"Men that hot don't do “nice” Clare. He's taking the two of you, but he wants to see you first and foremost. I can guarantee it. I mean, which one of you will be wearing a thong?” she asked.
"Um, neither?"
"What? Oh God, you do need work. Come on, we’re going shopping.”
~Logan~
"This is not a date," I chanted to myself for the hundredth time as I pulled my car into Clare's driveway. I don't know why I was so damn nervous. I was acting like a f**king woman. I changed my tie twice, cut myself shaving, and paced the floor like a pansy, just waiting for the minutes to tick down until I could leave.
I had been nervous all week. When I’d blurted out my invitation to the ballet, I was desperate. I had been standing at Clare’s front door, unable to leave. I knew, standing there, I wouldn’t have another random chance like the one I had that day and I couldn’t leave it up to fate. Deciding to do the opposite of my status quo, I seized an opportunity and brought up the ballet. I walked out that night feeling both relieved at the thought of seeing Clare again and nervous as hell. We spent the rest of the week talking, continuing her attempt at the jelly bean game via text. We learned a lot about each other in a short amount of time. I knew where she went to college and that she majored in history. I knew she was obsessed with yoga and she knew I loved to run. When I suggested I take her out one morning for a few miles she sent back an unhappy emoticon as a response and that was how I found out Clare hated running. Every time my phone vibrated, I found myself grinning like a f**king idiot hoping it was her. Clare was witty and clever and always kept me on my toes. Best of all, she didn’t give two shits who I was or where I came from.
Now, Saturday had finally arrived and I was sitting in her driveway like a f**king idiot wondering what to do. Getting out of the car would be a good place to start.
I hadn't been on a date since Melanie. Picking up women in bars and clubs didn't count as dates. With Melanie, I had never been nervous on our dates. Looking back, maybe that should have been a clue...and damn it, this wasn't a date! Now I really needed to get out of this car before she noticed me sitting out here like a stalker.
I walked up to the front door and saw the curtains flutter before hearing "He's here Mommy! Hurry up!!" followed by a little girl’s laughter. Apparently, knocking wasn't necessary, but I did so anyway. I heard little feet racing toward the door as Clare shouted at Maddie to check and make sure it was me first. There was a brief pause, followed by another giggle, and the door opened. An adorable Maddie all dressed up for an evening out wiggled her finger toward me motioning for me to come closer. I leaned down to her level and she whispered, “If Mommy asks, I looked out the window, k? I already knew it was you."
Chuckling at the thought of her trying to undermine her mom, I just nodded. I scooped her up and we entered the house together.
"Maddie, you look just like a princess." And she did. She wore a teal dress with a simple bodice and of course, a tulle glittery skirt. Her curly hair was tamed and pinned behind each ear with matching barrettes and glittery silver shoes.
"Mommy took me shopping and let me pick out whatever I wanted! I look like a ballerina, huh?" she said proudly as I put her down so she could twirl around to show off her sparkly skirt. I needed to remind myself to buy everything and anything covered in tulle and glitter.
"You sure do. You'll fit right in. How about your Mom? Does she look like a ballerina?" I asked, wondering when I would get to see Clare.
"No, Mommy never lets me dress her up. She says pink tutus don't go with red hair. She's got some grown up dress on."
Just as Maddie finished her sentence Clare walked into the room and I nearly swallowed my tongue.
She was beautiful in a pair of yoga pants, but now she was downright breathtaking.
Her dress was satin, and shimmered the perfect shade of emerald green to match her eyes. The tiny straps dipped low enough to reveal just a hint of her delectable cle**age and the tight fabric hugged her every curve. She wore gold heels that made her long legs seem endless. I briefly thought about what those high heels would look like wrapped around my neck, but quickly decided, as Maddie was tugging on my arm, to shelve that fantasy for another time.
Clearing my throat, I managed to say, “You look radiant.”
I wanted to say more, to tell her she looked gorgeous and downright f**kable. But this was not a date, and even if it was I'm pretty sure that statement would get me a one way ticket out the door. I may be rusty on dating, but I do remember some things. Telling a woman she looks “fuckable” in the first five minutes? That's a big don't. At least on the first date.
"Thank you. You polish up pretty well too, Doc," she declared, grinning widely. There it was again, that spark and sass from the other day when she was firing off the question and answer game, and she had it again. I felt it growing stronger each day. It was like witnessing someone’s confidence returning after a huge blow to their ego. She was becoming bolder in her interactions with me, like something inside of her was slowly being rebuilt. Was she flirting? I was so out of practice with subtlety I didn't even know anymore.
The women I’d been spending time with over the last few years didn't do subtle and until very recently I liked it that way. After Melanie and all the hurt I caused her, I didn't want any feelings attached to sex. I figured it was better for all parties involved. When you have my name, there’s no shortage of women, and I shamelessly used that to my advantage. It wasn’t like I was a rock star. I could go to Target or the grocery store and go unrecognized. At a club or a bar where I was known to frequent, people would introduce themselves and I would do the same. Eventually they’d put the puzzle pieces together, and I would be surrounded. Leeches. They'd hang on my every word, pretending they cared. The men patted me on my back, hoping to become Logan Matthew’s new best friend while the women rubbed, purred and stroked, hoping I’d take them for a spin.
"You ready to go?" Clare asked, grabbing her coat off the back of the sofa. She began slinging it around her body, but I interceded. I eased the coat over her slender body, letting my hands linger a second longer than needed, letting her subtle perfume engulf my senses. I took a quick breath to clear my head. Clare intoxicated me like no other woman I’d ever encountered. Every time I was around her, I had this overwhelming need to touch her. I wanted to hold her hand, touch her skin, and wrap her body around mine. Feeling no less distracted but knowing we needed to leave, I grabbed the small dress coat draped over the couch next to Clare's handbag, and knelt down to help Maddie.