She nods and takes a deep breath. ‘The moment I clapped eyes on Miller Hart, I suspected he might be connected. William appearing from nowhere when you ran off to America only confirmed it.’ She studies me, and I recoil, shocked at her confession. She pushed Miller and me together. The dinner, everything, she encouraged it all, but she goes on before I can question her motives. ‘But for the first time in forever, I saw your eyes come to life, Olivia. He gave you life. I couldn’t take that away from you. I’d seen that look in a girl before, and I lived through the devastation when it was taken away from her. I’m not going through that again.’
My heart starts to free-fall into my tummy. I know what she’s going to say next and I’m not sure if I can bear to hear it. My eyes begin to fill with painful tears as I silently beg for her to finish right there.
‘That girl was your mother, Olivia.’
‘Please, stop,’ I sob, trying to get to my feet and escape, but Nan takes a firm hold of my arm and pulls me back down. ‘Nan, please.’
‘These people have taken all of my family from me. They’re not taking you as well.’ Her voice is strong and determined. Unwavering. ‘Let Miller do what he needs to do.’
‘Nan!’
‘No!’ She yanks me closer and grabs my cheeks, squeezing them harshly. ‘Take your head out of the sand, my girl. You have something to fight for! I should have said this to your mother and I didn’t. I should have said it to William, but I didn’t.’
‘You know?’ I choke, wondering what she might hit me with next. I’m being bombarded with too much information for my little mind to deal with.
‘Of course I know!’ She looks frustrated. ‘I also know that my baby girl is back and no bleeder has had the decency to tell me!’
I fly back on the couch in shock, my plummeted heart now sprinting up to my throat. ‘You . . .’ I can’t get my words out. I’m utterly gobsmacked. I’ve grossly underestimated my grandmother. ‘How . . .’
She settles back against her pillow, all calm, while I remain stuck to the back of the sofa, searching my mind for something to say. Anything.
Nothing.
‘I’m going to take a nap,’ she says, beginning to get cosy, like the past five minutes haven’t happened. ‘And when I wake up, I want everyone to stop treating me like I’m stupid. You can leave me in peace.’ Her eyes close and I instantly take the cue – worried of the repercussions if I don’t. Gradually lifting my lifeless body from the couch, I start to back out of the lounge, faltering once, twice, three times, thinking maybe we should talk more. But to talk, I need to form words, and none are coming to me. I quietly pull the door closed and stand in the hallway, wiping at my eyes and brushing down my creased dress. I don’t know what to do with any of this. One thing is for sure, though. My head has been well and truly yanked from the sand. I’m not sure whether to be thankful or troubled by her awareness.
Hushed whispers from the kitchen draw me from my pondering and my feet take off across the carpet, taking me to a situation I’m certain will only add to my mixed-up state. On entering the kitchen, the first sign isn’t good. Miller has his head in his hands at the table and William and Gregory are both leaning against the worktop looking on.
‘What is it?’ I ask, filling my voice with strength. I’m not sure who I’m trying to kid.
Three heads whip around, but it’s Miller who has my attention. ‘Olivia.’ He stands and comes to me. I don’t like that he’s sliding his mask into place, quickly concealing his despair. ‘How is she?’
His question sends me off into a daze again as I mentally pull together an explanation for how she is. Nothing here is acceptable, except the truth. ‘She knows,’ I utter, worrying that that statement is going to need to be extended. When an inquisitive look jumps onto Miller’s face, that worry is confirmed to be warranted.
‘Elaborate,’ he orders.
I sigh, letting Miller lead me to the kitchen table and sit me down. ‘She knew Charlie wasn’t good news. She knows he has something to do with you two.’ I wave a finger between William and Miller. ‘She knows everything.’ William’s face tells me he already knew that. ‘She’s going to have a snooze now and when she wakes up, she wants everyone to stop treating her like she’s stupid.’
William lets out a nervous bark of laughter, as does Gregory. I know what they’re thinking, or at least thinking beyond their initial shock at this news. They’re thinking that this is way too much for her to deal with, especially since she’s just been discharged from the hospital. I haven’t the first idea if they’re right. Have I underestimated her? I don’t know, but one thing I do know is that I’m about to put their current shock to shame. ‘She knows my mum is back.’
Everyone in the room gasps.
‘Oh Jesus,’ Gregory breathes, rushing across to me, crouching to give me a cuddle. ‘Oh, baby girl. Are you OK?’
I nod into his shoulder. ‘I’m fine,’ I assure him, no matter how not fine I am. I let him coo and fuss over me, stroke me and kiss my head repeatedly. And when he pulls away from my seated form, he gazes at me for an age, all fondly. ‘I’m here for you.’
‘I know.’ I take his hands and squeeze, then use the opportunity to gauge the faces of the other two men in the room after my shocking news. William has a strange combination of awe and worry on his. And when I look to Miller, I see . . . nothing. He’s poker-faced. His aloofness has fallen into place, but I can see something in his eyes, and I study them forever trying to figure out what it is. I can’t.