"Well, aren't you two charming?" she said.
Connor turned around, and I gave him a thumbs-up.
Leah bent down and gave Connor a quick kiss and a hug. He went into her arms easily. It was a familiar place for him, having been held by her the night of the accident. Seeing the woman I loved holding my child did something to me. It made my heart feel like it was too large for my chest.
Leah looked up at me with Connor's head tucked under hers as she mouthed, I love you
I wanted them. I wanted both of them. This was my new reality, and I actually felt ready for all of it. Leah had said I was a father whether I was ready for it or not...and I was.
Chapter Twenty-Two
~Leah~
"So, you leave for a few days, and manage to become an overnight celebrity? Seriously, it's weird seeing your picture in the grocery store...Oh and Declan's a father and he's moving here?" Clare said, as we sat down inside Phil's for coffee and freshly baked scones.
"Mmmhmm," I said, taking a sip of my mocha as I settled into the flowery cushioned chair with my late breakfast.
"Is there anything else?"
"Ahh, nope. I think you got it all," I answered, taking another sip of my hot coffee. The liquid instantly warmed my body, warding off the chill from the outdoors.
"Wow, well...let's see. I got a new sweater while you were gone. Oh, and I went to the dentist, no cavities by the way, and Maddie attempted to braid my hair. I had knots for days. So, I mean...that's totally the same, right?"
"You let Maddie braid your hair?" I laughed. "I wouldn't let that crazy child near my hair for all the conditioner in the world. She's like a tornado with a brush."
"True that, but enough about my non-exciting life. Tell me everything!"
I did. We spent hours talking, and eating. When our coffees and food ran out, we ordered more. Phil kept our coffee table full of goodies and our coffee cups hot.
"I just can't believe you were with Connor that night. Can you imagine if it had been someone else Leah? Declan would have gone on for probably the rest of his life never knowing he had a child out there. What an amazing gift you gave him," she said.
I leaned my head back on the chair, remembering those first few days. "It didn't feel that way in the beginning. There were times when I thought I might lose him. It was just so much for him to take in all at once, I was so scared he was going to crumble under the pressure. But, the minute he saw Connor, he was different."
Clare gave a knowing smile, "He became a parent."
"Yes, I guess so. He just became so much more focused. Before we got that phone call that we could see him, he was all over the place...up, down...positive, negative. But seeing him finally meet him, he finally relaxed. I know we have a long road, and so much more to go through...hell, at this point Connor doesn't even know who Declan really is, but right now, it's enough for him."
It had been a week since that first visit with Connor. It had gone better than either of us had expected. Our time in Williamsburg had been short, but I think we made an impact on him. I know he made an impact on us. I could see the toll grief had taken, but there was still a bit of a kid left in him that so desperately just wanted to play and have fun. But when something so tragic happens to someone, at any age, it's hard to decide when it's okay to smile again, to play and enjoy simple pleasures again. Are you allowed to feel happiness when you're still missing someone every minute?
I wanted so desperately to teach him it was okay to feel joy again, to allow himself to be a kid again. We both did. I just hoped he let us.
"Do you think Declan will eventually want more?"
"He hasn't mentioned it, and I honestly don't know," I admitted.
"Have you thought about it? About if he did eventually want custody?"
"Yes..no...I don't know. Less than two weeks ago, I was still trying to adjust to the fact that I was in love, and now I'm having to suddenly having to readjust to this. My head is spinning."
"Would you support him?" she asked.
"What? Of course I would. I would never get in the way of him and his son," I answered adamantly. After having the childhood I did, I could only hope that other children could grow up with as much love as humanly possible. I'd never stand in the way of Connor having the opportunity to be raised by his father if that is what they wanted.
"And would you stand by him?"
"Of course I would!"
"Okay, well then your head can stop spinning now, because you've answered all the questions you need to know. Whatever happens, whatever he decides, you are there for him. That's all you need to know.
"God damn, you are f**king smart! When did that happen?"
"I've always been smart. You just don't pay attention."
"Well, I am easily distracted."
"That's an understatement. So, does Declan get to see Connor again anytime soon? Is there a schedule? Do I get to meet him? Ooh, we could set up a playdate for him and Maddie. That would be adorable!"
"First, no more coffee for you. You're practically vibrating in your seat. Second, yes...we have another visit set up in a week. Declan is finishing up filming this week, and then he's officially unemployed. Well, for now. He has a few other projects he's hoping might work out, but we're waiting on those. In the meantime, he's working on having all of his shit moved out here."
"Leah and Declan. Shacking up together. I'm so proud of you!" she said, before she threw her arms around me, practically jumping into my chair as she sat on my lap.
I laughed, hugging her back, "He just doesn't know what he's getting himself into. I'm a royal pain in the ass."
"Oh, I'm pretty sure he's aware. We all are. We just love you despite it," she grinned. "So, where are you two taking Connor for date number two?"
"Well, if your father was a movie star, where do you think he would take you?"
"Neiman and Marcus so he could buy me a diamond studded pony?"
"No, dork. We're taking him to the movies, of course."
~Declan~
We chose a theater that was slightly out of the way, and we picked a matinee. Sarah and Devin had graciously allowed Connor to spend the night with us in Richmond. Even though I was still just a family friend to him, I didn't want to screw this up.
My son loved movies. I couldn't get over that. It was my passion and chosen career, and he was obsessed. It was something we had in common, and I couldn't wait to share it with him. A new Marvel Comics movie was showing, and Sarah had mentioned that Connor really wanted to see it. As soon as Leah and I had picked him up that morning, we'd headed back to Richmond, going straight for the theater.