“Garrett, I’m so sorry. I wish you had told me sooner. I knew you were serious, but I guess I didn’t realize how much,” she confessed.
“You had a life of your own, Clare, with a husband and a new baby. I don’t fault you for living it. And you can’t feel guilty for not knowing what I didn’t tell you.”
She took my hand, and I pulled her into my arms. I’d always be her baby brother, but she was a midget in comparison. I dwarfed her tiny frame.
“Do you think that maybe there’s a chance that you two could—”
“No,” I answered, cutting off her question before she had a chance to finish it.
“Are you sure? I saw the way you two looked at each other that night in the bar.”
“We might still have chemistry, but it doesn’t change the past.”
“Forgiveness is a powerful thing, little brother,” she said.
“Maybe for some people.”
She sighed and gave me a squeeze, pulling back to gather our glasses. I heard the back door open, and the loud sounds of children rushed in. My two-year-old nephew, Ethan Oliver, took a flying leap into my arms and hugged me. He was named after my sister’s late husband, but to give him his own distinction, everyone called him Ollie as a nickname.
“Care-wet!” he said, smashing my face together and laughing at the results.
“My name is Garrett, Ollie! Why does he always call me Carrot?” I managed to ask Clare.
She was also laughing at my mangled face. “He’s two!” she said. “And besides, your name is difficult to say.”
“Is not,” I replied. I looked at him and smiled. “How do you say Logan?”
“Daddy!” he said cheerfully.
“Cheater.”
I was about to ask him to say Declan when the phone rang, and Maddie ran through the house, shouting she would answer it. Clare had let her answer it a few times when a telemarketer would call, and now, she thought she was the official answering service for the house.
“No, Princess, I’ll get it,” Logan shouted, grabbing the phone seconds before Maddie could.
He was in the kitchen, but I could hear him as he cheerfully greeted my mom.
My stomach hit the floor when I heard him say, “Oh God, is he okay?”
I picked up Ollie and followed an equally frightened Clare into the kitchen. I grabbed her hand, fearing the worst.
Logan had just set the phone down, and he looked up at Clare and me with tearful eyes. “It’s your dad.”
Chapter Thirteen
~Mia~
“I need to tell him. I need to say good-bye.” The tears were falling from my cheek and splashing beneath me onto my suitcase as I packed.
“No. He needs a clean break,” she urged, pulling clothes from my closet and tossing them on my bed.
After I’d agreed to her plan, she hadn’t wasted any time. I was leaving tonight.
“No need to linger,” she said.
I would go take care of my problem, and she would make arrangements with one of the other many colleges I’d been accepted to, so I could move in as soon as possible. Until then, I would stay in our vacation home up north. Like a child, I was handing over my life to my parents.
I was a child, wasn’t I?
“I at least want to write him a letter. He deserves that much.”
He deserves so much more.
She looked as if she wanted to argue, but finally she nodded and left, giving me a few precious moments alone.
I sat at my desk, the same one I’d had since grade school. It was white with pink and gold accents. It matched my bed and dresser, and it looked like it was fit more for an infant than a teenager.
I pulled out the heavy stationary my mother had monogrammed with my initials. I never understood why she’d had it made. Who used stationary these days? I guessed it was useful for something.
I must have stared at that blank piece of paper for an eternity, trying to find the words to say good-bye.
How did I say good-bye when everything inside of me was screaming to stay?
This was wrong. My mother was wrong.
I needed to go to him and never look back.
Do you think he’ll let you give up your dreams?
Her blunt words came crashing back, and I slumped back in the chair. How could I ask him to give up everything for me?
With a shaky hand, I began to write.
As I drove away that night, I said good-bye.
Good-bye to my home, good-bye to Garrett, and good-bye to my heart.
I woke up, sobbing.
I’d been doing this every night since he’d walked away from me in that hotel room.
Every night, I would awake, soaked in my own tears, shaking from my memories and drowning in my own regrets.
On Monday, I’d held out hope that our friendship might continue, and he would show up on my doorstep, like always, with a bag of food and a change of clothes, ready to tackle my floor. But he never showed, and instead, a truck of installers ready to finish my floor had greeted me.
Garrett had given me his answer loud and clear.
We were not friends, and whatever kind of relationship we’d started was over.
The dreams had gotten worse after that.
It was like losing him all over again. Only this time, he wasn’t states away. He was right down the street, yet so far away.
I sat up in bed and checked the clock. Two in the morning. Perfect.
Sam lifted his head from the foot of the bed and looked at me. I’d given up on making him sleep on the floor ages ago. He hated the expensive doggie bed I’d bought for him, and I was too much of a pushover to force him to sleep on it. Besides, it was nice to share my bed with someone even if it was a dog. At least he didn’t mind me tossing, turning, and waking up in hysterics.
If I didn’t get a decent night’s sleep soon, people at work would start realizing I was beginning to resemble a member of the undead more and more each day. At least Leah hadn’t been at work. She would have called me out on it immediately.
I had large gray bags under my eyes, and my skin had gone pale. Thanks to a steady diet of Ben and Jerry’s, I’d managed to keep my weight from plummeting. A girl had to take care of herself after all.
Since I’d done this crying ritual several evenings in a row now, I knew sleep wasn’t happening for the rest of the night, so I got up and made myself a cup of chamomile tea. I snuggled with a blanket and a book on the couch. Sam jumped up in between my feet and groaned as I scratched him between his ears with my toes.
I’d just turned the page to start a new chapter in my latest paperback when my phone rang. I checked the time as I picked up my cell phone from the coffee table, but I immediately froze as I saw Garrett’s name flashing across the screen.