There, he’d said it. His daughter. And that was what Kylie had come to be for him - a member of his family, his child. He’d been thinking about her like that for some time now and he knew that whatever the future held for him, Kylie would always be a part of it. He would make it official. She would be his daughter.
“Can we see her?” he asked.
“Yes, but one at a time. And you’ll have to scrub first. We don’t want any risk of infection.” He nodded to Pierce. “You go first, Mr. D’Amato.”
Pierce looked at Celine and she nodded, her face flushed with relief. “Go to her.”
When Pierce disappeared through the swinging doors Celine sat back down and stared at the floor. Thank God Kylie was going to be all right. She didn’t know what she would do if she hadn’t pulled through. She was dying to run to her and hug her close but she would have to wait her turn.
Then she thought of the role she’d played in Kylie’s near tragedy. Why had she left her alone? She’d moved quickly in the bathroom and had returned downstairs to find the kitchen empty and Kylie gone. She’d gone into the garden, thinking she’d wandered out there but there was no Kylie. Then she ran back to the pool and that was when she saw the open gate. She dashed through and there was Kylie floating face down the water.
She screamed then dove into the water and dragged her out. She immediately started with the life-saving techniques she’d learned as a teenage babysitter. She only stopped long enough to call the ambulance and then she kept working on her until the paramedics took over.
All that had taken mere minutes but to Celine it seemed like a lifetime.
She got up, too agitated to sit still any longer, and began to pace the floor. Then she came to a standstill and leaned her forehead on the cold concrete wall. Her shoulders shook but there were no tears. She was crying again because she knew what she had to do. For the sake of Kylie’s safety it would be best for her to go.
CHAPTER TEN
Kylie came home six days later. Pierce installed her in her bedroom with lots of picture books, toys and games. He spent almost the entire day with her, playing with the dolls on her bed and acting out plays with sock puppets he’d made himself. Celine could see that he was trying to make it up to Kylie for the trauma of the past week, even to the point of overdoing it. It was only when her eyelids drooped that he decided to leave her alone.
Now that Kylie was home Celine decided it was time to broach the subject of her departure. She asked Pierce to meet with her in the kitchen and then she sat down and laid out her plan. She would stay another week so he could find a replacement but then she would be leaving.
Pierce was none too pleased with her announcement. “You’re leaving in a week? That’s a whole five weeks earlier than planned.”
“I know, and that’s why I’ll stay the week to give you time to find my replacement. You and I know it’s for the best.”
“Best for you? It’s certainly not best for Kylie.”
“Especially for Kylie,” she cried. “Look what happened to her in my care? I’d never be able to forgive myself if things had been…worse.”
“Celine,” he said, his face a study in exasperation, “it wasn’t your fault. It could have happened under anybody’s watch.”
“But it happened under mine. Don’t you understand what that means for me? I almost got Kylie killed.” The guilt swept through her and she felt like her heart would crack right open.
“Celine, will you stop it?” Pierce’s voice was harsh. “What happened was an accident. It could have happened to any one of us, to forget to lock the gate. I know it wasn’t deliberate.”
Celine sucked in her breath, her eyes wide with shock. “You don’t believe me. You do think it was my fault.”
“I’m not saying that.” Pierce was glaring back at her now. “Any one of us - you, me, Mrs. Simpson - could have left the gate open. I’m not trying to cast blame. I’m just saying even if it had been you I would not condemn you for what happened.”
Now he was changing his story. In Celine’s mind Pierce did blame her. This discussion was only confirming that she’d made the right decision. She needed to go as soon as possible.
“Pierce,” she said quietly, “I’ve made up my mind. I know you don’t trust me with Kylie anymore so it’s best for all of us if I leave. Please start looking for my replacement.”
Pierce was scowling at her now. “Is that your final word on this?”
“It’s my final word,” she said, keeping her face blank even though she felt hollow inside.
If only she didn’t have to go. She would miss Kylie so much. And Pierce. And even though he’d said she didn’t have to go, even though he said he still trusted her, it was the big question that made her want to flee. How did she know she could trust herself?
She’d left the gate open, it seemed, even though she could distinctly remember locking it. Pierce seemed to think so although he wouldn’t admit it. She’d been so sure and look what happened. How could she be sure it wouldn’t happen again?
No, for the sake of Kylie’s safety it was best if she stayed far away…no matter that her heart was breaking at the thought.
***
Sixteen days. It was sixteen days since Celine had last seen Kylie and Pierce. She’d thought things would get better with time, that the pain would eventually go away, but it had gotten worse. She was far away from Kylie and it was like being separated from her own daughter.
This summer she’d had a family, a family very different from the one in France, but a family just the same. And she missed them as she would her own flesh and blood.
She’d tried hard not to intrude in their lives but she hadn’t been able to resist calling Kylie and had done so almost every day since leaving. But calling was not the same as seeing her, holding her, smelling the cherry blossom fragrance of her hair.
Celine had made sure to call the house during the daytime when she knew Pierce would not be around. She didn’t know if her heart could take the deep timbre of his voice without breaking down in tears. She missed him too much for words. She’d been afraid that if she ever saw him she would break down and blurt out how she truly felt about him. And what would that achieve? He’d probably be speechless with embarrassment or bolt for the nearest exit.