“Yes, it is. It’s also subdued and understated,” he said with a frown. “Are you sure we’re at the right place?” He checked the address again and shrugged. He handed the cab driver several twenties causing the man to leap from his seat to help with our luggage.
The three of us waited on the New York street corner while the cabbie and valet unloaded our luggage. I looked down the busy street as cars zoomed by and peopled hurried along. New York was a different world. Seeing it now, I wondered how Logan survived the slow paced life of Virginia after living here. Looking over at him now, he was still busy staring at the hotel like it was a Rubix Cube he couldn’t solve.
“You okay?” I asked.
“Yeah, I guess. This just isn’t the place I would have envisioned. My mom is a certain type of woman,” he chose his words carefully.
“We’ll call her extravagant. She marries for money, and when the man she married stops giving her money, she moves on. Her last wedding was in Paris. Everyone was flown in for the week long affair, and it ended up costing her husband over a million dollars. They were married about a year.”
My jaw dropped to the floor. Who spent that kind of money on a wedding? I had that much sitting in the bank from Ethan’s life insurance and I was hoping to make it last a lifetime, but Logan’s mom had spent that and more for a wedding ceremony that rivaled Kim Kardashian’s.
“I guess we’ll never find out if we don’t go in, huh?” I picked up Maddie, who had been bouncing up and down gabbing about her first plane trip and entered the lobby. She had quieted down a bit, taking in the sights of New York as we drove here from the airport. It was adorable to see her tiny nose glued to the window of the cab as she tried to see the tops of the skyscrapers.
The lobby of the hotel was breathtaking, and everything you would expect from a historic New York hotel. Majestic marble floors led to a grand mahogany staircase. There were plush sofas and chairs grouped together making intimate seating arrangements. People wandered about reading and drinking coffee, speaking in just about every language known to man.
Logan went to the desk and checked us into our suite.
Once the valet escorted us to the elevator, I asked, “Is it weird to be back?”
“No,” he answered.
“No? Why?” I asked.
He shrugged, saying, “I have you and Maddie with me. I’m here, making new memories with you and that erases all the bad.”
I grasped his hand in mine, feeling the warmth seep into my skin. Sometimes I had to touch him just to make sure he was real and wasn’t a figment of my imagination. Why the universe had decided I was lucky enough to get this second chance, I would never know, but I wasn’t letting it go.
Exiting the elevator, the valet opened our suite and Maddie raced inside to one of the two bedrooms, immediately jumping up and down on the pristinely made bed.
“I guess that one is hers,” I laughed.
“I think they’re both fairly equal, so it doesn’t really matter. Besides, all I need is a bed...and you.” His voice suddenly became sexier and lower, taking on a rougher quality. I called it his “sex voice” and it was my favorite of all the different variations of his voice.
Logan had gotten over his fear of being intimate in the same house as Maddie very quickly. After Maddie’s bout with the stomach flu, he had spent every night with us and it had been pure bliss. Seeing him walk through the door after finishing his shift at the hospital, and waking up next to him made me never want to see him go. Maddie loved having him around. I secretly asked myself if we were moving too fast, having only dated for a few months, but it felt right. He fit in our world perfectly and we fit in his.
Ethan still filled my thoughts, as he always would. One night while Logan was working a late shift, I found myself sitting on my bed holding the letter he left behind. I smoothed my hands over its frayed edges, like I had done so many times before, staring at the words he’d written.
I had done the impossible. I had fallen in love. I’d been given a second chance at happiness, and I was diving in, headfirst. I placed my trembling hand on the seal, ready to break it and finally read what my late husband had written so many years earlier. I had so many sleepless nights wondering what he had written on those pages, and I was finally going to take the leap. At the very last second, as my breath was coming in short staccato beats in and out of my lungs, I threw the letter back into my night stand.
I was happy for the first time in years. What if there was something in this letter that changed that? I always thought “When You’re Ready” had something to do with moving on, but what if it didn’t? What if something in that letter changed the way I felt about Logan?
Looking back on that night, I felt angry. I had second guessed myself and made stupid excuses for my cowardice. I knew Ethan and I knew in the very depth of my soul that there was nothing in that letter but love. I’d made stupid excuses up for my inability to open that letter. I wasn’t ready. Still. When would I be ready? I had fallen in love with another man for God’s sake! I even had the strength to remove my wedding ring, tucking it away in my jewelry box to give to Maddie one day. But I couldn’t open that letter. Even now, feeling the heat of Logan’s body as he pulled me into his arms, I still didn’t know if I would ever have the courage to open it.
A knock at the door interrupted my thoughts. Logan kissed me on the forehead before walking over to greet our mystery visitor. We weren’t expected until the rehearsal dinner in a few more hours, so I had no idea who this could be.
“Mother?” I heard a surprised Logan say as he pulled the door open, revealing a beautiful middle-aged woman wearing a pretty summer dress and matching sweater. She looked nothing like what I would have pictured, and based on Logan’s reaction, I gathered it was a new look.
“Hi, Logan. I’m so glad you’re here,” she said sincerely before pulling him into her arms.
A stunned and very stiff Logan returned the hug briefly, taking a step back toward me to grab my hand, as if he needed the contact to keep him grounded.
I had never met the woman, but I think this new look and the way she was acting had completely shifted Logan’s entire view of his mother. He looked lost and confused, and for once, I didn’t know how to help him because I was just as confused as he was.
“Are you going to introduce me?” she asked, looking down at our joined hands.
“Of course, how rude of me. Mother, this is Clare Murray. Clare, this is my mother, Cecile Carrington,” he said formally.