"What the f**k was that all about?" I asked, hoping Logan could fill me in on all the drama I'd just witnessed. I thought chicks only had nights like these.
"No clue. Absolutely no clue. Clare mentioned he'd dated someone in high school, but the way she made it sound, it was just a typical teenage crush."
"There was nothing typical about that," I said.
"No joke. I better go after him before he punches his hand into a wall or something."
"No, let me. You're too close to the situation. He won't want to be around you, man."
Logan nodded, and I walked out of the bar in search of his brother-in law. I found Garrett around the corner, stalking angrily back and forth in an alleyway.
"Hey," I said cautiously, "you want to talk about it?"
"Nope."
"Fair enough."
We stood in that alleyway for a while as he tried to calm his rage. I hung around, making sure he didn't do anything stupid. I knew what punching a brick wall felt like, having done so after Heather had left me, and it wasn't worth it.
"Can I give you some advice?" Garrett said, breaking the silence.
I nodded, not really sure what kind of advice someone almost ten years younger could possibly give me.
"I've known Leah almost my entire life. She had a rough upbringing. Growing up was no picnic for her. She might seem tough on the outside, but deep inside, she's just as insecure and unstable as the rest of us. She hides it behind sweet talk and offhanded comments, but she just wants what we all do in life."
"And what's that?" I asked.
"To be loved. She gives her whole heart to everything she does and everyone she lets into her world. She's the most selfless person I've ever met. If there is ever anything anyone needs, you can bet your ass, Leah is there, helping. But when she's hurting, she retreats —"
"And says she's fine as she pushes you out the door?" I finished his thought.
"Exactly."
"I've gotta go," I said suddenly, knowing where I needed to be.
"Good answer."
~Leah~
Not even a night with Pretty Woman could budge my gloominess. After an hour of not being able to pay attention, I turned off the TV and stared at a blank spot on the wall instead.
She was dead. My mother was dead. I didn't know how to deal with that news. Did I mourn? Was I supposed to even care? She'd left me when I was seven. Should I care that she'd died over eighteen years ago?
Eighteen years...she'd been gone. My mother had died when I was ten, and I hadn't even known. Someone had obviously had a funeral for her since there was a headstone for her. The headstone almost made me laugh. Did someone think it was some sick joke? Loving mother and a date was all it said. Loving mothers did not walk out on their families. Loving mothers did not leave their children without ever looking back.
Was there something wrong with me? Had she looked at me, all those years ago, and decided I wasn't worth it?
Wetness splattered against my arm as I curled into a tight ball on the sofa, and I reached up, touching my cheek, to realize I was crying.
Great, f**king great.
The realization of tears apparently signaled more because it was like a dam broke, and I began sobbing uncontrollably. I didn't know why I was crying. For her...for me maybe...for the loss of what could have been if she'd just stayed.
In between my heaving sobs, I heard the front door open, and Declan suddenly appeared, sitting down next to me and pulling me tightly into his arms.
"What are you doing here?" I asked between sobs and really unattractive hiccups.
"What I should have done earlier —stayed with you while you grieved. No one should have to endure pain alone, Leah."
That sent me into another round of tears, hearing him be so kind and gentle. It was a completely different side to the bad boy I'd met months before. There were so many pieces to the Declan puzzle. I didn't know why I was surprised. The Leah puzzle was a masterpiece that required expert-level skill. It was no wonder not a single person had attempted to solve it yet.
I didn't know how long he held me, but he never complained. He just sat there with me curled in his lap like a child while I mourned the loss of a woman I both loved and hated. When I finally quieted down, he carried me to my room and gently laid me on my bed. He removed my slippers and covered me in a blanket.
When he turned to leave, I said, "Please stay with me."
"As you wish," he answered as he turned around with a little smirk.
He went around to the other side of the bed and slipped off his shoes, jeans, and then his shirt before slipping under the sheets.
"Come here, farm boy," I whispered, responding to his earlier The Princess Bride reference.
"See, I was paying attention."
"Yes, you were," I said, wrapping myself around him. I rested my head on his bare chest over the Celtic knot that forever rested there, letting my hair fan out over the lines and curves of his chiseled abdomen.
His warm body against mine relaxed me, but sleep still seemed impossible with all the thoughts running through my head. The same thoughts I'd had earlier raced through my mind.
Before I had time to think it through, I found myself blurting out, "Do you think there is a reason why she left?"
I hadn't thought about the fact that I could have just woken him up, but he turned to me, still awake.
"What do you mean?" he asked.
By now, I'd assumed that big mouths, Logan and Garrett, had filled him in on the gory past of Leah Morgan. The fact that he hadn't run out the door, screaming, was a plus.
"I mean, there has to be a reason. I always assumed it was me. There has to be something wrong with a child to make the mother want to leave. A mother is supposed to love her child no matter what, right? So, why did mine leave?" I felt weak because my voice broke near the end.
He shifted in the bed and turned on the bedside lamp before pulling me to a sitting position.
"Look at me," he said.
I couldn't. I just stared at the paisley pattern of my bedspread, the tears continuing to fall down my cheek.
"Leah, look at me," he demanded, grabbing my chin to bring my eyes level with his. "There is nothing wrong with you. Do you hear me? Nothing. If your mother left, it had nothing to do with you being inadequate. Do you understand?"
I nodded halfheartedly.
His hand left my chin, and then he grabbed the hem of my tank top and pulled it over my head. I looked at him. I was a bit confused. His eyes were shining in the dark, full of determined green light.
"Take off the rest," he instructed.