a step away from his disturbing touch. “Why are you here, Zach? What do you want from me?”
“I told you, darlin’.” He stuffed his hands in the front pockets of his jeans and rocked back on his heels. “We have some things to discuss.”
“No, we don’t.” She pointed toward the door. “Now, please, just go.”
“Not until you hear me out. Then, if you still want me to leave, I will.”
Knowing how futile it was to argue with him, she motioned toward the couch. “Would you like to sit down for this?”
“That might not be a bad idea,” he agreed, nodding. “This could take a while.”
Arielle sighed as she walked over and lowered herself onto the couch. “Let’s get this over with.”
He gave her a short nod, then to her surprise, sat down on the coffee table directly in front of her. She immediately leaned back against the cushions to put a bit of distance between them. If she didn’t, she wasn’t entirely sure she wouldn’t throw her arms around him and hang on for dear life.
“About five years ago, I was an arrogant jerk who thought he had it all,” he began, propping his forearms on his knees and staring down at his loosely clasped hands.
“And how is that different from the way you are now?” she asked before she could stop herself.
Glancing up, he gave her a self-deprecating smile. “I guess I deserve that, don’t I?”
His concession surprised her, but it wasn’t in her nature to be cruel. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”
“You had every right to say it and a lot more.”
Why did he have to look so darned good to her? And why couldn’t he sit somewhere else? Didn’t he realize how hard it was for her to love him the way she did, knowing that nothing was ever going to come of it?
“As I was saying, five years ago I thought I was on top of the world and completely invincible. I was barely thirty years old and had just made my first billion, was engaged to a woman I thought loved me and had a baby on the way.”
In all of her wildest imaginings, she’d have never dreamed that what he thought he had to tell her included a fiancée and a baby.
“Why are you telling me this, Zach?” She didn’t want to hear that he’d been able to love one woman, but couldn’t love her.
“Because I want you to understand why I’ve had a hard time letting myself love again,” he said, his dark green gaze unwavering when it met hers. “Why I’ve been such a coward.”
His frank assessment of himself shocked her. But before she could comment, he rose to his feet and began pacing the room.
“We hadn’t been engaged long when we found out about the pregnancy,” he continued, his tone reflective. “And I thought everything was going great. I was thrilled about the baby and she assured me that she was, too.”