The drive was short, and we ended up at a little cafe down the street that Garrett and I loved to visit. I was surprised by my dad’s choice, but figured he was trying to impress me by picking something more my style.
“This is a great place,” I commented as the waiter seated us near the back.
“I always loved this place,” he said, picking up the menu and smiling, like he’d just seen an old friend.
“You used to come here?” I scoffed, trying to picture my dad in one of my favorite restaurants. I looked around at the less than five star atmosphere, taking in the exposed pipes at the ceiling and the rustic wall paper.
It wasn’t a dump, but it definitely wasn’t the Ritz either, which was the only type of dining experience for my mother. This cafe was a mom-and-pop type of location with real food and great service. It was definitely not the type of place I’d expect to find my father.
“Yes, I always came here for lunch. It was my little secret,” he said with a grin.
“What other secrets do you have?” I asked.
“I used to attend all your choir concerts, each and every one.”
I gasped. My mother had never approved of me joining choir at school. She’d paid for vocal lessons, and I’d had vocal recitals every year. That had been an approved and accepted extracurricular activity. Singing in a high school jazz choir had been just some silly little hobby and not worth her time. She’d never gone to any of my recitals even though it was the one thing I’d been most proud of during my four years of school.
“I never saw you.”
“I was always in the back. I remember every solo. You were fantastic.”
Tears stung my eyes. “Why didn’t you ever tell me?”
“Amelia, I’m a very weak man. I didn’t start out that way. I think that’s what attracted your mother to me in the first place, the power I could wield. I was the top of my class in law school, and I had my pick of jobs. I was going places, and she saw me for what she could gain out of me. The fool in me thought she loved me. By the time I realized her real intentions, it was too late. We had you, and I was deeply in love with her.”
“Even after you found out she didn’t love you?”
“We don’t choose the ones we love,” he said with sadness. “It took me a long time to realize my love for her was poison. It was poisoning everything in my life, including our own daughter. She had become the master of my universe, and the worst part was I had allowed it. I didn’t care about her social ladder or money. I’d always just wanted to make her happy. But it was never enough.”
“So, you finally broke free,” I said.
“Yes, I finally decided to love myself…to love my daughter more than a woman who would never change and who would never love me back. I can’t say it was easy. Despite everything, I still love her. Or I guess, I still love the memory of her, if that makes sense.”
I smiled and nodded. “Yes, that makes sense.”
We ate our meal and chatted a bit about my classes and work at the hospital. I asked him about his new job, and he said he was adjusting well at the new firm.
Later on, as we drove, he became silent until we made our way up to the front door.
“I guess the hardest thing I’m dealing with is how much I failed you. I spent years in this fog, hoping that somehow your mother would love me back. That entire time I was waiting, you were growing up without a father.”
“You were there,” I said softly.
“No, I wasn’t, not as much as I could have been. And I haven’t been here for eight years.”
Taking his hand, as we stood on the porch, I met his gaze. “Dad, in the last few months, there’s one thing I’ve learned about regret. You have to let it go. Otherwise, it will swallow you whole. Grieve your mistakes, but then put them in the past and move on. I’m here now, and so are you.”
As it so happened, I wasn’t the only one holding on to regrets.
His blue eyes watered, and for the first time in over eight years, I opened my arms and felt the loving embrace of a parent. I thought I had healed all my wounds from my past when I grieved our lost child. It turned out that I still hadn’t grieved my own lost childhood.
As I stood in the embrace of my father’s warm arms once again, I finally felt free.
~Garrett~
That little black box had been burning a damn hole in my pocket for an entire week.
Ever since my perfect plan had failed miserably, thanks to my family and their catastrophes, work emergencies, and then Mia’s father showing up, I’d been pacing our newly renovated floors. I’d spent hours on the Internet trying to figure out something, anything that would be original, spontaneous, and represent the depth of the love I had for her. I quickly discovered I couldn’t find anything new and original on the Internet. Go figure.
Nothing was good enough for my Mia.
I was not copying someone else’s idea, and I was definitely not plastering her name on a Jumbotron. Thanks to Aiden, all restaurants were out of the question, and I really didn’t want to risk having my family over again for another failed party. Not to mention, she would get a little suspicious if they all suddenly showed up for a second week in a row.
I’d been on the phone with Leah almost every day, trying to come up with an idea, and so far, I had nothing. Even my idea to take Mia to New York and propose on the Empire State Building seemed lame and overdone.
Why is this so hard?
I knew it was right. I knew she was right. All I needed was the damn place and a plan.
While I was surfing around the Internet for the hundredth time that day, I heard the front door open followed by Mia’s voice as she greeted me. I quickly shut down the computer and stepped out of the office. I met her in to the living room where I swept her up in my arms as she giggled and smiled. I showered her face and neck with kisses, which only made her laugh harder.
“You’re a dork,” she said cheerfully.
“Yes, but I’m your dork, and I’m hot.”
“And so modest, too.”
I gave her a sly grin and slapped her ass, causing her to yelp. I carried her to the couch and pulled her onto my lap as I made us comfortable.
“How was dinner?” I asked, already having a good idea.
Her eyes were bright and full of energy, and she couldn’t stop grinning.
“It was wonderful, Garrett.”
I smoothed out her hair and tucked it behind her ear, loving how soft and silky it felt between my fingers.