I moved up to meet her lips. “I love you, Mia Emerson. I will always love you,” I vowed.
She tightened around me and cried out her release, shuddering and moaning into my mouth, as the orgasm racked through her body. As her body milked mine, I felt my balls tighten a split second before I came hard, and I shouted her name as I released into her.
I kissed her dewy wet skin and tucked her naked body into mine. I felt at peace. I didn’t remember falling asleep, but sometime later, I awoke to Mia pointer finger moving up and down my chest, making tiny hearts up and down my abdomen. I smiled and placed a single kiss on her lips and jumped off the bed. She laughed at my sudden exuberance as I picked her up and carried her into the bathroom.
“Garrett!” she shouted, as I took the last few steps and set her down on the counter. She yelped as her ass hit the cold countertop. I gave a quick chuckle as I reached into the shower and turned on the water. It quickly warmed up, and I pulled us both under the warm spray. I washed her hair and took my time moving the soap, covering her body in suds. I rubbed my hands up and down her skin and watched in fascination as her ni**les pebbled and hardened from my touch.
“I want to wash your hair, too,” she said, squirting some of the shampoo she’d bought for me when I’d started using all of hers.
I smiled, realizing she hadn’t removed it from the shower. She had been hoping I’d come back.
“How do you plan on doing that?” I asked, looking down at her to emphasize our obvious height difference.
She gave me a quick smirk and planted her arms on my shoulders, hoisting herself up, as she wound her legs around my waist. Laughing, I wrapped my arms around her hips to stabilize her. She started right away, working the shampoo into my short hair until it foamed and lathered. I enjoyed my new view as her br**sts pushed against my face, and I carefully ran one of my hands down her slippery body, pushing her against the wall for support.
“You better not drop me,” she said, trying her best to sound intimidating.
“Never.”
We once again drained her hot water heater. Mia yelped and screamed as the temperature switched from hot to cold in seconds. We rushed out of the shower, and I wrapped her in a towel before running into her room to grab her robe. Once she was snuggled inside, I carried her to the room and laid her on the bed. I covered her with blankets for added warmth.
I quickly dressed and ran a hand down my wiry face. I needed to shave. I headed into the bathroom and gave Mia a bit of time to relax. It had been days since I’d shaved, and I was looking a bit haggard. A bit of scruff was sexy, but this was ridiculous. I was starting to look like a hobo. I grabbed the shave gel off the shelf and pulled my razor out of its spot in the cabinet.
I grinned like a damned fool. I liked seeing my stuff intermingled with hers. It gave me a sense of peace I thought I’d never find again.
I finished shaving quickly and dabbed my wet face with a towel before exiting the bathroom. I was intent on enjoying some additional quality time with Mia. Instead, I found her curled up on the bed in tears. The bottle of lotion laid next to her, covered in old photos. Her hand was clutching the ultrasound picture I’d found several weeks ago. I rushed to her side and knelt at the edge of the bed, bringing our eyes level.
“Mia,” I said, pulling the ultrasound picture from her clutched fingers. “Please tell me what’s wrong, so I can fix it.”
“I went to grab the lotion for you, and I just had to look at it again. I look at it all the time, Garrett. I don’t think you can fix it. You can’t fix any of it because it’s me who can’t be fixed.” She sat up and tugged at her robe, pulling it tightly against her body. She drew her knees up to her chest. “Today…us together like this…it’s exactly what I want for the rest of my life. You’re all I’ve ever wanted, Garrett.”
I joined her on the bed, placing a tentative hand on her knee. “I’m right here. You already have me.”
“I know, but what happens when you want more? I can’t give it to you, Garrett. I ruined that for us a long time ago. I can’t give you children. A life with me is nothing but a dead end.”
The absolute joy I’d felt moments before as I’d carried her from the shower drifted away like dust in the wind as she spoke. This was not a woman who was ready to move forward with her life. This was a woman who, much like I had been for the past eight years, was still very much stuck in the past. I had done the impossible. When everyone had told me to stop looking at everything I’d lost, I’d taken their advice and made the leap. I started looking ahead and focused on all the joy I could have with Mia if I was just willing to try.
But what I hadn’t realized was that she hadn’t leaped with me. She was still stuck in our memories, grieving a child we’d lost and a future we’d never have, rather than looking at the one we could have right now. That day, when she told me about the ultrasound and she spoke about bottled feelings—I’d hoped that by telling me about the miscarriage it would cure everything, but I hadn’t known the whole truth, and seeing the woman in front of me now, I realized she still had so far to go.
“Mia, life with you would never be a dead end. I don’t care if you could give me a hundred children or none. I didn’t fall in love with you with any expectations. I fell in love with you, only you. If life had presented us with a dozen different choices for our future, I would gladly choose any of them as long as you are by my side.”
I took a strangled breath. I hated myself for what I was about to say, but I knew that it needed to be said if we were ever going to move forward with our lives together.
“Mia, I’m willing to make a life with you, regardless of what kind of life that is. The future is unwritten, and I want to spend my life discovering ours together, but I can’t do that while you’re still grieving the past. You’ve been punishing yourself for far too long, and it’s time to let it go.”
Letting go of her hand, I kissed her softly on the forehead and stood. I felt her eyes on me as I walked to the door of the bedroom, and as I turned around, they were still watching me.
“When you’re able to do that, I’ll be waiting. I’ll always be waiting for you.”
I forced myself down the steps and out of the door, hoping the next time I returned that it would be for good.
Chapter Twenty-Five
~Mia~
It had been two weeks since I watched Garrett walk away as I lay helpless and unable to move forward with him. It had been fourteen days since I cried myself to sleep, clutching that sonogram in my hand, like I’d done so many nights since I’d returned home.